DISCLAIMER: Digimon Adventure, Digimon 02, and their characters and concepts are copyrighted Toei Animation, NEIC, Bandai, and Fox Kids. All other words, plots, characters, and creations are copyrighted Katya Konkle.
When you're here, I can never sleep. I stay awake more than half the night, watching your eyes flicker behind their lids and your fingers jerk the sheets as you dream. It's in these times that I think clearest, invariably concluding one true thing:
You and I, we balance.
Like the yang and the yin, the dark and the light, the up and the down. Like how you carry my confidence for me, and I carry your patience for you. Like how you can be so strong and ready to take on the world, and I can be so weak and afraid to venture from the confines of my own mind. Like how our bodies and minds and hearts mesh at exactly the right angle.
Like how we were made just for each other.
I've lost count of all the times I've wanted to ask you about love but instead looked away and smiled that horrid silicon smile that I just can't get rid of. I want to know if you believe like me that there is only one person in the world for every other. I want to know what you think is how early is too early to find the second end of your red thread.
I want to know if, for you, that person is me.
Deep down in this frayed and shrunken and completely unworthy heart of mine, I know that you're mine.
I think Miyako-san thinks I'm hers, but she is a teeming mass of wants and desires that are entirely too physical. She doesn't need me, not in the complete, perfect definition of the word. You and she are alike, it's true, but she has never given me any sense of completeness. Not like you. My heart has never swelled at the mention of her name, never felt completely at ease in the quiet moments when we are alone. Even the simple contemplation of a mimicry of love for her sake pains me, and could only end bitterly.
I can't even seriously think of some nameless, faceless person I've yet to meet, years and years from now, giving me yet a fraction of the balance I can find with you.
Me: the yang or the yin? The dark or the light? I'm under no illusions, but you never like to hear me speak oft it. I limit myself to these midnight musings, staring down at your beautifully slack face because you're sleeping on the floor instead of next to me in my bed where I so very, very badly want you to be, limbs tangled with mine, your hair dusting my cheek, lips only split seconds apart.
But we do balance. The absence of a quality in one of us equals the presence of it in the other. You have the courage, and I have the cowardice. And I fear – fear so greatly that the dread hollows me, crushes me – that I am the one with all the love, all the need, and you....
NOTE: I wrote this as sort of a personal challenge, as I've never written a 500-word ficlet before, and I was inspired by all of Sunfreak's wonderful little creations. (Go read them now!!) If you're planning on reviewing, please keep in mind that Ken is very self-deprecating in this, and what's above is simply my interpretation of how he feels about himself, not how I personally feel about him.