When Your Role Isn't Over
A/N: I hope everyone forgave me for the first one. But this story picks up five years later. Please tell me what you think.
"She sure is beautiful, love," Spike said as he wrapped his arms around Buffy as they watched Amber play on the swings. Buffy leaned back and smiled.
"She sure is. She looks so much like you," Buffy whispered as she felt her heart start to ache.
"Buffy, will you put me out?" Spike asked. Buffy moved away from him as he went up in smoke.
"NO!" Buffy screamed, and then started crying.
Buffy sat up with a jolt. Her heart was pounding against her chest. Her eyes blurred with tears and her brow was damp with perspiration. She covered her face as she began to weep. Buffy felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned, hoping it was Spike and that it was all a bad dream. Instead, she saw Angel, lying on the bed with her. Her hopes were shattered and she began to cry harder. Angel took her into his arms as she continued to cry from yet another one of her nightmares.
The connecting door to her room opened, and a tiny child stood in the doorway rubbing her eyes. She looked concerned, as she watched, as Angel held her crying mother.
"Uncle Angel, what's wrong with mommy?" the little girl asked as she walked closer to the bed.
Buffy pulled away from Angel, and wiped her face. She picked up her daughter and held her close.
"I'm fine, baby. I just had a bad dream that's all," Buffy said softly.
The little girl wrapped her arms her mother.
"Mommy, was the dream about daddy?" the little girl asked.
Buffy kissed her daughters head.
"Yes, sweetie," Buffy answered simply, as she closed her eyes as tears started to fill again.
"Amber, why don't I read you a little story while your mommy goes and gets freshened up," Angel suggested.
Amber nodded and got off her mothers lap. She went into her room.
"Angel, let me read to her. I need some time," Buffy suggested and she got out of bed.
"Are you sure?" Angel asked.
Buffy nodded and walked into her daughter's room. She closed the door behind her. Her daughter was already in bed. Buffy pulled the blankets up and tucked her in nice and snug. She kissed her daughters forehead.
"Mommy, where is daddy?" Amber asked with her big blue eyes.
Buffy's heart ached so much she thought she was going to die. She took a ragged breath and looked at Amber.
"Your Daddy is gone Amber," Buffy said simply trying not to cry.
Amber's small features saddened.
"When is daddy coming back?" Amber asked softly. Her big blue eyes big full of tears.
"Baby, he won't be coming back," Buffy answered as her throat began to swell.
Amber started crying and Buffy scooped her up in her arms. She rocked her back and forth. Both of them were crying for the man one loved, and the other, wishing she knew.
William Sutherland stared out the window, wondering what his life had been like, before five years ago. He had no memory of what his life before then. He only knew that he had waked up in a hospital, and was told his name William Sutherland. He did research for his past, but always ended up with a dead end. He was alone. He felt like he would always be alone.
"Why did I move to Sunnydale?" William asked himself.
He wondered why he was drawn to the little town. He had bought a small house that sat by the water. He had his own beach and he enjoyed sitting on the porch and watching the sunrise. He didn't know why, but he valued the sun. It was as if he hadn't seen it in a hundred years.
William looked over at the table that sat by the wall, across the wooden interior room. He got up, walked over to the table, and picked up a drawing book.
A drawing of a woman sat on the open page; the woman who haunted his dreams, she was his dream angel. The woman who showed him love and compassion, the woman who made him feel complete, while he slept.
When he would wake up, he would feel empty inside and wonder why he even existed. William sighed, and placed the drawing book down and wandered over to the fireplace and started a fire. He gazed into the fire. An imaged flashed before him, an exploding building. He shuttered it off, it made no sense, but it was all he could remember.
"I have to find out what the woman, and the explosion have in common, or if they are even connected," William whispered to himself.
He'd never felt lonelier, than he did at that moment.
Buffy woke up to feel the bed bouncing. She groaned and refused to open her eyes. She didn't want to face another day without Spike. Of course, she had to go on living for Amber, and for Spikes memory.
"Come here, munchkin," Angel said as he grabbed Amber by the waist.
Amber let out a squeal. Buffy smiled, as she opened her eyes. She licked her lips and ran her fingers through her daughter's long blonde hair.
"Uncle Angel, why do you sleep in mommy's bed?" Amber asked, as she gazed with innocence in her eyes.
"Amber, I'm here to keep your mommy safe, from the sad dreams," Angel said with a smile.
He scooped up Amber and got out of bed.
"Come on, kiddo. I'll make you pancakes," Angel said as he winked at Buffy then headed out of the room.
Buffy threw off the covers and got out of the bed. She walked over to drawer under her closet and got out a box of photos. She pulled them out and smiled. Spikes face was smiling back at her. She picked up one of Spike, and she when they'd went to the park. She was only 5 months pregnant with Amber. Spike was smiling like crazy and had his hand on her stomach. She traced his features, with her finger, longing just to hold him once more and knowing it could never be.
She let out a sigh and decided to bring out the photos again. There wasn't a reason for them to be hidden from view, especially from Amber. She deserved to see a picture of her father.
Buffy got up and walked over to her nightstand, to put on her necklace, which had her wedding & engagement rings on it. Her gaze went over to the wedding photo. He looked so beautiful. He looked so happy.
"God I miss you, William," Buffy whispered painfully, before putting on her housecoat and heading downstairs.
When she entered the kitchen, Dawn was walking in through the backdoor. She smiled and walked over to Buffy's daughter, and she kissed her on the head.
"Well, I can't believe a vampire is up this early," Dawn said, stunned looking at Angel cook.
Angel rolled his eyes then placed a pancake on Amber's plate.
"Mommy, can I be a vampire?" Amber asked with her mouth full.
"NO!" Angel, Buffy, and Dawn answered in unison.
Amber started to pout. Buffy put her cup of coffee down and walked over to Amber.
"I'm sorry, sweetie," Buffy apologized then kissed her daughter on the forehead.
"Then why can I get the lumpies?" Amber asked.
Dawn almost spat out her orange juice trying not to laugh. She looked over at Angel, who had a concerned expression on his face.
"What do you mean lumpies?" Angel asked seriously.
Amber shrugged and went into game face. Angel stared at her, more than a little shocked. Buffy's breath caught in her throat, and Dawn yelped when she saw it.
Amber shifted back to her normal face, revealing her saddened features. Her eyes threatened to release tears. Buffy finally started breathing again and walked slowly over to her daughter.
"Sweetie, how long have you able to do that?" Buffy asked soothingly.
"Since I was thwee," Amber answered. "Mommy, I can't get down."
Buffy picked Amber up and put her down. She scrambled off. Dawn followed her as Buffy walked over to Angel.
"I can't believe this," Buffy said softly.
Angel wrapped his arm around her. He nodded.
"I thought Spike was human when you guys….well….you know," Angel said awkwardly.
Buffy rolled her eyes and stepped away from him.
"Angel, you're 250 years old and you still can't say the word, sex," Buffy complained.
"I'm going to go to bed. I'll see you before sunset," Angel said heading towards the basement door.
"I'm going to take Amber to the park today. Just incase we aren't back by the time you get up," Buffy informed him.
"Taking her shopping afterwards?" asked Angel
Buffy shook her head.
"Not this week. I just want to make sure she's all right especially after last night. I was thinking of taking her to her father's grave"
"I don't know Buffy. It seems a little much for a child especially a five year old."
"I think maybe Ill talk to Giles and see what he says. I just wish I knew what I could do. I knew that she would want to know about her father one day, but I didn't know it was going to be so soon. It breaks my heart knowing she will never know how wonderful he was, or how protective he was of her, or us for that fact."
"It still hurts doesn't it?" asked Angel
"Every day, it gets harder and harder to live. The longer I'm without him the longer I feel empty and I wish I could bring him back, but with no body or remains there isn't a way for me to bring him back."
Angel looked down at the floor. He had a certain feeling inside, he didn't want to tell Buffy, but at that moment, he just couldn't resist.
"Buffy, what if Spike isn't dead?" Buffy stared wide-eyed at him.
"What?" she asked.
"What if Spike isn't dead? They never found his body or remains. We all assume he's dead, but what if he did get out."
"No. William would've have came back to me. He refused to leave our sides. He told me they would have to knock him unconscious and give him amnesia before he let…" Her eyes filled with tears.
"Buffy, what if the government was trying to cover up suggested Angel."
"NO! Angel, just stop. Don't give me false hopes. Aren't I the one who's supposed to think up these things? Aren't I supposed to be in denial?"
Angel looked down again.
"I'm not in denial, Buffy. They're not false hopes, but you're right. You are the one who is supposed to be suggesting these things, but it doesn't mean that you can deny the possibilities."
"Angel, just stop! Please." Buffy held her hand up.
Her heart was aching to the point she thought about ripping it out.
"No. Just don't say anymore on the subject. If Amber hears you talking about it, she will think it's possible too. I won't put her through that pain. I have enough pain for both us and I would to keep it that way."
"Buffy, you have to let go one day," said Angel
"Well today isn't the day I let go. I will never let go of him, Angel. I will never be able to love another. Not as long as I know, Spike died trying to save us. His memory and his daughter are all I have left."
William walked down the busy Sunnydale Street. He felt a certain familiarity. He felt like he knew the city, but he didn't have a memory of the place. He sighed.
He wasn't watching where he was going and he accidentally bumped into someone. He looked up stunned.
"I'm sorry, mate," William apologized.
The man looked up and stared at William for a second.
"I'm sorry too," The man said.
William studied him. He looked like he was in his mid-fifties. He had glasses and he had a British accent.
"I'm William Sutherland," William introduced extending his hand.
The man took the offered hand and it and shook.
"I'm Rupert Giles," the man replied.
"I can't seem to get a hold of him," Buffy complained.
Dawn sat at the island drinking her juice.
"I knew, we should have got him a cell phone for Christmas," Dawn said in an 'I told you so' voice.
"Dawn," Buffy said in a warning tone.
Dawn sat back in her chair and stared at the island.
"I saw you put up pictures of Spike back up. What made you change you mind about keeping them hidden?" Dawn said in a conversational tone.
"Amber knows her father isn't coming back so I figured why hide them from her. It wouldn't be fair to her."
"Buffy, Angel told me that you are taking Amber to Spikes grave."
"Yeah, I was planning on it, but I'm going to ask Giles if it's the best idea."
"Can I come with you?" asked her sister.
"Of course, Dawn. Why would you ever ask?"
"Because it seemed like a mother and daughter thing." Buffy walked over to Dawn and took her into an embrace.
"Dawn, we are a family. You can always go to Williams's grave with even asking. He was your brother-in-law and best friend."
"Buffy, I miss him."
"I know, Dawn. I miss him too."
William and Giles walked into the magic shop. William followed Giles to the lower level of the shop. He sat down at the round table.
"So you have no memory of what your life was like five years ago?" Giles asked.
"I have two things, which may hold the key to my past. A blonde haired woman and an explosion," William answered.
Giles leaned against the counter his look distant. His memory of the night his sons death, he still could see the building going up in smoke and the sound of Buffy and Dawn, weeping. They all hated the memory of that night; it was like the night Buffy died.
"Hey, are you all right?" William asked getting up from the table and placing a hand on Giles's shoulder.
Giles shook off the bad memories.
"Fine. Just a flash back to my son's death," Giles said absently.
William looked down.
"What? Oh, it was a while ago. His wife was like a daughter to me. He really wasn't my son. He was my adopted son, but he was a son nonetheless."
"Well, I'm still sorry. It must be hard," Said William
"It's probably as hard as not knowing anything about your past."
The bell on the door rang and both men turned. They saw Dawn, Buffy, and Amber walk into the shop. Amber let go of Buffy's hand and ran to Giles.
"Grandpa Giles!" Amber yelled as she jumped into his arms.
He smiled at the little girl.
"Hello, Amber," Giles greeted.
He kissed her tiny forehead. Buffy walked up next to Giles.
"Grandpa, I can do lumpies just like Uncle Angel can," Amber interrupted.
"Amber, what did I say about interrupting," Buffy said in a warning tone.
"Sorry, Mommy," Amber apologized.
Amber looked over at William.
"Who's he?" Amber asked pointing at William.
Buffy looked at William.
He had bright blue eyes that had small round glasses and soft brown hair. He had a casual blue tee shirt and blue jeans.
"Whom," Giles corrected.
Amber rolled her eyes and squirmed a little in his arms. He put her down and she ran over to Dawn.
"I'm William Sutherland," William introduced himself, extending his hand.
Buffy shook it and smiled.
"I'm Buffy Win….Summers," Buffy replied.
William eyed Buffy. She looked like the woman in his dreams, except slightly older and more beautiful.
"My pleasure to meet you," William said, as he took her hand and kissed it.
Buffy blushed. Dawn looked up and yelped. Everyone turned to her.
"Spike?" Dawn asked.