Author's note-  This fic takes place in now-a-days (Irken world) –and- a looooong time ago… pre-history.  This fic was a way for me to express my ideas on irkens in all of their goodness… and to write a tallest fic for my girlfriend…  Irkens and stuff (you know what I mean)  belong to Jhonen Vasquez.  The names Sorun and Teir belong to KA Rose, blueflies and bloodfruit (which will be later on in the fic) belong to DibsLyn, and Jer (who I've re-named to Jerran) belongs to Hopelessparanoidromantic.  Whew!  What a mouthful.  Oh yeah, the last note on copyright:  The technically belongs to Nick and Viacom, but they can kiss off, because they abandoned Invader Zim in all it's goodness.  This fic will have Sex, drugs, violence, death, slash, AND it's EDUCATIONAL!!!  I hope you like it…

A book… a real book… with real paper made from –real- wood.  Sorun can certainly be a pain sometimes, but the gifts are sure nice!  Teir examines the front of the book and nods before opening it and beginning to read…

On the pink and purple horizon, the blue sun slowly rises into the skies of the presently un-named planet known as Irk.  The green eyed male we will be following, whom we have named Nerraj looks with boredom into the plains just beyond the borders of his dry jungle home.  The air is warm, and will soon become maddeningly hot, though Nerraj is an Irken, and is used to the heat.  He hides beneath the great heart-shaped leaves of the Sikkas plant, and waits for signs of movement.  A rustle is heard in the foliage behind him and he turns his head to look with a soft grunt of unhappiness.  A pair of red eyes looks out from the bush and a head slowly follows.  The tiny creature's antennae lay flat to its head in a submissive position to the larger, more dominant male, hoping to not anger him more.  This little service-drone sized Irken (whom we will also be following) we have named Zarim.  Nerraj snuffles as his antennae bob forward, then slowly lay back down into a relaxed position, signaling to the little Irken that it is safe to pass, and that he will not invoke his wrath.  Zarim quickly scampers by on all fours, his redisp *1* carefully folded upon his back, in case he should need them. 

Tier looks up from his book, "Wait a minute… redisp?  I thought this was before we invented the redisp…"  Perhaps we used to have –real- redisp?...  Nah… This professor is probably just making it up… Tier then looks back to his book Unwritten Histories of the Irken Way and continues to read where he left off.

Nerraj watches Zarim as he hustles down the hillside toward the flats of the plains looking for food.  Nerraj watches with a little more interest now, because he must be concerned for the safety of the little one, after all, that's his duty to the colony.  That, and the red eyed creature is far more interesting than looking over a plain of plants and the wasteland just beyond.  Zarim's antennae wave in the wind along with the pink plants with purple plumes that fill the land surrounding himself.  He is very concerned of today, for not only is there the constant danger of the Xen, but there is also his task at hand to gather food.  If he does not please the taller Irkens, he will surely be scolded.  His antennae search for danger, his eyes shine in the rising sun as they search for food, his mind is sharp as he searches for something worthy enough to impress that blue eyed female he spotted yesterday...  something that will win him as her mate.  He jumps at the sound of a bluefly buzzing away, and briefly looks back to Nerraj for re-assurance.  Nerraj looks bored at the red eyed little one below him.

            Zarim walks deeper into the prairie, he spies a pair of Mikto beasts mating and he stops to watch for a while.  There are four of the creatures, each weighing about one pound.  The three males circle around the female in question and smell her, the one male with the most dominant stripes on it's back mounts, and the other two notice Zarim and scatter back to their burrows.  The mating pair notice him, but do not move, for they know that Irkens are not too dangerous unless starving, and their current business is far too important.  It seems to Zarim that everything is in mating season now, and his mind wanders back to the female he wishes to impress. 

            Not too far into the dry jungle lies the colony of Irkens.  Deep in the center of these creatures hides the nest of the queen.  The purple eyed queen waits patiently for her favorite drone to awaken as she grooms her glimmering wings and watches the tiny blue eyed female tend her eggs.  This female, not much more than three lengths tall, we have lovingly named Atip.  Her antennae bob up and down in frustration as she quickly moves from one egg to another, rotating each as needed, removing all dust and particles from the shells, and checking to make sure that each is in otherwise perfect condition.  This current task is not difficult enough to her to cause her to become frustrated, but rather the cause for her irritation is the sleeping form of the rather large crimson eyed male in the nest.  Drones do not normally stay so close to the nest, but this one is the favored drone and is therefore allowed to stay.  This does not however, ease Atip's worry, or the worry of the many other small Irken's tending the eg-

The book snaps shut.  "Queens?  What does this professor think he's doing?  Writing a history or a fiction?  Queens… nonsense."  Never the less, Teir stands to go to the cooling unit to get himself some food, and he is struck with a horrible vision of tiny striped burrowing animals mating in a field.  He places the food down in disgust and walks to his desk to begin work on the writings for the revision of the Irken-Jacker treaty.  A tallest's day is never done.  The purple eyed scholar soon becomes bored and curses the name of Sorun into the air for not bothering to help with this damn treaty.  He glances back to the book on his bed, and decides it would certainly be more fun that work… as long as there are no more tiny animals doing squicky things.  He takes the book from his bed and sits at his desk again to continue reading.

            Runos opens his deep crimson eyes and stretches, startling the smaller Irkens in the nest.  The queen looks to him with interest.  He scans the area and grunts a threat to Atip, who is too close to –his- queen.  Atip quickly scampers away, not wanting to anger the drone that is easily ten times her size.  Runos looks up to the queen and proceeds to fill her.  Atip and the rest of the small Irkens leave the nest to complete other tasks, not daring to disturb the couple.  Atip walks toward the food stores to begin organizing them so that none of the food will go bad.  The oldest of the food must be eaten first, and the newest last.  After she tires of organizing the food, she gathers some of it and carries it to the smeetery; the place in the colony that contains the hatched eggs.  A male and a female Irken sit hunched over at the foliage created entrance of the smeetery.  They snuffle as they inspect her to see if she is able to enter such a precious place.  She is allowed to pass.  She blinks as she enters, and looks to all of the tiny crawling things before her.  They are the most wonderful things in the world to her, eggs coming in second.  She flops down into the soft and warm sands and begins to hand out the food the the smeets that need it the most.  She then plucks one of them off the ground and starts to groom it, carefully running her three claws over its skin to remove the fine layers of dead flesh and dust and dirt from the young in her lap.  It flails, she makes a calming clicking noise with her throat, and the smeet relaxes to allow her to clean him.

            While Atip cares for the smeets, we focus our attention back to Zarim, who's attention is lost from the blue eyed female in his mind, and is now onto the task of finding food.  He searches for bright orange berries hidden in the stalks of the plants around him.  He also digs in the dirt for the precious gegreb roots.  The white balls just above the ground indicate to him where deep beneath the soil awaits the spotted yellow vegetable.  This food is difficult to find, and even more difficult to dig up, therefore would be a nice treat to offer the female he has in mind.  Once he has gathered a gegreb root and several berries, he finds that he cannot carry any more, and begins heading back home, carrying the food in both hands, and walking with the assistance of his redisp.  On his way back, he notices a pikni beast and thinks of how nicely it's plumage would softly line a nest.  The better the nest, the more likely the female is to be impressed.  Not willing to spoil the food by dropping it onto the ground, he slides it into his pouch to keep it safe.  He then crouches low to the gr-

Teir stops reading and stares at the ceiling for a moment while closing his eyes.  That is far more disturbing than the mating fuzzies.  In his –pouch-?!?  I would think –that- would spoil the food more than the dirt!  What does this author think he's writing anyway?  Unwritten histories?  How can they be in a book if they're –unwritten-?  Well, obviously this is guesswork of pre-history but… Teir then looks to the name of the author with a bit of suspision.  'Professor Kilem'… "Oh gods!"  Teir stares in horror as he realizes he's reading a book written by his own history professor.  Now I've –got- to read it… Teir's mind contemplates blackmail as he opens the book yet again.

He carries the fuzz back to the colony, happy with himself on his first kill.  Behind him, miniature bugs pick up the scent of fresh blood and flock to the now fuzzless corpse laying amongst the plants.  Zarim crawls back up the hill toward Nerraj, who is now watching with complete interest.  He has never before seen an Irken so small be bold enough to make a kill… even if it wasn't a challenge.  He briefly stops the red eyed Irken and presses his antennae forward to smell this oddity.  Musk.  Certain musk.  Nerraj softly grunts his discomfort to this competition, but allows him to pass anyway.  As Zarim continues on, Nerraj looks to the sky restlessly.  He lazily watches as a peaceful Skitra flies overhead to scout the land.  Nerraj waits impatiently for his relief to come.

Zarim enters the colony and walks through the tunnels made from various plant materials.  He finds his way to the food stores and removes the berries to deposit them there.  He then finds his way to a tiny hole in the colony, which leads to his own personal nest to deposit his new found treasure.  He then grunts in anger at the fluff and fuzz and plant material in his nest as he tries to organize it… tries to make it comfortable… to make it perfect.  If it's not perfect, then it's not fit for a female, and she will never accept him.  Once his nest has been organized, he then removes the gegreb root from his pouch and begins to groom himself.  If he should find that female again today, he will need to be perfect also should she decide to take it far enough to inspect him.  He must be a good healthy and clean male with a good nest!  Oh, the worries of his little mind.  Once he has picked, scratched, and licked himself spotless, he then takes his root and goes out in search for the female in question.

Atip has finished with the smeets and is now heading her way back to the queen's nest.  Surely the drone has exhausted himself by now, and it is once again safe to tend the eggs.  On her way, she is being followed by Zarim, who has now spotted his pursuit.  He quickly scuttles in front of her, then stands on his hind legs, stretching himself up to show his height over her, only to realize that she is taller by a few marks.  Her blue eyes run over his body, then up to his antennae to read for any sort of body language from the most expressive organ on the Irken form.  He is determined and will not allow his inferior height to discourage him.  He presses his antennae forward in a show of dominance and holds out the root as an offering.  Her antennae drop back slightly at the show of power and she eyes the rare treat offered to her.  She then quickly snatches it out of his claws and begins to eat it, never allowing her gaze to divert from him.  He takes this as a good sign that he still has her attention and relaxes a little.  Once she is done eating, he clicks in happiness and slowly begins to walk back to his nest, looking back frequently to see if she follows.  She takes interest and walks behind him at a distance.  The closer they get to his nest, the more quickly the electricity pulses through his tubes *2* and his antennae begin to glow a soft blue.  Once they reach his nest, he whirls around and waits for her to catch up.  He then pokes his head into the hole to make sure that it is (still) perfect and safe, then pulls his head out and waits for her to enter, if even just out of curiosity.  She looks to the hole, then back to him, and when he clicks she decides to enter just to see what is so damn important that he wants her to see.

The inside of the nest is filled with medium soft to soft plants, obviously kept fairly fresh so they don't dry and become crispy.  There is also some traces of something softer, which the female cannot identify.  Zarim waits outside for the either the females chirp of encouragement or her to leave.  She chirps.  He quickly climbs inside, his antennae now lighting the once dark nest.  Now in such a small space, she notices his musk and understands his intent.  She leans closer and presses her antennae forward, almost touching his as she now thoroughly examines his body.  She will not mate with an unworthy male after all.  He sits impatiently and allows himself to be studied, moving as she sees fit.  She squeaks in surprise as he pulls his appendage out of his pouch before she is ready or has decided whether or not she will mate with him, but she does not bolt or mar his face.  With one last look at him, she decides that he is acceptable, and lays in the fluff of he nest.  He quivers and his appendage now glistens in the glow of his light as it moves into position.  He climbs on top of her and begins to press his-

Teir slams the book shut with eyes wide.  No wonder Sorun gave me this book… It's no better than porn!  How horrible!  He's doing this on purpose just so that-  Then it snaps in the purple eyed tallest's  brain that the door is locked, and nobody is here…  Teir turns a darker shade of green as he blushes at his thoughts… nobody's here… nobody would notice… He lays down in his bed, pulling a blanket over himself.  Propping the book up against his knees with one hand, the other under the blanket slowly rubbing the slit on his lower stomach.  He manages to begin to read again, if a bit distracted…

Author's note - *1* Redisp is the irken word for what we call 'Spider legs'… I would have just called them spider legs, but I was trying to keep this fic "in the mood" and I highly doubt Irken's have spiders, therefore wouldn't call them 'spider legs'.  *2* It is my belieif (because water is –bad- for irkens) that there is NO water on their planet… therefore they cannot be water based.  We are carbon based life forms… we are also water based life forms, and we run on heat (that why we eat calories… a measurement of heat).  Irkens are aliens, and therefore ALIEN.  I think their veins are filled with a non-water based jell that merely helps to carry electricity, nutrients, and whatever air they breath to their cells.  The tubes are not veins (because veins carry blood).  In my opinion, Irkens are based on some element other than carbon, not water, and they run on electricity.   

And yes, the rest of the flora and fauna… I made them up.  Whee!  Some of the creatures lack a description… patience, it will come in later chapters when they are more vital.  Hehe… don't you hate it when people leave things hanging like that?  In case you are wondering why some parts of "the book" were skipped, it's because you are reading what Pur-*cough* Teir reads… nothing more, nothing less, and he skipped some of the book.  And YES there IS a storyline… this is just the first chapter people!  REVIEW!