N: Time for another Quest story! Ok… So once upon a time there was a little girl named Xiaoyu.

(Xiaoyu appears in an empty room)

Xiaoyu: HI!

N: Don't make me change my mind!

Xiaoyu: OK!

N: … Anyway… this Xiaoyu had a little crush on a man named Jin Kazama.

Xiaoyu: YEP!

N: Uh… One day she and her friend, Julia, went out to the park.

(Xiaoyu and Julia appear at a park.)


Julia: HEY! I was busy!

N: When suddenly, The ghost of Jun Kazama approached them.

(Jun appears translucent again)

Jun: Not again…

N: And told the girls about the missing people.

Jun: Oh yeah. Xiaoyu! Julia! My son, Hwoarang, and Christie are missing!


(Animal control comes and takes King away. Everyone stares after him)

Xiaoyu Julia: JIN'S MISSING?!?!

Jun: I know! Isn't it horrible?

Xiaoyu: YES!

Eddy: What? Now Christie and Hwoarang are chopped liver?

Xiaoyu: YES!

Ganryu: (still topless) RADISHES!

Jun: (Blinks) uh huh…

N: And so they embark on a journey to find… Jin.


N: We'll get to that later!

Eddy: THAT'S IT! I'm going to build an army dedicated to Jin's destruction!

Xiaoyu Julia Jun: WHAT? NO!


Heihachi: I'll Join!

Kazuya: ME TOO!

Jun: Kazuya!

Kazzy: Yes milady?

Jun: He's your son!

Kazzy: Yes, but you see, I don't care.


Kazzy: Oh come off it. You know that my evilness is the exact reason you shagged me in the first place.


N: You guys, get out of the story!

Eddy: Don't make us come after you too, Narrator person!

N: I'm a VOICE! What's wrong with you people?


Julia: Ok!

Jun: Let's go!

N: And so they went searching for Jin.

Kazuya: Meanwhile, Me, Eddy and Heihachi plotted.


Lee: (cries)

Kazzy: What the… Go back to your room!

Lee: No! I'm joining the army dedicated to the destruction of Jin Kazama!

Kazzy: No little girls allowed!

Lee: (kicks Kazuya in the leg) I'm TELLING!

N: I said shut up! You people are not in the story! There is no army!


N: (coughs) On no! (coughs) Not a sore throat!


Xiaoyu: But we need a narrator…

Some voice: Narrator generator. Confirming request… Affirmative. (Beeps)

(Something explodes)

Some Voice: Generator rejected request by self destructing. Request denied. (Beeps)

Jun: uh…

(Everyone looks up.)

Eddy: Goddess?

Kazuya: Now look what you did!

Eddy: I didn't mean to.

Lee: Why can't the author narrate?

(Everyone stares at Lee)

Lee: I mean.. The Goddess. You people are freaks.

Eddy: Well, why don't you ask her?

Lee: Uh… Ok… Um, Goddess? Why don't you Narrate?

(Some woman appears)

Julia: Who are you?

Elizabeth: I'm The voice of the Goddess. It's my punishment for Killing 650 young women in the 16th century. (Looks at Xiaoyu and Julia.)

Xiaoyu: Eeep.

(everyone else just blinks)

Elizabeth: I'm the Blood Countess… (they blink) Elizabeth Bathory! The bloody Hungarian Countess! Oh forget it. Anyway, The Goddess says she can't narrate, and to just get on with the story without a narrator. Find Jin. Destroy Jin. Whatever. Good bye. (disappears)

Xiaoyu: OK!

Eddy: (shrugs) I guess we can do that. Let's search for Jin so we can destroy him!

Heihachi: YEAH!


Lee: YAY!


Jun: You better believe it!

Julia: Yes! Spirits! Guide us!

Xiaoyu: Jun's a spirit! Guide us, JUN! Jun sounds like Jin.

Jun: Uh… Ok… Let's check the forest! He likes forests!

(The girls appear in the forest)

Julia: I don't see him.

Xiaoyu: (Looks under a rock) JIN? Are you down there? JIN!!!! ANSWER ME!!!! LOOK! It's Jin!

Jun: Uh…

Julia: Xiaoyu… That's a slug.

Xiaoyu: But it's black and pointed! Like Jin's Hair! Maybe Someone turned him into a slug! I'm taking it with me just in case!

Julia: Ok…

Xiaoyu: (Puts the slug in her pocket) OK! Let's GO!

Jun: (Starts walking) Jin?

Xiaoyu: ANOTHER ONE! It might be him too! (picks up another slug)

Kazuya: MEANWHILE! With us…. Where are we guys?

Eddy: Let's check the dojo

(they appear in the dojo)

Kazuya: It's empty.

Heihachi: Great plan, Gordo.

Lee: Yeah! Loser.

Kazzy: Somebody call for him while we're here…

Lee: JIIIINNNNNNNN!!!!!! HEEERRRRREEEE Jinny jinny jinnY! We have a surprise for you!

Eddy: He's not a cat, you moron!

Lee: Maybe he is!

(A black cat appears)

Lee: (screeches and leaps into Kazuya's arms) Get it away from me!!!!!

Kazuya: (drops Lee) Grow up.

Lee: Ouch… Maybe it's Jin.

Eddy: I seriously doubt it.

Heihachi: Where did I go wrong? (looks at Lee and shakes his head)


Heihachi: AHH! The L word! I. Can't . Breathe. Losing. Will. To. Live. Should. Have. Splurged. And. Bought. That. Gospel. Record. After. All. Damn. Lipstick. Wearing. Brat. What. Have. I. Done. With. My. Life? I. See. The. Light. Oh. No. Never. Mind. That's. Not. It. (dies)

Kazuya: (stares at Heihachi) So that's all I needed to do.

Eddy: Back to our anti-Jin Quest!

Kazuya: Oh yeah!


Jin's Voice: Yes?

Eddy: Is that you Jin?

Voice: Maybe. Who's asking?

Eddy: Uh… This is your friend… Eddy Gordo.

Voice: Oh hell no!

Eddy: Where are you?

Voice: (Mumbles to someone) Put that back on. They found us!

Kazuya: (quirks brow) Jin, Are you, by any chance, with Hwoarang and Christie?

Jin: Dad? Uh… No. They're not here.


Jin: Uh… I'm… Not going to tell you. (mumbles to the other person) Ok they can't find us. You can take it off again.

Kazuya: Do I need to have a talk with your mother?

Jin: AHHH! No! Please no!

Kazuya: Then come out here.

(They hear footsteps coming closer. Then Jun, Julia, and Xiaoyu run in)

Jun: NOOOO! Jin don't move!! They're here to kill you!

Jin: WHAT? Dad, Eddy? How could you?

Kazzy: Oh stop being such a child! It's a family tradition. Father attempts to murder son. What would we be without it?

Jin: A normal family?

Kazzy: Pffft! Normality is for losers!

Eddy: Can we go find Christie and Hwoarang now?

Lee: What for?

Kazuya: No I wanna know who's up there with Jin.

Jun: Someone's with my baby?

Jin: you said you wouldn't tell!

Kazzy: No… I said I would tell. Pay attention next time. Jun. You baby him. You made him soft.

Jin: I am not soft. (snickers and mumbles to the person) am I?

Jun: WHO IS IT?!

Jin: AHH!

Kazzy: It's a man.

Jin: What? No. Shut up dad.

Lee: I killed Heihachi.

Jin: You did? YAY! Now I don't have to fight anymore!

(Hwoarang walks in)

Hwoarang: Hold on a minute there! You're fighting, man! To even the score remember? I wanna kick your bleep again!

Jin: Told you Hwoarang wasn't up here.

Eddy: (Grabs Hwoarang by the shirt collar) WHERE'S CHRISTIE?

Hwoarang: (pushes Eddy away) Simmer down man. I ain't got your woman.


Jin: AHHH! You never told me SHE was here! (mumbles to person) Hide. I swear she can sniff us out!

Xiaoyu: (Jumps at the ceiling) JINNY!!!!! (Latches on to the ceiling and tears at the planks.) Don't worry! I'm almost there!

Jin: Oh no…

(They hear a shotgun being loaded.)

Xiaoyu: You're not a slug after all! YAY! That's a relief seeing as how I tripped over nothing and the mini Jin's in my pocket got squishy!

Jin: Wha… Mom… please stop her.


Jin: NOBODY! Absolutely nobody!

Eddy: It's Christie, Isn't it? That slut! She's SOOO grounded!

Jin: Uh… No. Why the hell would I be hiding somewhere with Christie?

Jun: JIN! Don't swear!

Eddy: What's wrong with Christie? You got a problem with her or something, kid?

Jin: No, no! I'm sorry sir… Oh god someone help me!

Narrator: I'm back!


Narrator: Hey! I resent that!

Hwoarang: Xiaoyu! (holds up a Jin action figure) Look what I got!

Xiaoyu: (Stares at it.) There's an extra hair then most… That one's MINE! YOU STOLE IT! You dirty, dirty boy! Give it back or I'll scream until everyones ears burst and you're covered with their innards you BLEEEEEEEEEEP

(Everyone blinks)

Hwoarang: Come and get it, sweetheart.

Xiaoyu: You're a big MEANIE! (Leaps off the ceiling)

Lee: Hey… Maybe he's with the author… erm… the goddess.

Jin: (Snorts) Maybe in her wildest dreams, and even then it's doubtful.

Kazuya: Ah, I'm bored of this. I'm going home.

Lee: ME TOO!

Kazuya: Stop following me you creepy prematurely grey haired girl!

Lee: (Shrieks) SILVER, SILVER, SILVER! I'LL KILL YOU!!!! (Lunges at Kazuya.)

Heihachi: what the hell did your mother smoke when she was pregnant?

Lee: Lots of things!

Hwoarang: (pins Xiaoyu down.) I suggest you run for it Kazama!

(Jin runs through pulling some girl behind him whose wearing a devils mask.)

(Kazuya turns into devil.)

Devil: Oh I liked her!

Eddy: It was Christie!

Xiaoyu: IT WAS EVIL!

Lee: Oh come on! Christie? No, this girl was at the most 5'5"! Let's face it, Gordo, Christie's a giant.

(Christie walks in carrying a shotgun.)

Lee: AHHHH! I take it back!

Eddy: CHRISTIE! (hugs her) WHERE WERE YOU?

Christie: Having a girls night out with Chloe.

Narrator: Ok, they were all found and they lived happily ever after.

Christie: And Chloe says you're fired, Mr. Voice man.

Narrator: What?


A/N: Stay tuned for the next episode where we find out who that mystery girl is!