::Sobs:: I didn't mean to miss March, gomen! I just knocked this one off in 1 day...and I'm 2 minutes late for April Fools Day! I can't go anything right!!!!! ::Cries:: Anyway...enjoy Monthly Madness...3...no...4!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Malik or Ryou...damns it all...

Monthly Madness 4

April 2004

April Fools Day

"AHHHH!" Screamed the ashen haired one as he jumped back about ten feet, bumping into the door. On his bed, he saw his lover, red liquid glistening off his bare, ecru chest. He was thrown carelessly on the bed, like a torn and tattered rag doll. Ryou let the tears roll down his face as he threw himself over his lover, wrapping his arms around his corpse. Sobbing hysterically, he whimpered into his lover's bloodied chest. "M-malik...speak to me...Malik..."

"Yes?" A deep, hoarse voice called out as cold, dead hands wrapped around Ryou's pallid figure. With a shriek, the British one jumped back again, only to hear a flourish of laughter as his thought to be dead boyfriend rose, cackling insanely. "APRIL FOOLS!"

Ryou was hyperventilating at the time of Malik's uproar. Looking up into his violet orbs, he walked over to him slowly, gazed into his eyes lovingly, and kicked him in the ankle. "Damn you, Malik!" The Egyptian continued to roll around on the bed, cackling hysterically.

"Ryou, you shoulda seen your face!"

"Shut up!"

"Oh...Oh Ra..." He fought to catch his breathe as he slid his sleek tan fingers along his collarbone, bringing the scarlet clad fingers to his mouth, licking off the contents. "Ketchup...always a personal favorite of mine." He grinned and wrapped his arm around Ryou's neck, the ashen haired one trying to inch away.

"Ha, ha, ha...very funny..." Ryou said bitterly, tearing away from Malik's seductive grip. "You know, you're so immature."

His blonde locks caressed his face as he beamed, his smile lighting up the room a bit. Ryou couldn't stay mad at that face, and he knew it, which was his weakness. He knew he could never resist though pastel, lilac orbs and that gentle smile. Oh, that face he had loved since the beginning, which was now thet face that was tinted scarlet from hysterical cackling.

"I'm sorry, Ry Ry." He ran his fingers through his hair, staining the ashen with a tint of red from the ketchup blood which was smeared amongst his neck and arms. "Oh," He chuckled. "I'm sorry, hun."

"Oh, Malik! Do you know how long it's going to take to get this out?" Groaned he, the ashen haired one, as he waddled himself over to the mirror that hung in the bathroom, combing his fingers through his thick mats of hair. Standing behind him was his Egyptian god, as he picked up a strand of Ryou's hair between his fingers.

"Well, look at it this way, maybe we can take you to a farm and get it sheered, sheep boy."

His auburn eyes widened as he looked back to Malik, an eyebrow cocked. His head tilted to the right as his lips parted, speaking in a low, whispery, and slightly confused tone. "Sheep boy?" The bewildered expression never left his face as he wrapped his alabaster fingers around one of the thick stands of hair that hung over his shoulder, playing with it absentmindedly. "W-what do you mean by 'Sheep boy', Malik?"

"Ryou, look at that mop on your head...It looks like you have a flock of sheep up there that got into a tub of hair gel." Ryou's bottom lip quivered, and Malik wrapped his arms around hi lover, hugging him tightly. "But, I love my sheep."

Sheep? I'm a sheep now, am I? Oh, I'll show you, Malik Ishtar...I'll show you...


Malik sat alone on the touch, playing his Game Boy. His hands jerked back and forth as he muttered curses under his breathe. His fingers moved rapidly against the buttons as his voice grew louder, still cursing the damned machine.

"Damn you, Mario! You little Italian bastard! When I press jump, you jump! Don't make me stick that Yoshi thing up your ass..." The poor Egyptian had no time for this contraption, as just as he was about to toss the purple Game Boy across the room, he heard the door open. His eyes traced up to the chestnut door and as if he were a happy puppy, he bounded over to the door to see his lover standing with a grand smile, wearing a hat. Tilting his head, Malik's eyes never left the baseball cap on Ryou's head. Batting it like a curious kitten, he asked.

"What in the Shadow Realm is that?"

"It's just a hat, Malik. No big deal..." Ryou walked past his love, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. Scratching his head, Malik was dumbfounded by Ryou's new attitude. When he had left a few hours earlier, his bottom lip quivered and his eyes seemed glazed over. He scampered over to his lover, tugging on his shirtsleeve.

"What's with the hat, Ry Ry?"

"Nothing, Mal Mal."

Mal Mal? He scratched his head further as Malik continued to follow and pester Ryou about that hideous hat. After a few more minutes, Malik couldn't take it anymore. The curiousness got to him and with a swift grab, the Egyptian grabbed at the hat until its material rested firmly in his hands.

"Ha ha! Got....it...." His voice trailed off as his violet eyes widened at the sight that lay before him, a scary sight that both chilled him and frightened him in so many ways. "R-r-r-r-r-you...what happened to the...the...the POOF!" With his hands, he motioned large spikes that used to be atop Ryou's head, but before him, he stood bald. Ryou grinned and rubbed his head.

"I kinda like it, Malik. Less to comb." Ryou shrugged it off and walked into the bedroom with a gentle, carefree smile. Malik's eyes widened to the size of two dilated M&Ms on massive amounts of steroids. The tan one followed the pale one into the room and began to rant.


Suddenly, Ryou started to giggle. Malik, who was now on his knees in tears, looked up at his lover.

"What's so funny?"

With slow movements, Ryou lifted a hand to his bald head and yanked on the skin. It stretched and contorted until it...came off? Yes! Malik looked on in amzement as the balding head transformed into a flourishing mop of white.

"April Fools, jerk." Ryou grinned and hugged his lover tightly. "Revenge is sweet, isn't it?"

"Shut up..." Malik muttered as he started to nibble on Ryou's newly born mop. The Egyptian pushed Ryou down on the bed, crawling on top of him with a seductive way of his hips. "Now...let's make this little sheep bleat..."

This Month's Moral: Never, and I mean never ruin hair as nice as Ryou Bakura's. I mean, sheep are nice, right? So, never threaten a pointy hairstyle, in fear of a tan Egyptian throwing a major hissy fit.