Title: Pens, Spoons and Other Things.
Rating: PG-13 -one swear word
Summary: All dialogue fic. Seth/Ryan -slash-ish
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Notes: I just finished watching Good Will Hunting and Seth jumped into my head with the first line, so I just wrote this real quick. There's no real point to it. It's dumb, but I thought I would post it anyway. lol
"Dude, you're so, all, Good Will Hunting right now, with your fighting and girl problems, oh and squandering your potential."
"I'm not Will Hunting and I'm not squandering my potential. And what girl problems?"
"Failing three tests in a row qualifies as squandering, buddy."
"Are you going to help me forge your mom's signature or not?"
"Better idea. Let's role play, dude. I'll play Robin Williams - only not as hairy, 'cause that dude skipped a notch on the evolution chart, he's like an ape-man or something, only funny...well, he's more big than funny, but he wasn't funny in Good Will Hunting, so that's besides the point."
"You mean, you actually have a point?"
"Ha, good one, Will."
"Stop calling me that!"
"Stop squandering your potential and maybe I will, Will."
"You're an idiot."
"Ouch. Yeah, hurt my feelings there, dude. Remind me again why I'm helping you?"
"Because I can kick your ass."
"You know, it's really your fault."
"Dude, how is any of this my fault? I've gotten over seventy on the last three tests, you've gotten below fifty, so, yeah, not seeing how that works."
"I get distracted."
"By what? Mrs. Prescott's giant beehive hairdo, Trent's knuckle cracking, Summer's boobs -oh wait, that's me- what, man? What is there to be distracted by?"
"You! You and your damn need to chew on the tip of your pen. I mean do you have to do that every fucking period?"
"Don't play innocent."
"Whatever. Just throw me a pen."
"A pen? Are you sure you can handle a pen right now?"
"I dunno, I might decide to get all Good Will Hunting and poke you in the eye."
"Just give me a pen."
"The only one I've got is the one I've been chewing on this whole time and that's too much of a distraction for you, buddy."
"Give. Me. The. Pen."
"Ohh, you really want it don't 'cha? What'll you give me for it?"
"I'll tell you what I won't give you, --and that's a black eye-- if you don't hand it over in five seconds."
"All right, all right. You just went from sexy to scary in, oh, about three seconds, but I forgive you, because the sight of me with a pen in my mouth is quite irresistible. And I know how you have a hard time dealing with your sexual frustration. It makes you think dirty thoughts, doesn't it?"
"Okay, you don't have to tell me, I know how it is. I may be irresistible with pens, but dude, it so doesn't compare to you with a spoon in yours. Yeah, you definitely carry that look off well. Spoons really look good in your mouth. Spoons...or anything, really."
"Can't, dude. The only time I can be quiet is when I'm distracted or, like, chewing on my p-"
"I think I should be insulted."
"Give me five minutes... and then you can have your pen back and I'm sure I can find ways to distract you."
"I so love it when we're on the same wavelength."
"Spoons...or other things."