DISCLAIMER: I don't own the X men..just there offspring. I will make no money off this and am certain, in fact, that several important brain cells died in the writing. I deserve a medal for compiling this with my sister as a matter of fact....or a least a straight jacket.

I need to explain a couple characters here;

Francis-Logans' son

Lisbeth- Rogues and Remys' daughter

Sharon- Domino and Cables' daughter

Accicia- Storms'adopted daughter

Lupin, Chris, Tiger-Forges' nieces

Maggie, Rowena and Peter -Beast and She-Hulks' kids, Maggie and Rowena are twins and substantially older than Peter

Alexis-Betsy and Warrens' daughter

Lucy and Paul- Bobby and Lornas' kids

" So yeah...."drawled Francis, leaning back and putting his arm around Lisbeth. He stretched out his legs on the coffee table, surreptitiouslytrying to nudge Sharon off the edge with his toe and arching his back slightly as she gave him a tk wedgy. Lisbeth sniggered behind her hand." I been an official Xmen since I was a pup."

Sharon continued to file her nails, a law text forgotten on the table beside her. "How exactly do you figure that, Badger?"

His wedgy fixed, Francis accepted the bowl of popcorn offered by his wife and snuggled into the couch. He lovingly patted the blossoming belly beside him and kissed his Lisbeth on the cheek. Meeting the expectant eyes of Forges' five nieces he nodded. "I captured Magneto when I was nine."

"Oh really?"Sharon didn't look up.

"You caught Magneto when you were nine??' interjected Lupin, folding her knee under her chin. "All by yourself?"

Sharon snorted, shifting to her other hand.

Francis seemed to closely examine the popcorn bowl for a moment, his face going a peculiar shade of red. "Well, I caught him despite the misguided help of others." When Sharon didn't respond, he continued his story...

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Francis looked up with a scowl as Maggie thundered past for the umpteenth time. "What the heck are you doing?" he hollered, dropping the game controller.

"I'm telling mother you said heck." said Alexis, still intent on the animated hockey players.

"I'm ALLOWED to say heck, its hell I'm not supposed to say." he growled, jumping up to follow Maggie

"Oh" Alexis dropped her controller as her team won the Stanley Cup and trailed after him, dodging Bobby as he dove for the game.

"Maggie!" called Francis irritably, sprinting to catch her. "Where were you? I wanted to play hockey!!"

Maggie turned and squinted at him, jiggling her naked baby brother on her hip. "Did we have a prior appointment?" she asked innocently

He raked his hand through his hair, making Alexis snigger as all his careful combing was destroyed.

"Hey baby Wolvie."she taunted, pushing past him to wander out the door.

Francis glared after her fiercly. "NO!" he said to Maggie

"Well if I may suggest a most singular amusement...accompany us to the front stoop."

"I already know everything that lives in that dirt Maggie!!" protested Francis as he followed them. He stopped short as he caught site of the man sitting on the front steps-a magnetic Venus de Milo stuck to the side of his red helmut and various other magnets stuck to his person. "What the hell?"

The man turned and regarded him, his blue eyes twinkling. "Are you allowed to use such language, young man?'

"Not usually bub." Francis walked around Maggie as she placed her brother beside the stranger and started to dress Venus. He scrutinized him from a safe distance, while the man regarded him with amusement. "You look like a fridge."

Sharon looked up from where she helping Rowena dress Michaelangelos' David on the mans' elbow. "Francis..."

"'ow do you spell 'princess'" Lisbeth looked up, her blue eyes wide.

Francis bounded back up the steps 'accidently' elbowing Paul off the edge. "Lemme show you darlin'" he said, ignoring the smaller boy as he stalked off sniffling.

Lisbeths' eyes flicked between Francis as he hunted for the right letters and the strangers' red helmut, one blond curl wrapped around her finger. Walking around to see his face, she lowered her eyes and looked at him coquettishly. "Is dat a princess hat??"

"It would be if you were wearing it, now wouldn't it?" he smiled, removing the helmut and placing it on her fair head over loud protests from the others.Removing the magnets from it,he placed one on his nose and glanced at baby Peter as he crawled across the lawn towards the woods.

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"I have that photo still!!' exclaimed Rowena, entering the room.

"What picture?" asked Francis, derailed from his thought process.

Rowena shoved him over and wedged herself into the space she'd cleared, helping herself to the popcorn. "The photo of my sibling sans dress."

"What?!" sputtered Peter from where he'd been in engrossed in Sharons' law text.

Sharon glanced from Peter to his sister. "Who had the camera?"

"Uncle Remy" answered Rowena around a mouthful of popcorn. "It was his first digital."

"Does he still have it?" asked one of the nieces

Accicia piped up. "No, Maggie used it in her first telescope."

"Whats the big deal?" interjected Francis, trying to get back to his story " Theres' lotsa naked pics of me around."

"You still run to de bat'room like dat in de mornin' love." said Lisbeth fondly. Sharon sniggered again as Peter looked askance.

Catching the interest in some of the girls' eyes, Francis turned red again and cleared his throat." Anyway...as I was saying...."

******************************************

Hearing the familiar whir of grand'peres' wheelchair, Francis glanced up to see Uncle Remy looking over the edge of the roof. "Grandpa Chuck...is there an alarm?"

Charles chuckled. "I don't believe that would be neccesary, would it, Magnus?"

Maggies' head snapped up. "Magnus...Magnus.."

"Magneto!!" cried Rowena, hand frozen in mid air.

"MAGNETO!"Francis lept, all his instincts demanding he protect the others. Snarling fiercely, the boy wrapped his arms around Magnus' neck in a strangle hold.It happened in a an instant as he felt his quarry tottering when a snap kick connected squarely with Francis' butt and sent them sprawling in the dust.

Letting go, he sat on up on Magnus' head and turned to see who'd kicked him. Sharon glared back, her violet eyes blazing as the rest of the children dogpiled on the prostrate man. "Dammit Sharon you didn't have to fucking kick me!!"

"You got in the way! You...flonging idiot!!" She retorted, stomping to stand over him.

Francis heard faint laughter from the edge of the woods where his dad had been watching them and saw red. "I had it under control you...frigging priss! Just stay out of it! I've had experience with this before!"

"Oh, when?"her words dripped scorn

"When I caught Sabretooth!!"

"HE caught YOU, my MOM said so!"

"Your moms a frigging priss...who dresses like a...a..." he snarled, kicking at her while still perched on Magnetos' head. He was knocked back as her left fist connected with his jaw.

Before he could recover, strong arms wrapped around his neck and teeth sank into his shoulder. Giving a bellow of rage, he struck out, decking Lucy who promptly zapped everyone. Alexis slapped Lucy, Paul leapt on Alexis, Maggie tackled Sharon......

Some moments later there was a sudden lull, punctuated by sobs and growls. Then a weak voice came from the bottom of the pile-

"Charles...would you kindly remove the children?"

********************************************************

Francis glared at Sharon as she finished the tale and the room erupted in laughter. Picking up her now twice forgotten law text, she swept out of the room.

Wiping tears from her eyes, Lupin said "Thats'way more fun than the stories uncle Forge told us about the X men on while we were on the reservation."

"Remember Forges' first gift is not storytelling" offered Storm from were she leaned in the doorframe."Bedtime, Accicia...and you too, Tiger,Lupin, Chris....girls." Groaning, the youngest denizens of the

X mansion murmured there good nights and filed out of the room. Peter faintly muttering "naked..a naked picture of me.."

Watching Storm follow the last stranggler down the hall, Lisbeth turned to her husband."How de finally get dem magnets off Grand'pere Eric??"

"I'm tryin' to remember how they got the rose pickers outta your dad's butt after he laughed so hard that he fell off the roof in his boxers," said Francis reminiscently.

"De happy man boxers." Lisbeth giggled.

Francis thoughtfully dug through the popcorn, finding an unpopped kernel to chew on. "He still got 'em?"

"De be de happy holy pants now!!" she rubbed her belly, laughing harder.

"He still wears them?" He stared at her speculatively

"When momma outta town."

"An'Uncle Remy got a new digital camera fer Christmas?"

"Oui." Lisbeth gave her husband the hairy eyeball, patting an insistent bulge on her abdomen.

Francis poked the lump, getting his hand slapped sharply. "How big can you blow up pictures from that thing?"

Leaning into his shoulder, Lisbeth gazed into his eyes. "Big as de paper. What you t'inking of?"

Francis let out a contented sigh, pulling his wife against his side. "We're gettin' that honeymoon to Paris, darlin'"

FINI

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