This story is based on a challenge by ataraxis [formerly goldenpaw].
Scenario: On Valentine's Day, a mysterious box of chocolates in the shape of a heart appear to both Severus and Harry, it doesn't matter who sent them or why, you can fill that in however you like. The following phrase must be included: All it takes is one chocolate. That one piece of chocolate you have just eaten will make you spout a heartfelt truth to your one true love and this spell lasts for 24 hours. That phrase will magically appear on the box after the first chocolate is eaten.

Chocolate Truths, Calamity Ensues
Chapter 1: Socks and Misplaced Chocolates
by SeparatriX and ataraxis
with a special guest apparence
by taran_swann

Planning for the perfect revenge against the headmaster took Harry and Severus many a night over the next month and a half, for on some of those nights no real planning had taken place. Ideas had been tossed out and then tossed aside as being either too ridiculous and frivolous and would leave no lasting impact upon their mentor, or instead were too serious and harmful. They loved the old man dearly, but they had become fed up with his meddling and were now going to take action to make him cease and desist. They were slowly running out of interesting ideas and it was now the day before Valentine's Day -- the day they had planned to take retaliation.

That evening found Harry Potter and Severus Snape sitting in Snape's chambers, drinking tea and playing chess, still at a loss as to what to do to exact revenge from the headmaster.

"We've spent nearly a month and a half trying to find the right plot to get even with the headmaster, and we're still no closer to having something concrete to spring on him tomorrow." Harry contemplated the board before moving a pawn forward. "Maybe choosing Valentine's Day as our deadline was a bit ambitious?"

"No, we will think of something. Something very appropriate and would definitely hit Albus right in those twinkling eyes of his."

"Something below the belt, but not harmful, you mean?" questioned a dubious Harry.

"Yes, something below the..... Merlin, I have it!" exclaimed an excited Severus.

Severus sat for a few minutes formulating exactly the revenge he felt was perfect for the old wizard.

"Well, what is it?" asked Harry as he waited several moments after the other man's exclamation.

"Patience! I'm thinking!"

Harry sat back in his chair and huffed. He really hated it when Severus got like this sometimes. Harry started tapping his foot against the cold stone floor, as he continued to wait while Severus contemplated his new idea.

Severus rolled his eyes. "Must you do that?"

"I wouldn't have to do this if you would just hurry up!" Harry glared at him and stopped tapping. "Does this suit you, Your Highness?" Apparently, Severus wasn't the only one who could do snarky. Harry seemed to have learnt from the master himself.

"Highness?" Severus repeated with a raised eyebrow and a mischievous glint in his eye, before sighing and leaning forward in his chair. "Fine, I think I have it all planned now. Listen up and listen carefully. I'm not going to repeat this."

Harry leaned forward and placed his elbows on both sides of the chess board.

"What does Albus desire above all else, including those blasted lemon drops of his?" Severus looked intently into Harry's eyes, while his own sparkled with mischief. That look actually gave him pause for thought, making him think Severus wasn't that far off from being like Albus after all.

Harry gave this some thought. Thinking back in all of the time he had known the headmaster, there was one thing he could recall that the headmaster desired more than anything. And it all came clear to him.

"Meddling?" Harry responded with a grin. Severus gave him a look that clearly said, 'No, you dunderhead!' He continued to think about it.

"Well... He does seem inordinately fascinated with socks."

"The man isn't just fascinated with socks, Harry. It goes well beyond obsession. There really is no word to describe Albus' love of socks. The man probably has more socks than the entire population of the school combined."

Harry snickered, remembering his first year and the conversation he'd had with the headmaster in front of the Mirror of Erised. "You know, I think you might be onto something, Severus."

"I know I am. What I have planned will definitely give Albus pause for thought the next time he thinks about meddling with us."

"So tell me, what IS the grand plan, and when do we implement it?"

Severus leaned forward and in a conspiratory tone began to outline the plan to Harry.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the castle, a slightly mad, meddling old geezer was bribing some house elves for a favour. "Dobby, this box goes to the place before Professor Snape and this one is for Harry Potter."

While the old wizard was conspiring against Harry and Severus, the snarky duo put into motion their revenge against the headmaster.


Valentine's Day dawned with a rosy sky befitting the day itself.

Neither Harry or Severus had gotten much sleep the previous evening, after their nightly excursion to the headmaster's office and to the Room of Requirement. Both groaned as the sun filtered through there respective window and wanted to turn over and just ignore the day. However, Ron wouldn't let Harry get any peace that morning, for he could hear the excited chatter of his friend talking about what he had gotten Hermione for that day.

For Severus, his morning was interrupted by Minerva. Apparently after Albus was bitten by a pair of his socks, he ran to her to complain. In turn, she had suspected who the culprit was behind this event and went to Severus to rant at him.

"Now, Minerva. What makes you think I know anything about Albus' socks? Why not ask Lupin? He was a Marauder, you know...?" Severus stifled his laughter as he denied everything.

"Don't pin this on some innocent. This reeks of your involvement, Severus. I know you were upset by his high-handed meddling and that you swore to get back at him."

"Meddling? Whatever do you mean, Minerva?" Severus kept his expression as innocent as he could, while internally he smirked.

Minerva just sputtered at Severus' continued denial of involvement. She straightened herself. She would not allow him to get the better of her. "Tsk, tsk." Minerva shook her head and turned on her heels. "I will get to the bottom of this. Severus Snape, acting like a naughty child...who would have thought," she muttered as she left.

Since he was now awake, he would get ready for breakfast. He definitely wouldn't miss Albus' expression and possibly bare feet for anything.


Little by little, students and staff began to trickle into the Great Hall for breakfast. The only noticeable exception was the headmaster, who had never been late for breakfast before. No one noticed the look shared between one snarky Potions Master and one snarky Gryffindor. Except, perhaps for the very astute Minerva McGonagall.

As soon as everyone has settled and before the breakfast was served, a heart shaped box appeared before each individual in the Great Hall. The level of chatter amongst the students increased almost ten fold at the appearance of these little red boxes. It was the official start of Valentine's Day. As the owls started to fly in with special valentines for sweethearts, Albus entered the Great Hall looking disgruntled and very put out. Harry looked up and saw Hedwig flying towards him, carrying a fairly large package. When Hedwig started to land, Harry shoved his box of chocolates into Ron's hands to make room. Albus had been walking towards the Head Table when he noticed this and tried to make a mad dash at Ron to jerk the chocolates out of his hand, but he was too late. Ron had already ripped open the box and tossed the lid aside and dived into the sinfully sweet looking creations inside. There was nothing he could do now, but watch and wait as the youngest male Weasley would start to spout heartfelt truths to his one true love, whom he assumed would be Ms. Granger. Albus slapped his hand against his forehead and headed back to the Head Table.

While the owls had been arriving, Draco Malfoy had already opened his box and had eaten all the chocolate that was inside. Draco wanted more, demanded more. But unfortunately all the others at his table had also devoured theirs. He had noticed, however, that his Head of House was looking at the box of chocolates like they were poison, so Draco felt those chocolates should be his. Draco felt it prudent to go up to the Head Table to talk to Severus and to relieve him of his unwanted gift.

Albus could only watch as a sneaky hand reached forward and slid Severus' chocolate off his table and into the folds of his robes.

He watched as his entire plans for bringing Harry and Severus together, once and for all, fail. How could such a brilliant plan go so tragically wrong?