Love Hina - Married With Princess
Married With Princess[PG-13]
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson


Summary: Prince Su Keitaro? What's this? Hinata Sou is an embassy because of the Princess living there? Making it foreign soil? Soil in which a certain law states that living under the same roof with a woman for a year means that you're married? Soil in which divorces aren't recognised? Soil in which cluster marriages are allowed? Keitaro, welcome to married life.

Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine.

Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860, MSN Messenger as iamhawk@yahoo.com or through e-mail as iamhawk@yahoo.com, more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at or by clicking on my handle up above if you're on ff.net.

"speech"
*emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers*
/thoughts/
*/telepathy/*
~translation~
+soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV+




Chapter One:


"I'm not paying for mistakes. I've been doing that since I got married."
- Al Bundy from 'Married with Children'


+Knock+ +Knock+ +Knock+

"Coming." Keitaro called, veering off from his chosen path towards his room and further studies, having just left the kitchen where he had grabbed some leftovers from lunch to appease a rumbling stomach. He opened the door and with a certain amount of embarrassment, hid the beef-bowl he was carrying behind his back.

He was surprised to find a strangely dressed man standing behind the door. The man was vaguely familiar to Keitaro, but he couldn't quite place him. But the style of dress brought back memories for Keitaro, memories from when Su's brother had visited and Keitaro had been dragged off to Molmol because the lying bastard had posed as Keitaro and nobody had believed Keitaro's outraged protests that he was the real Keitaro. This manner of dress reminded him of that worn by people in Su's home country.

The three eyes emblazoned on his chest was also a dead give-away.

"Prince Su?" the strangely dressed man inquired.

"Eh, no. We just look alike. I'm Urashima Keitaro. The Prince isn't here, at least not as far as I know." he replied, wondering if Kaolla's lying brother had returned and snuck into the hot spring. "Are you looking for Su Kaolla?" he inquired, trying to recall just where he'd met this person. He was certain that he'd seen him somewhere before. Probably during his brief visit in Molmol, but he wasn't entirely certain of that.

"You *have* been living here for a year now, haven't you?" the man inquired.

"Uh... Yes?" Keitaro replied hesitantly after hastily recollecting just when he'd first started living at the Hinata Sou.

"Under the same roof as Princess Su Kaolla?" the stranger continued.

"Uh... Yes?" Keitaro repeated, even more bewildered now.

"Then, congratulations. You're now Prince Su. By the laws of our country, a man and a woman are wed if they live more then a year together under the same roof." the stranger explained.

"What?!" Keitaro exclaimed. "Wait! This isn't your country, this is Japan!" he said, realising that there was a loophole he could use. He suddenly grinned, proud at himself for coming up with it. Surely someone with his brains would make it into Todai!

"No, not really. Since the Princess is living here, this is technically speaking an embassy. We had to make it so, in order to allow the princess to legally implement some of the defences she's installed to ensure her safety. And since this is an embassy, you're technically speaking standing on Molmol soil. You're in Molmol right now. Our laws apply. So, once again. Congratulations, Prince Su." was the calm response. "I am Lu Rawan, Royal Chancellor of Molmol. I am here to present you with your crown, Molmol citizenship and passport, as well as all the necessary documentation on your recent marriage." Rawan continued, then handed a black attaché case sealed with red tape to Keitaro, keys in the locks.

"What?!" Keitaro repeated. "I'm married, to Su?! And I'm a Prince?! Of a country I've only visited once and that was under protest?!" he demanded and received a nod in response. "I want a divorce!" he instantly decided.

"I'm sorry. Molmol doesn't recognise divorces. We marry for life." Rawan solemnly informed Keitaro, who promptly fainted, dropping the beefbowl on the floor.




"Who are you? What are you doing here?" Motoko demanded, being the first one the scene, drawn in by Keitaro's shrill protests and the noise of shattering porcelain. "What have you done to Urashima?!" she demanded, pointing her sword at Rawan who was carrying an unconscious Keitaro towards the couch.

"I am Lu Rawan, Royal Chancellor of Molmol. Prince Keitaro fainted once I informed him of his new social and marital status." Rawan explained and stretched Keitaro out on the couch.

"'Prince' Keitaro?" Motoko repeated, then chuckled. "Like that would ever happen." she laughed, then suddenly the point of her sword was aimed at Rawans throat. "Now, tell me the truth lest I sever your head from your neck, foul intruder." she snarled.

"Hiya, Motoko. Whatcha do... Hiya, Rawan. Whatcha doin' here?" Su said, leaping into the room like a demented frog on speed. She perched on top of the couch like a bird of prey, looking down at the unconscious Keitaro. "Whatcha done with the pervert?" she inquired.

"Prince Keitaro fainted once I informed him of his new social and marital status." Rawan repeated, bowing for Su as much as the sword at his throat would allow him to do. Which wasn't much.

"You know this... Person?" Motoko inquired, glancing over at Su.

"Sure! That's Lu Rawan. He's the Royal Chancellor back home." Su replied happily, then looked down at Keitaro again. "So, it's finally been a year, huh?" she inquired.

"Indeed it has, Princess." Rawan replied, as Motoko slowly removed the sword from his throat.

"I'm married to him?" Su inquired.

"Indeed you are, Princess." Rawan assured her.

"Cool." she replied. "Did'ya give him all his stuff?"

"Indeed I have, Princess." Rawan responded solemnly.

"Then he's mine? No way out?" Su demanded.

"Indeed he is, Princess. The marriage is finalised, his citizenship approved and everything processed. He is Su Keitaro, Price of Molmol." Rawan announced.

"Yay!" Su cheered, then turned to regard the now completely flabbergasted Motoko. "Sorry Motoko, you'll be sleeping alone for a while. I'll be sleeping with Keitaro from now on."

"What?!" Motoko exclaimed. "You cannot! He's a pervert! He's a male! It is not proper!"

"So what? He's my pervert! I'm married to him. It's very proper for husband and wife to sleep together." Su countered. "So there! Biii-da!" she added, pulled one eyelid down and stuck her tongue out.

"But Narusegawa..." Motoko stuttered.

"Narusegawa-narusmegawa. I've got him now. She can have him later." Su flippantly responded. "You can have a go at him as well, if you want to recreate any of those naughty stories you've been writing. But I'm first!" she insisted, causing Motoko to blush furiously, backtrack and wave her hands in front of her, making warding gestures.

"Me?! Do? With... Uh... Male! He's a male! No. No!" Motoko protested, backing up against the wall with a panicked look on her face. How had Su found those stories? Motoko kept them in a locked box at the bottom of her closet!

"You're going to do what with a male?" Kitsune inquired, strolling into the room followed by Shinobu and Sarah. "I didn't think you were into guys, Motok... Who's this?" she continued, indicating Rawan.

"That's Chancellor Rawan. He came to tell Keitaro that he's a Prince and married to me now." Su cheerfully exclaimed. "'Aint it cool? I'm married to the pervert Ronin!" she said, bent forward over herself and moved up into a handstand. She then completely flipped over and flopped down on top of Keitaro, causing him to emit a pained 'Ouff' as she landed. She crossed her legs, grabbed his head with both hands and yanked his head up off the couch.

"Huhglr?" Keitaro slurred and opened his eyes.

"Hiya, husband!" Su greeted him, then promptly went ahead and sealed her lips to his.

"Aouuuuu!" Shinobu whimpered, tears in her eyes as she stared at her sempais lips being ravaged by Su.

"MMmmgrrr!" Keitaro protested, though it only came out as a muted, muffled sound as vacuum Su sucked his tongue into her mouth. Keitaro waved his arms in the air, cast pleading expressions around the room and then froze completely.

Narusegawa Naru had arrived.

And she did not like what she was seeing.

"*KEITARO*!" she bellowed, then shot across the room with the speed of greased lightening. "There's no explaining away *this*, you molester!" she cried out and drew her fist back, only to suddenly find herself frozen stiff. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't bring herself to move a muscle. She was completely paralysed!

"You will not be allowed to harm Prince Keitaro." Rawan calmly informed her and removed his hand from around her back, where he had pressed a series of pressure points.

"Chancellor Rawan is also head of the Royal Bodyguards!" Su said, pulling away from Keitaro in order to look over at the paralysed tenant. "And Naru, could you at least stop trying to pummel my husband while I'm still kissing him?" she requested. "You can play with him once I'm through." she generously added, then recaptured Keitaro's lips.

"Aouuuuuu!" Shinobu wailed again, reassuming her whimpering, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Aw, Shinobu. Don't cry." Su pleaded, pulling away from Keitaro. "Here, you can have a go at him too!" she exclaimed, yanking his head around and forcing his lips to pucker up in Shinobu's direction, which caused the young girl to promptly shut up, in favour of blushing furiously before fainting, collapsing into Kitsune's arms, who was quick to save the young girl from a nasty fall. "Oh well, more for me." Su said, shrugging it off, before turning Keitaro's head towards her again.

"Help..." Keitaro whimpered, before he was silenced and kept busy for nearly a full minute. Another five minutes passed before Rawan could be persuaded to revive Naru from her paralyzation.

"It wasn't my idea!" Keitaro exclaimed as soon as Rawan restored Naru to full mobility. "I had nothing to do with it!" he added for good measure.

Naru clenched her fists and made as if to step towards him, but one disapproving look from Rawan caused her to hold back.

"You have exactly ten seconds to explain why you're married to Su." Naru growled.

"Because Su lives here, it's an embassy, making it Molmol soil. There's a Molmoleese law that states that if a man and a woman live under the same roof for a year, they're married." Keitaro blurted out in less then five seconds. "I had nothing to do with it!" he insisted.

"Sure didn't." Su agreed. "I called Rawan and told him about Keitaro a few weeks after he moved in. I wanted to make sure first that the Ronin would make a good husband, but once I was, I called Rawan. And now, it's been over a year." Su continued, then smirked. "I told ya last month to get a move on or prepare to step aside for me, Naru. You've only got yourself to blame for not listening to me and going for it." she added.

"This can't be happening!" Naru protested.

"Don't be so upset. You can have him later." Su stated dismissively.

"This can't be happening!" Naru repeated.




"So... It's legit?" Keitaro asked morosely, a defeated look on his face. In order to get away from the chaos back at Hinata Sou, he'd snuck out and went to see Aunt Haruka. He'd called her earlier and she'd promised to have a lawyer she knew look into the situation for him. Unfortunately, the answers she had received hadn't been very reassuring.

"Near as my contact can say, yeah." Haruka responded, exhaling a cloud of smoke.

"Great, just great..." Keitaro groused.

"It's not a bad deal, nephew." Haruka ventured. "You get a cute young wife, you get made into a Prince and you'll never have to worry about money again." she added.

"Wuzzat about money?" Keitaro muttered.

"Apanage. As Prince of Molmol, you get a monthly allowance. With the current exchange rates, I'm guestimating it's somewhere around 1 500 000 Yen a month." Haruka answered.

"Crap. Never, ever, tell Kitsune that." Keitaro said, staring woodenly at the floor. "So, there's no way out of this?"

"None." Haruka agreed. "The marriage is legit. You're now a citizen of Molmol. Molmol doesn't recognise the concept of divorce, marriages last until both are dead. There are no widows or widowers, once married, always married." she explained, then took a hit from her fag. "What's your feelings regarding Kaolla?" she inquired.

"She scares me." Keitaro admitted. "She's completely unpredictable, smart beyond reason and can build nearly everything she desires to." he continued, then sighed. "But there isn't a cruel bone in her body, she's kind and generous, in her own oddball way. She's got a smile that lights up a room and she's cute as hell." he countered. "But she's almost ten years younger then I am, underage and cannot possibly be ready for something like this." he argued, sighed and rubbed both his temples. The day had been nothing but one big head-ache.

"Given time and if she were a few years older, I might be able to learn how to love her." Keitaro finally admitted with a faint shrug. "But now? Like this?" he continued, then shook his head. "I've got to find a way out of this."

"You won't. You can't. Deal." Haruka stated, then exhaled another cloud of smoke.

"She's too young for me!" Keitaro protested. "Do you really think that I could... Could..." Keitaro demanded, but trailed off. "With someone as young as her?! I'm no paedophile!"

"You don't necessarily have to do 'that', just yet." Haruka ventured. "Some hugging, a few kisses perhaps. You've already done that, so it shouldn't be much of a problem. Then when she's older, you can consummate the marriage and the age difference won't seem so large then."

Keitaro mentally trailed off at that, blinking as he considered it. Him in his late twenties, married to a young and exotic foreign beautiful Princess. It was an appealing image, one he could grow to like. He was just picturing eating peeled grapes off his sexy young wives bare chest, when he suddenly had a vision of a angry-looking Naru with clenched fists replace his erotic fantasies.

He shook his head and dispelled the vision his vivid imagination had cooked up for him.

Narusegawa would kill him if she ever found out just what he had been picturing just now.

Come to think of it, she'd probably kill him anyway, just as soon as Rawan had left.

"I've gotta find a way out of this." Keitaro muttered.

"You're not going to." Haruka promptly informed him. "Deal."

"I'm trying to deal with it!" Keitaro exclaimed.

"Not that kind." she replied, nodding at the table. "Deal." she added.

"Oh..." Keitaro mumbled in embarrassment, then picked up the deck of cards, shuffled it and started flicking cards across the table for their poker game. Playing relaxed Haruka and he *really* wanted a relaxed Haruka to talk with at the moment, so, they played poker. "Really no way out of this?" Keitaro pleaded.

"None." Haruka agreed, picking up her cards. "You're screwed." she added, not mentioning if she was talking about his marital status, the game or perhaps both.

Both, Keitaro decided as he picked up his own cards, having received nothing worth keeping.

"So, are you looking forward to telling your parents about this?" Haruka inquired with a slight amount of malicious glee in her voice.

"Oh." Keitaro exclaimed in a subdued voice as he realised that he would have to tell them. "No." he responded.

"Can I come watch?" she inquired. "I want to see be there and see the looks on their faces when you tell them that you got married a Princess and didn't even know it! Not to mention, not having your mother there for the ceremony!"

Keitaro groaned in dismay.

If Narusegawa didn't get him first, his own mother would!




"Hi. It's me. Uh... Mom... You know how you always said that I'd never amount to anything, never would get accepted into Todai and never get married?" Keitaro hesitantly begun his telephone conversation. "Well, I still haven't gotten into Todai, but I'm Prince of Molmol and married to one of the Molmolian Princesses now." he added.

He moved the receiver away from his ear and kept it at arms length for nearly five minutes, then slowly moved it back to his head, ready to yank it away at the first hint of a raised voice.

"No. Eh. I'm in Kyoto now." he lied in response to his mother's final screamed demand to tell her where he was at the end of her tirade. He moved the receiver away from his head again, looking up at the sky with a resigned expression for a couple of minutes, before he could move it back again. "I'm on my honeymoon." he explained, then put the receiver back at a safe distance for a minute. "No, she's back at the Hinata Sou." he replied and put the receiver down, while he strolled over to a vending machine for a can of orange juice. "Yeah, separate honeymoons." he agreed, before dropping the receiver again as he strolled off a ways to open his drink.

He didn't like lying to his mother. But if she found out that he was still at Hinata Sou, she'd arrive just as soon as she could persuade Keitaro's father to drive her over. And there was enough chaos at Hinata Sou at the moment without his parents coming there to add to the messy situation.

"No, we're not planning on getting children anytime soon. You'll have to wait a while for grandchildren." Keitaro commented between sips, not bothering walking over to the phone. He winced and took another couple of steps away from the phone, as the receiver started dancing at the end of the cable, screamed harangues and sulphurous oaths audible to everyone within fifty meters from the phone.

Once things calmed down, he returned and picked up the receiver.

"Love you too, mom. Tell dad and Kanako that I said hi. Bye." he hastily spoke into the receiver, then hung up. "Phew." he exhaled, then hastily reached for his cell and turned it off before she had a chance to realise that she'd been hung up on and called him.

He sighed, his communications back home would have to be restricted to letters until his mother calmed down. Seeing as how his mother was a big fan of royalty, weddings and grandchildren, being told in one and the same call that he'd gotten married to a princess without inviting his mother and didn't even plan on getting his wife pregnant right this instant, he didn't expect her to calm down anytime soon.

Perhaps somewhere around the same time he got some grandchildren on his own...

Perhaps...

The End! ( For now... )