Uber Secret Diaries

By: Hakai

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Naruto related. And the idea of "secret diaries" was first brought to be attention wilst reading "The very secret diaries of.." By Casandra Claire [?] it was a lord of the rings fic. I just took the idea and turned it into a Naruto thing. Casandra Claire, if you're out there, I hope you don't mind. ^^;

A/N: I am a big fan of KakaSasu, so it was hard to sway away from the two. I think at times I put too much invasive on them. I had to re-write it, and even then I think I still talk about them too much. l0l. Maybe I'll write a KakaSasu fic one day. Hahaha.

Uzumaki, Naruto:

Day one: graffitied on mountainside monuments of past Hokages. Iruka-sensei caught me. Phooey. Iruka-sensei super sexy when angry. Probably why did it in first place.

Later: failed in art of illusion and apparition. On plus side Iruka-sensei took me out for ramen.

Still not Hokage

Day two: two words. I HATE HENGE NO JUTSU. Ok, so maybe that's more than two. Perhaps that Mizuki ain't such a bad guy. Offered to help me pass.

Day three: correction. Mizuki=bad guy. And apparently have connection with… a fox? On other hand, passed exam. Thank you Iruka-sensei! Passing me and then treating to ramen?! Whad'ya say we just get hitched?

Still not Hokage

Day four: met bratty kid. Apparently bratty kid is grandson of Hokage the Third.

Later: bratty kid following me around. Wants me to teach him jutsu so he can defeat Ebisu? Ah well, ninja centerfold should do it.

Day six: first day of official genin stuff and am stuck with pretty boy Sasuke. Sakura is here, so not as bad. Some jerk pushed me and ended up kissing Sasuke. Mmm… kissing Sasuke… I mean…! stupid Sasuke! Mouth has been poisoned!

[Note to self: never rinse mouth again]

Later: new teacher was last to show up. Late. Figures. Kakashi-sensei. Looks stupid. Obviously digs Sasuke. Ch' good luck trying to get through to that heartless bastard.

[Note to self: must learn kanji]

Still not Hokage

Day seven: fight with Kakashi-sensei not go as planned. Passed in end however and Sasuke showed nice side by offering his lunch.

Uchiha, Sasuke:

Day one: passed genin exam with ease of course.

Day three: Sakura following me around again. As if I can't see through her pitiful attempts at hiding. Stupid big forehea-- ::ahem:: I mean big HEADed girl. As in big ego. I mean… aww hell.

Day five: stupid Naruto. Kissing me like that. wasn't prepared at all! I mean…::ahem:: apparently skill no longer required to become Jounin. New teacher looks dopey. In a cute way though… damn. Must remind self that am not interested in relationships. Am not interested…

Day six: new teacher more skilled than looks. Almost grabbed one of his balls-I mean bells. Damn. Why'd he have them so damn close to crotch? Suspect is closet pedophile. Attacked him knowing he'd sit on me. Am sucker for pain from good looking mysterious shinobi.

Haruno, Sakura:

Day one: passed exam. Took usual route of Sasuke stalking. Wonder if he saw me? Nah.

Day five: Stupid Naruto. Stupid NARUTO! We does he get to kiss Sasuke? Hope he bleeds to death.

Later: met new teacher named Kakashi. Obviously digs Sasuke. No way is he gonna get him before me. No way!

Day six: suspect there is reason that Kakashi-sensei put the bells so close to crotch. No, no, no. must get mind outta gutter. In any case we all passed his test. Phew.

[note to self: seeing bloody and dying Sasuke = very scary]

Hatake, Kakashi:

Day one: did not want to instruct stupid kids, did not. Saa.. Lord Hokage knew he had me when he said would be able to get outta village and keep busy. This could be a terrible mission, but… must get away from angry ex-boyfriend. Iruka ::shudder::

Day two: assessment on group seven: Sakura; more interested in love than ninjutsu. So why is she here? After MY Sasuke? ::ahem:: Naruto; ramen, ramen, ramen. What can I say, that boys got three things on his mind: ramen, becoming Hokage, and Iruka. Have suspicion he may be after MY Sasuke as well. Must make more observations. Last, but certainly not least, MY Sasuke: what can I say? As hot and cold as ever. Love oxymorons. Also got to laugh hysterically as confused their little minds with ideas on exercise to come.

Day three: take it back, was GOOD idea to place bells near crotch. Got to scare the pants of Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura. Hm… not a bad idea…scare the pants of them… was very good day, indeed.