"Ooh the Drama" part 6 by Misa-chan
Reno and Rude finally made it back to the ShinRa building only to discover that everyone was dead. Rude scratched the back of his bald head. "Hmm, I guess it was good luck that we weren't here."
Reno shrugged. "Either that or the writer really likes us." The two men looked up and around as omnious music played. "Did you hear that, Rude?"
Rude nodded. "Yeah. It was my walkman."
"Oh. Okay." Reno continued to survey the area. "So what kind of villian do you suppose did this?"
"It was Mrs. White, in the study, with the revolver." Cloud said.
Sephiroth threw down his cards. "WAAAH! You ALWAYS win!" He threw his 'Mrs. White' piece at Cloud.
Cloud ducked and it hit Barrett right in the eye. "Owww!"
"Sooooorry." Sephiroth apologized, then snickered.
'Why is love so cruel?' Barrett thought.
"Wanna play again, Sephers?" Cloud asked.
Sephiroth folded his arms across his chest. "No, because you cheat!"
"Aw, I'm sorry, man." Cloud apologized. "So, tell me more about this world domination thing of yours."
Sephiroth's face lit up. "Well, you see..."
"I see." Cloud said. "Well, I can't very well stop you, so I'll just have to go along with it."
"Thanks for understanding." Sephiroth said, smiling.
"Okay Reno, this place is freakin' me out now!"
"Of course it's freakin' you out, Rude. There's dead bodies everywhere." Reno said. He pushed another button. "Where's my damn naked lady pen?!?"
Rude shrugged. "Well why do we have to stay here?"
"I need my pen back! Hojo stole it from me and now's my chance to finally get it back. That pen is very dear to me." Reno explained.
"Because" Reno said "I bought it at the bar the first night I turned 21."
"Ohhh I get it." Rude said.
Reno nodded. "Now do you see? I NEED that pen!"
Rude continued to look through the junk, helping Reno look for his naked lady pen.
"... That's why we wanted to OK it with you first Cid. So can we?" Sephiroth asked.
Cid shrugged. "Well, if it's for the greater good of the planet... I guess so."
"YAY!" Sephiroth cheered. He jumped in the air, causing his bathrobe to come up, giving everyone on board a generous view of his... well, you know. Aeris, Tifa, and Yuffie stood and stared in awe. Barrett shot the three girls a dirty look that went unnoticed.
"GAWD Sephers, why don't you just pose naked for all those dirty magazines? You'd make a killing!" Yuffie said.
"Or he could become a porn star." Tifa remarked.
"No one ever cares what I want!" Sephiroth shouted. "DAMN THIS BEAUTIFUL BODY OF MINE!" He bit his thumb and pulled his robe back down to cover his manhood. "We're doing this MY way or everyone dies, got that?"
"HEY!" Vincent shouted. "I just thought of something!"
Everyone looked at him. "What is it, Vinnie?" Yuffie asked.
Vincent sweatdropped. "Please don't call me 'Vinny'... anyway I was just wondering when you killed everyone in the ShinRA building, Sephers, did you kill Reeve too?"
Sephiroth shook his head. "Nope."
"Why not?" Vincent asked.
"Because he's got a cool goatee." Sephiroth said.
Everyone fell anime style.
"HEY! You guys are alive?!?" Reeve shouted from behind Rude and Reno. The two men turned around to face Reeve and nodded.
"Kick ass! They didn't get you, Reeve." Rude said.
"Of course not. I've got a cool goatee. The villian never kills the cool guy." Reeve said. "Oh, by the way, Reno are you looking for this?" Reeve held out Reno's naked lady pen.
Reno ran toward Reeve and snatched the naked lady pen out of his hands. "Where was she?" He asked, stroking the pen softly as if it were a dear child.
"I found it in on the controls. I thought it was cool so I took it, thinking you were dead. Because let's just face it: naked lady pens are COOL!" Reeve explained. The other two Turks nodded and the three of them ogled the naked lady pen as if they'd never seen a real female naked.
Sephiroth held Tifa's head over the sink.
"It hurts, Sephers!" Tifa shouted.
"Relax... it'll be over in just a minute, then it's YOUR turn." He pointed to Yuffie.
"Aw man..." Yuffie said.
Cloud busted into the bathroom. "SEPHIROTH!" Then he calmed down. "What the hell are you doing?"
Sephiroth smiled. "Washing hair and changing minds."
A suit-clad gentleman popped up and handed Sephy a briefcase full of money, then he was gone.
Cloud walked toward the control room and cleared his throat. The door opened before him and he stepped into the room and looked at Cid. "WASSUP?!?!"
Cid turned from the controls and shouted. "WASSSUUUUUUP?!?!?"
Barrett waved at the both of them and hollered. "WASSSUUUUUUUUUP!??!?!"
Vincent sighed as the suit guy ran by with money for the three of them.
"Come on Cloud! Just leave her and be with me!"
"No way, Tifa! I love Aeris! If you don't like it, you can get N or get out!!!"
Tifa slapped Cloud across the face. "THAT'S A NINTENDO COMMERCIAL YOU TRAITOR!"
The Nintendo guy handed Cloud the briefcase of money, then hopped out a window, opening his parachute.
Sephiroth sat on top of a pile of money, holding a calculator. He pressed away at the buttons and squinted through his little spectacles. A smile played across his lips. Sephers pulled the spectacles off and raised his arms. "I did it, guys!!!"
A few hours later...
Cid landed the Highwind near Midgar and the group waited for their delivery. Sephiroth was about to go inside when he saw the truck off in the distance. "IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE! NOW I CAN TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!"
The truck drew closer, then stopped infront of the Highwind. Reno got out of the driver's side, then Rude and Reeve got out on the passenger's side. Rude looked at his clipboard. "Order for Mr. Seperot..."
Sephiroth frowned. "It's SEPHIROTH."
"Sorry. Order for Mr. SEPHIROTH."
Sephiroth raised his hand. "That's me."
"Sign here, please." Rude handed him the clipboard. "Thank you."
Reno and Reeve pulled a large canvas off the enormous square-shaped box to reveal...
"The world's largest Karaoke machine????" Cloud asked.
Sephiroth smiled. "I'm gonna be a rockstar!"
"You're going to take over the world-" Tifa started.
"-By becoming a rockstar?" Aeris finished.
Sephiroth smiled. "Yup."
In the end, Cid went back to Rocket Town and married Shera. Tifa opened a bar in Nibelheim with Barrett running an inn upstairs. Red XIII went home to Cosmo Canyon and seceeded Bugenhagen as elder of the village. Reeve became the new president of ShinRa Inc. and re-named it 'Reeve Kicks Ass Co.'. It's logo is a toy cat riding a moogle. Reno eventually overcame his alcoholism. Rude lives in Junon with the girl who made fun of his name. Yuffie went home to Wutai and opened a materia store, Vincent runs a gun-shop in the same building. Cloud and Aeris got married and moved into the villa at Costa Del Sol............And Sephiroth became a rockstar. THE END