(Grrrrrrrrr...still at grandmother's house, and without Internet access...I swear I'm about to just die and shrivel up. Who thought it would be this bad with out the Internet? sigh Anyway, so far...I have been writing all day, so expect a lot of updates from me, guys. This chapter is dedicated to Alexander Anonymous for getting me to spell Anonymous correctly...when I figure out who you are; I shall congratulate you for teaching me something new. All right lets begin.)

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the movie, or anything that's already owned by someone else.

Dedication: I dedicate this chapter to Alexander Anonymous, Adriana, and Patrick...because they're the only ones who read this...except Alexander...I don't know him...I think...Anywho...story time!

Queers and Eunuchs Ch. 5

"Okay, Will. What do you want from me?" Jack asked afraid of what the answer might be.

"Well...nothing much. You just have to kiss me." Will said with a grin.

Jack kissed Will's hand. "Happiness? Now give me the note." Jack demanded.

"Not there. I want you to kiss me on the lips." Will said smiling lying down on Jack's bed with his hands behind his head. "I'm waiting..."

Jack stood. "Come on, Will. Don't make me do this." He pleaded.

Will looked at his nails and waited patiently.

"Fine." Jack leaned over Will, and just as his lips were about touch Will's, Will grabbed him and pulled him down on top of him.

"You're just making this too much fun, Jack." Will said. "Come on kiss me already."

"Fine, fine." Jack lowered his head to Will's, and felt Will's lips on his. When Jack tried to get up Will pulled Jack's head back towards him, and continued kissing the pirate.

Jack struggled to pull away, and eventually succeeded. "Please don't do that ever again." Jack said wiping off his mouth. "The note, William."

Will pulled out a note from his pocket, and handed it to Jack with a smile.

Jack grabbed the note from Will, and gave him a sinister look. He unfolded it quickly, and began to read it.

Jack, my pet,

I have taken your precious Selene, and I have no intention of releasing her...unless of course...lets say...YOU MARRY ME! I've told Will not to tell you may whereabouts, and I believe he'll respect me enough to listen. Give your reply to him, and he shall know where to find me. I wish you the best of luck.

Elizabeth Sparrow.

Jack crumpled up the note and threw it at Will. "Who does she think she is using me last name? Bloody wench." He looked at Will. "So you're in on this too?"

Will smiled and nodded.

"Well tell her I said no! I'm not marring her." Jack crossed his arms, and stood still. He looked at Will who just sat there twiddling his thumbs. "Well...go deliver my message!"

"Not just yet, Jack." He smiled wickedly. "Do me another favor."

Jack blinked. He fondled with his belt and pulled out his pistol. "Go now, Will!"

Will sighed. "You're no fun, Jack." He stood, and put his boots back on as he left the room.

After the door shut, Jack put on his cloak, and began to follow Will inconspicuously. "What a bloody fool." He said to himself. "He'll lead me straight to Elizabeth, and I shall surprise her, then save the damsel."

A couple of hours later, Will stopped at a small shack. He looked around behind him then knocked six times quickly, and the person behind the door let him in quickly.

Jack waited for a while, then Will emerged from the hut and headed back to the Inn. After Will was out of sight, Jack approached the wooden door and knocked six times. The door opened quickly, and long skinny pale hands grabbed him and pulled him in.

"Back so soon, Will?" The woman said, not looking back at him.

"Elizabeth?" Jack said in his best woman voice.

"What is it, Will?" She said annoyed.

"I'm not Will!" Jack said tapping Elizabeth on the shoulder. "Where's Selene?" Jack asked loudly drawing his weapon.

"She's gone and now you must marry me," Elizabeth said raising her voice slightly and pulled out her sword.

"I'm not one to fight a woman, but you need to die now." Jack replied. He would have attacked immediately if he didn't hear a scream. He managed to get past Elizabeth and run up the stairs. He then began to open all the doors.

"What are you doing you fool?" Elizabeth asked getting panicked because he was getting closer to the holding room of Selene.

"Sorry... my apologies... please forgive me," Jack said to each guest in the rooms he burst into.

"So Mr. Sparrow, one room left." she spat trying to hide her nervousness and unsettled feelings.

"SELENE!!!" Jack screamed seeing the girl he had liked so much on the floor with black and blue bruises all along her body. He immediately picked her up into his arms, and then turned to deal with Elizabeth.

"Shit." Elizabeth whispered. And began to sprint through the crowd that gathered after hearing Jack's scream.

"Grab her!" Jack hollered. Unfortunately the dumbfounded crowd just wanted to see the action and not to be a part of it. Good thing Gibbs showed up in the nick of time, and grabbed Elizabeth by her hair.

"Thanks." Jack told his old friend.

"You're very welcome." Gibbs responded with a strong hold on the woman's hair.

"Hold her." Jack said as Elizabeth tried to escape again. "Bring her inside, Gibbs." Jack ordered. He dragged her into the room Selene was in and before going inside said "There's nothing to see hear go home." He entered the room after the crowd has gone, then closed the door behind him.

He untied Selene, who was still unconscious, and used the ropes to tie Elizabeth up.

"Selene, Selene, please wake up." Jack said quietly shaking her. As her eyes began to flutter open Jack sighed heavily, "Thank God."

"Splendid," Selene said. "I'm going to get kidnapped again today." Selene stated sarcasticly knowing that Jack was there to rescue her.

"What happened to you?" Jack asked concerned. "You're all bruised up."

"I'm fine...I suppose I put up quite a fight when she put that bag over my head." She said. "Mind you, if I were completely sober I wouldn't have let her get that far."

Jack looked in Elizabeth's direction and noticed she was severely injured. He smiled at Selene, and she smiled back wickedly. "See, I told you I could hold my own." She said dizzily before passing out again.

Jack told Gibbs to dispose of Elizabeth somewhere, and he nodded, and left. He carried Selene back to his room at the Inn, and put her on the bed. Then out of nowhere Will jumps out of the closet. "I'm sorry, Jack."

"No time for apologies now, mate." Jack lifted Selene's shirt, and there was a deep cut on her stomach. "She's wounded."

Will ripped off a piece of sheet and handed it to Jack. "Wipe off the blood, and I'll go get water to clean it." He said, and then left.

He returned shortly with a bucket of water, and bandages. "How's she doing?" he asked dipping cloth into the bucket, and washing her wound with it.

"She's still breathing...if that's what you mean." Jack said. "Where did you learn all this?" Jack asked bewildered.

"I was a doctors assistant on the last ship I was on." He said without looking up. He wound the bandage tightly around the wound to stop the bleeding, and then pulled her shirt back down. "She should be fine...it doesn't look infected." Will looked up at Jack, whose jaw had dropped to the floor.

"I had no idea you were capable of such things." Jack said simply realizing the questioning look on Will's face.

"Well, now you know," Will's eyes stopped on Selene's unconscious body with a guilty look "I bet you want to know why I helped Elizabeth do this?"

"Yes I do" Jack responded.

"Well, I don't quite know why myself." Will stood. "I guess because I loved you."

Jack was confused. "So you kidnapped Selene, so that Elizabeth could marry me? And what did you get out of all this?"

"She told me she wouldn't kill you, if I helped her. She was going to tell Norrington to put out a search for you, and they wouldn't stop until they found you. And I just couldn't bare seeing you with that rope around you're neck again..." Will confessed.

"I see." Jack stated blankly. He didn't quite know what to say. If Selene wasn't there, he might have made Will's day and kissed him or something, but he wasn't going to risk her waking up.

"So you love her?" Will asked and it almost looked like he was pleading for Jack to say no.

"Possibly." He said with a sigh. He stood up and looked at Will. "But I am a pirate...I'm unpredictable."

"So am I." Will said approaching Jack, and kissing him softly on the lips.

Jack pulled away quickly. "You've got to stop doing that, Will." He said. "I thank you very much for your help, but what's it going to look like when she wakes up and sees us kissing?"

"I don't care." Will said pushing Jack onto the floor, and getting on top of him. Jack tried to speak, but found that Will's mouth was covering his own. So instead of struggling, Jack just closed his eyes. "I knew you'd see it my way." Will said pulling away so he could remove his shirt. Jack began to unbutton his shirt as well.

"Quickly, before the lass wakes up...And Will..." Jack said looking up.


"Only this one time."

Will smiled broadly. "Okay."