When Kenshin Rules Japan

A/N: I know, this has nothing to do with When Kenshin Turns Battousai, but I'm making a "When Kenshin" series, okay? Get it now? Good. Oh, and I don't own RK. But I think you knew that.

It all started on a cold rainy day. Kenshin was rushing to get the clothes from the outside to the inside so that they wouldn't get any more wet than they already were. Kaoru had just finished cooking lunch and was setting it on the table so the Kenshingumi could eat it.

"You guys! Lunch time!" Kaoru yelled.

"Who made it?" Yahiko hollered back. He was training in the dojo.

"I did!" Kaoru shouted back. Sano sniggered, then butted into the conversation.

"Well we're not eating it, then!" Sano laughed. He ran out into the cold rain and toward the Akabeko.

"Me neither!" Yahiko replied, rushing out the door after Sano. Kaoru fumed. You could almost see the steam coming from her ears.

"Kaoru-dono, I brought the clothes in......... and... they're... dry?" Kenshin stopped talking seeing the evil lust in Kaoru's eye.

"Thet were PICKING on me!" Kaoru screamed. Then, she smiled. "But I know you'll eat my food right, Kenshin?" Kenshin stared at her.

"Oro?" he muttered.

"RIGHT KENSHIN?!!!!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!?!?!???!" Kaoru's eye twitched and she held up a bokken as a threat.

"ORO?!" Kenshin yelped. "Right!" Then, he sat down and started inhaling the food on the table. Kaoru gave a satisfied grin and sat down as well.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Later, Yahiko and Sano returned to a sleeping household. They crept into their rooms and went to sleep. But Kenshin was up in his room, feeling sick to his stomach.

"Why did I eat so much of that terrible food?" Kenshin wondered, clutching his stomach. "Do I deserve this? WHY ARE YOU PUNISHING ME, OH MIGHTY KAMI?" Kenshin bellowed, then realized that he'd wake up everyone if he were to yell anymore. So he decided to take a walk.

Outside, the roads were still damp from the rain, the air still crisp and cold. Kenshin sat down on a rock by the river, trying not to throw up.

"I hate this. Why did I eat that food? Why can't I be the ruler of something?" Kenshin groaned. Kaoru's food made him feel very not Kenshin- like. Suddenly, there was a bright light in front of Kenshin's eyes and a very tiny speck of light emerged from the glow.

"You think you'd like to rule the world?" the little speck said.

"Yes, I do," Kenshin said. "Wait, what are you?"

"I'm a %)@)*#)*)#%^^@^&$$&@!^^%, but that's hard to pronounce, so call me the Little Speck," the little speck said. Kenshin frowned, then grinned.

"Okay, Little Speck. What do I do?" Kenshin asked. He wanted to rule the world so badly right now.

"You have to bathe in this river when the water turns orange," the Little Speck said.

"But water is blue," Kenshin said. The Little Speck frowned (Kenshin couldn't see this because the Little Speck is........ well......... little, but he could tell somehow.).

"So? Believe me, the water'll turn orange. Bathe in it and then go to sleep. Then, everyone will know you as ruler of the world," the Little Speck said. "When I think that you've enjoyed your position enough, I'll come and take it away, then you'll be back as Kenshin and no one will remember but you. Got it?" Kenshin nodded, then watched as the Little Speck disappeared.

Kenshin opened his eyes. The sun was just rising. He looked at the river and saw that the water was range from the sunlight. He dived in with all of his clothes in, allowing the chilly water to soak into his clothes. Then, he crawled out onto the shore and fell asleep.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Ken-sama!" a voice yelled. Kenshin rolled over onto his stomach. He was cold. Really really cold.

"Ken-sama!" another voice cried out.

"Everyone's been looking for you, Ken-sama! We thought that you had been hurt!" somebody else yelled.

"What happened last night?" Kenshin wondered. Then, he remembered the Little Speck. Did it work? Kenshin stood up.

"I'm fine," Kenshin said. He looked at the crowd gathered around him. "What?"

"You're supposed to be at the Palace, Ken-sama!" a woman said.

"Palace?" Kenshin asked. The crowd hurried him along to where the dojo HAD been. In its place was an enormous palace.

"Ken-sama!" Kaoru yelled, running out of the palace. "I was so worried!" Kenshin looked at her. She had on a gray gi and a black hakama. Her hair was tied in a bun and her hands were covered with soap.

"What have you been doing, Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin asked. Kaoru gasped.

"There is no need to address me that way, Ken-sama," Kaoru said, blushing. "I am only your humble servant, and I have been washing the dishes for you." Kenshin grinned.

"Oh, I see," he said. "I'll go start on the laundry and then we can-" Kenshin started, but Kaoru stopped him.

"Excuse me, Ken-sama, but you really don't have to. I am the one who will do everything for you, except for cook. Megumi-san will do that," Kaoru said. Kenshin nodded. Then, Yahiko came out holding a broom.

"Ken-sama!" Yahiko yelled. "Welcome home!" He continued to sweep the floors. Kenshin smiled and headed into the sparkling palace where he found his room and walked inside. Then, he closed the door and locked it.

"It worked! I wasn't dreaming! WOW!" Kenshin squealed with glee. He glanced out the window and looked down. His room was on the second floor and he could see almost all of Tokyo from it. Suddenly, he was hit by a very mischievous, not good, very bad, not Kenshin-like idea. He would get revenge on all of his sworn enemies like......... Shishio, the Juppongatana, Saito, Jin-e, Raijuta, Enishi, and everyone who had ever gotten on his nerves (other than Yahiko, Sano, Kaoru, Megumi and the rest of the Kenshingumi.). Oh this would be fun..........................................

A/N: Okay so this was kind of not funny, but it will be when Kenshin gets revenge on everyone. Who goes first from the list of people (Everyone will get a turn, I just need to know who to start with......)? Review and tell me and I will post the next chapter soon. The first one with......... three votes will go first. (If I don't get three votes, I'll post whoever I want to MUA HA HA HA!)


Tusuami: This is kind of a sequel. I'm posting it in the same story though so maybe not. Yeah, everyone needs a mental cage for their mental, crazy friend, so get one! Believe me, it helps. ^^ Thanks for the review!