Author's Notes: Damn, damn, damn! I'm really sorry about the first part of this fic. For some reason, it turned out all fucked up…Please forgive my cursing, I'm just really, SEVERELY ticked off. First there's the whole, You're-not-allowed-on-the-net thing, and then guess what? We go and get two days off of school. Most kids would be ecstatic to get two days off of school, but I'm not. BECAUSE I CAN'T CHECK MY GODDAMNED EMAIL!!!! So…I snuck on at home while my parents were out and read my email. And it took me about twenty minutes. I got so many frickin' reviews…I'm surprised it was such a hit. Actually, it may not be as clear to you guys, but even though the first Teen Titans fic I posted was an angsty Raven/BB one shot. My real specialty is random comedy. I swear, I'll sit down, like right now, and type and type and the end result is some strange, insane, random, hilarious piece of work that really makes you wonder about the mental state of the person who wrote it. But, about the first chapter, firstly, the whole damned thing wasn't supposed to be one big paragraph. All of those spaces signify the beginning of a new paragraph. I don't know how it got messed up…maybe something happened when it got uploaded. I know that there were a bunch of changes made to the server lately, maybe something went wrong there…Anyway, it was actually supposed to be a one-shot, but I got so many reviews asking for more that I decided to write a second chapter. God knows what I'm going to make happen to them this time, though…I can't tell you, because honestly, I don't know. I'm just going to sit and listen to MTV and try and let something come to me. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. Some of the voices in my head have been on vacation lately. I got a postcard from them a few days ago. Evidently, the weather in Aspen is quite refreshing. (I say this because at my school, which is full of rich snobby "cooler than cool" people that I absolutely HATE, people will go skiing for three day weekends. I mean, come on!) So I've re-uploaded the first chapter, which will hopefully fix the problem. So let's just sit back and enjoy the torture!

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. If I did, Terra would not exist, Cyborg would have a girlfriend, Robin wouldn't be so obsessive, Slade wouldn't act like a pedophile, Gizmo would know some good insults, and Raven and Beast Boy would have multiple episodes devoted to their relationship. With a few dedicated to Robin and Starfire, of course.

Special Thanks:  I haven't received so many reviews for a story, ever. I can't even list everyone who reviewed, there's so many! But I really want everyone who reviewed to know that I appreciated every last one, and without you guys, this part of the story would not exist. It really does matter, you guys. So thanks!

Quote of the Chapter: Raven – A couch potato with a suped up remote. I'm petrified.

Black and Pink All Over – Part 2

by Mint Dragon

Beast Boy, Robin, and Starfire cowered against the doorway, surrounded by Raven's dark form of energy, the cloaked and twitching girl advancing on them slowly.

"Heh. Heh heh. Heh heh heh heh heh…" Raven laughed in a deranged fashion. Robin gulped.

"On three," he whispered, "we split up and make a run for the basement."

"Are you nuts?" Beast Boy hissed, keeping his eyes on their advancing teammate.

"Is she?"

"Point taken."

"One, two, THREE!!" Robin rolled to the side and began to run, Starfire flew overhead, and Beast Boy turned into a wildcat and ran frantically forwards. Raven stood, twitching and laughing, as her three friends dove through the basement doorway and shut the door behind them. She sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. A little peace and quiet was all the she would need to devise a proper torture. Hmm…what's this?

She stared at the TV as pictures flitted across the screen. Then, slowly, an evil grin spread across her face. The kind of grin that would make you pee in your pants and run crying home to mommy. Then mommy would call the National Guard and they would blow whoever was grinning that evil grin to Kingdom Come. That kind of grin.



In the lightless basement, three pairs of eyes shone out of the darkness. One was jade-colored, one was pure white, and one was dark green.

"Dude, what do we do now?" The dark green pair of eyes moved frantically back and forth through the darkness, and then a thud and a cry of "Ouch!" was heard, and they disappeared.

"Beast Boy, are you alright?" The pure white eyes scanned the ground, attempting to see through the darkness.

"Robin, be careful-!" The feminine cry of concern was cut off as both remaining pairs of eyes fell, and black pervaded for a moment. Then a click was heard, and the lights went on.

Beast Boy, Starfire, and Robin were on the ground in a tangled heap, and Starfire said, from somewhere in the jumble of limbs,

"Someone's hand is on my lorblarg!"

"Sorry," Robin replied.

"Well well, what have we here."

Beast Boy gulped, and the three looked up to see Raven standing next to the light switch, a few feet away from them. Her normal look of boredom mixed with amusement once more graced her face, and Robin sighed, relieved.

"Thank goodness you're back to normal, Raven. I was starting to get worried."

"Don't worry. I've got good news."

"You will not be harming us in any manner?" Starfire asked hopefully.

"No. I just saved money on my car insurance by switching to Geico."


"We're screwed, aren't we."

"Beast Boy, you have no idea just how right you are..."  


At about ten o'clock that evening, Cyborg had finally run out of Coke and tokens at the arcade, and decided that it was time to do some damage control back at the Tower.

He walked in on tiptoe, but all was quiet. Cyborg walked into the living room, puzzled. He walked around towards the circle of couches, and saw Raven, sleeping quietly, her cloak askew. He smiled and placed it over her as a blanket. The girl had caused enough torture for the day. Best to get on her good side, in case she was still in a bad mood when she woke up. He stood up and looked around. The others were presumably still being tortured. Cyborg smiled.

The metal man decided to check on Robin first. Making sure that he had the camera in his cybernetic eye on record, he walked in. And nearly burst out laughing.

Robin was tied down to a chair, eyes taped open, and his face was a most distinct shade of cherry red. In front of him was a TV, and he was being forced to stare at it. Cyborg glanced at the TV and then winced, looking away quickly. That would have to be pixilated and censored later.

"Dude, I didn't know you were into this stuff!" Cyborg exclaimed, staring at Robin. The Boy Wonder glared at him, a muffled response coming through from the handkerchief tied over his mouth. Cyborg took pity on his teammate and pulled off the handkerchief. Robin took in deep, desperate breaths.

"Turn it off!" he gasped.

"Why should I?" Cyborg challenged, smirking. "You seem to be…enjoying yourself."

"Cyborg!" Robin groaned. "Please!"

"Fine, fine," Cyborg conceded. "One question, though."

"Ask already!"

"Exactly how is this torture? You are straight, right?"

"Of course!"

"Then how?" he prompted, smirking.

"You wouldn't understand! You're made of metal!"

"And you're not. I still don't get it."

"I'M WEARING SPANDEX!" he screeched. Cyborg flinched with understanding, then quickly turned off the television and unbound Robin.

"Note to self: Do not piss off Raven." he muttered as the Boy Wonder rushed off with a strange combination of a bunny hop and a penguin waddle. Shaking his head, Cyborg walked towards Starfire's room.

He knocked, out of habit, and then walked in. Starfire was in a similar position as Robin had been, bound to a chair, eyes taped open, and a television in front with something on. This one was accompanied by more…familiar…sounds. Not that it made them any more welcome. Starfire's eyes were wide, and the one that wasn't taped up was twitching convulsively. Cyborg winced at the thought of five hours of such torture, and so took mercy on the tall girl and untied her. As soon as she was free, she blasted the television into wreckage. And then blasted the wreckage into more wreckage, etcetera. After five minutes of blasting, she crawled into her bed without a word, shuddering. She was so shook up that she actually put her head on the pillow, instead of her feet. Cyborg pitied her. Her nightmares would certainly be haunted by images of the purple and green dinosaur that played with children and sang songs of love and family that would grate against your brain until you were driven insane.

With one victim left to save, Cyborg took his time. Waltzing merrily down the hallway, whistling, he burst open the door, and found Beast Boy in exactly the same position that the other two had been in. There was a steady drip of drool coming from the little green boy's mouth, and his eyes were bloodshot. Frowning with confusion, Cyborg walked around to the back of the chair and tried to find what was so horrible about what the boy was watching. It was, after all, nothing but a documentary on the Beast Boy's favorite food. Of course, eight hours of it was a bit of overkill, but… After a few moments he gave up, untied the boy, picked him up, put him on his bed, and walked out, sighing.

That night, Cyborg went to sleep with a strange sense of fulfillment. Now, I wonder why that was…

The next morning, Cyborg woke up with a yawn and made his way out to the kitchen. Beast Boy was screaming and hiding underneath the table from the small white cube on the plate on the table. Robin was asleep in his bowl of cereal, wearing a blue t-shirt and jeans. His spandex was conspicuously absent. Starfire was nowhere to be seen. And Raven…

Raven was happily sipping a mug of herbal tea on the couch, apparently back to her normal, indifferent, morbid self. Cyborg grabbed a piece of toast with jam and sat down next to her.

"Where's Star?" he asked.

"She said something about destroying an evil purple monster that sings somewhere." she replied tonelessly. Cyborg sighed and stood, finishing off the toast.

"Guys, let's go. I think there's a purple and green dinosaur that needs saving."

When none of them responded, Cyborg looked down at Raven. She blinked, and then continued to sip her tea. Her large teammate clapped a hand to his forehead and sat down, picking up a controller and turning on the Gamestation.      

"What am I saying…" he muttered as he began to play.

Raven smiled as she heard from far, far away screams of pain, horror, and quite possibly, burning dinosaur.

Happy Valentine's Day!


Woah…**looks back over what she wrote** I am sick beyond all imagining… Oh well. I hope you enjoyed that. Now, I think I have that therapist's business card here somewhere…

-Mint Dragon

PS – I just found out what the problem was. I tried uploading a word document, and that screws it up. I have to save it as a webpage first. Well, now I know. I have a little bad news though. I won't be updating Payback until the end of the month, when I get internet back. I'm still working out some stuff on it. But I will be posting one or two one-shots, so keep me in mind!