Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, more's the pity, and I cry myself to sleep over the fact that I own neither Draco Malfoy or Westley. Curse the people who thought of them first! But they did, so meh, they belong to JK Rowling and oh god, I can't remember the guy's name who wrote the book. But these characters belong to him. Not me. Damn

A/N   Ok, first things first.  If you haven't watched 'The Princess Bride' then watch it.  Then watch it again.  Then watch it a third time, marvel at your stupidity for not having watched it before, and then join my Wesley appreciation society.  By the way, this takes place at Harry and Draco's last year at Hogwarts, so they are 17/18. no pervertedness here! (much!)

Buttercup:  But Westley, what bout the R.O.U.S's?

Westley:     Rodents Of Unusual Size? I dont't think they exist.  AARGH!  (Wesley gets attacked by bloody huge rat)


Westley:  Draco (well, duh!)

Buttercup:  Harry

Inigo:  Blaise (hehehehe..)

Fezik:  Crabbe/Goyle

Vicini:  Snape

Prince Humperdink:  Lucius Malfoy

Count Rugen:  Macnair (the guy who was going to kill Buckbeak, then turned out t be a Death Eater. Any suggestions as to which Harry Potter character could play Rugen better would be much appreciated.)

Yes there are other characters in the film and book, but I want to use these ones.

And on with the story!

Harry Potter was a fairly good looking young man.  He lived in a castle named Hogwarts, and loved his daily ride on a hippogriff.  However, there was one thing that Harry loved more than this, and that was tormenting Draco Malfoy.  But Harry never called him that.  *Isn't that a wonderful beginning?* 

'Slytherin, get out of my way.'

'As you wish'. 

'Slytherin, piss off.'

''As you wish.'  That was all Draco ever said to Harry.  It came as a shock to Harry one day when he realised that when Draco was saying 'As you wish', what he meant was 'I love you'.  And what came as an even bigger shock was the day that Harry realised that he truly loved Draco in return. 

But Draco's father had given the family fortune over to Lord Voldemort, so Draco was as poor as a church mouse.  Although this didn't matter to Harry, Draco's sense of pride prevented him from proposing that they elope to somewhere a little less rigid r.e gay marriages than England.  So Draco decided to go and seek his fortune at Durmstrang. 

As he left, Harry expressed his fears that something would happen that would prevent Draco from coming back to him.

'Hear this now' said Draco.  'I will always return for you.'

'But how can you be sure?' Harry was in tears by now.

'This is true love. Do you think this happens every day?'

Six months later Dumbledore called Harry into his office.

'I'm afraid I have some bad news.'

Harry looked at the Headmaster, knowing immediately what he was about to say.  'No, please don't tell me that.'

'I'm sorry, Harry.  When the students at Durmstrang found out that Draco had no money, and that he was there to sell his possessions on the Black Market, they grew enraged, and stabbed him.  He died at the scene.  There was nothing anyone could do.  I went there as soon as I got the owl, but he was already gone.  Nobody knows where the body is.'

Harry fled.  He ran and ran, without knowing where he was going, until he found himself outside his dormitory.

He went and sat by the fire, and neither slept nor ate for days.

'I will never love again.' 

A/N  ok, what do you think? I'm not convinced that this is any good!! Let me know your opinions! I'm not doing that irritating thing where an author refuses to write more unless they get reviews, but i'm just not sure this is worth carrying on! there will be more when i can write it, unless i get a load of reviews tellin me to leave it alone!