SUMMARY: AU taking place in the summer before Harry's first year
SUMMARY: AU taking place in the summer before Harry's first year. Sirius has been in Azkaban for ten years. Remus Lupin is plagued with thoughts of his school years and everything he had and lost. One night, Remus comes to a decision; he needs to confront Sirius.
DISCLAIMER: I own absolutely nothing. That means nothing: not any of the characters, objects, ideas (well maybe some of the ideas, but J.K. Rowling gets credit for those too) or anything else that you know is someone else's.
AN: I've revised this chapter because I tried adding on to the end, but my writing style has changed too much to just carry on. I'm planning on revising until I reach the end and then adding on to complete the story. Thanks for reading; please review!
"Sirius, you know you'd never be able to hide anything from us." James Potter said, slightly stunned. "Thus, I can't believe you just did that," he continued, "without me."
Sirius laughed heartily and replied, playfully punching James in the arm, "Well it didn't hurt her or anything."
"So?!" James snapped in mock outrage, "I should have been included! Besides being so obviously you, it was almost a brilliant idea!"
"Yeah, Sirius," said Remus Lupin, also in mock outrage and seriousness, "If you don't stop doing such foolish things on your own, you are going to end up in Azkaban."
Remus Lupin sat upright in bed. Merlin help him, he remembered his dream. It had been about him again. Why did he continue to haunt his dreams? Wasn't killing two of his best friends enough? No, of course not. Sirius couldn't have stopped there. He went on to kill Peter and all those muggles.
'Mustn't think of that. Think on the bright side- at least he's in Azkaban.'
'Is that a bright side? It doesn't seem like it. No one should deserve the dementors. But Sirius...' Remus shuddered 'Sirius did deserve those dementors. As much as he hated to think any act of sin justified that horrible fate, what Sirius Black did to betray his best friends, was justified.
Vaguely, Remus wondered what his one-time friend was doing in that Hell-house. He was probably wasting away to nothing. Remus shuddered again. It was hard to imagine that playful carefree boy becoming as insane as it was said men could become in the wizarding jail.
Remus tried to go back to sleep, but it was useless. Thinking of his mixed-up past had pumped adrenaline through his system and the werewolf knew from experience that there was no hope of drifting back off.
Sighing, the young man rolled off his bed and found the candle he had been using to read with the night before. He picked up his wand and lit the candle. Remus felt a shiver travel up his spine as his bare feet touched the stone floor. He ran his hand through his graying hair and began to walk towards his desk, thinking to send a letter. Remus didn't know who he wanted to send it to; he didn't have an owl, and who would want to hear from a werewolf anyways?
He used to know three people who would. Four if you counted Lily. But all of them were gone, now. Remus stopped walking. He couldn't keep doing this every single night! The ritual was the same every time he had a dream containing any of the marauders. He would wake up to think on it for a while, curse Sirius Black's name, stand up and walk over to his desk, end up starting a letter to someone who didn't exist, tear it up, and eventually sit by his window, looking outside until the sky grew light.
Remus felt his way down the wall, his eyes prickling with tears. Werewolves were more than just cursed. He just knew it. They weren't meant to have friends. They weren't meant to live a natural human life. Werewolves were doomed. Remus let the tears flow for a minute, before angrily wiping them away.
This was stupid, he realized, he couldn't just sit here feeling sorry for himself. He couldn't help what he was. He just had to keep doing the best he could do.
'Why,' was all Remus could think, then, 'Why did you do it, Sirius? Why did you destroy their lives? Why did you destroy my life?'
Remus stood up. He had to know. He had to ask him. After ten years of solitary confinement, Sirius would have come up with some reason. Remus knew that Sirius might be insane, knew that it would all be a lie, but he needed to know what the man would say.
Sirius watched the water trickle down the wall, hit a bump, and then fall into the puddle to join the previous droplets.
Sirius closed his eyes. He could feel a dementor approaching his cell. Cold started pressing around him, inside and out. Sirius held his breath and emptied his mind of all thoughts, save one. I'm innocent. I'm innocent. I'm innocent. It wasn't me, I'm innocent. The cold would move on soon. It always did. It would last seventeen and a half seconds, and then it would be gone.
'Fifteen,' thought Sirius.
'I'm innocent, you bloody dementor. Go away. I'm innocent.'
Why wasn't it leaving?
Sirius opened his eyes. The dementor was standing outside the cell, but there was someone else there too.
Unsteadily, Sirius stood up and slowly raised his hand to the bars that kept him from the outside world. Touching the cold bars, he saw the mostly-brown-haired man they were shielding flinch slightly. Sirius turned around, his vision wavering, and found the wall. He rested his head against it for a moment, trying to understand what he was seeing, before turning back to his friend.
'Former friend,' said a mean little voice in his mind, 'Remus would probably rather hex you to bits than stand there staring at you.'
"Wh-wha-" Sirius' voice died as he tried to ask what Remus was doing there. He hadn't used it for so long that one word wouldn't even come out.
"I want to know," Remus said. His voice chilled Sirius more than his freezing cell or the dementor.
"What?" Sirius finally managed to choke out.
"Why did you do it?"
Hazel eyes locked on gray.
You took the time to read it; will you press the "review" button at the bottom? Do you want me to continue, or should I give up? Next chapter the interesting stuff starts.