Disclaimer - Don't own.

Rating still R for that delicious sexual stuff and bad words!


Pyro sat, playing with that paddle-and-ball thing.. He was so bored that he had sunk low in his chair and was drooling without knowing it.

"Why are you still here, Scooter? I thought you were a team leader.." Scott made a face.

"I think this is my punishment for slacking off in the Danger Room." Pyro tried to hold it back.. he really did. He burst out laughing. Scott twitched.

"YOU!? Slack off? As if, mate!" The Aussie was having a hard time breathing. "I think you went an' bruised my lungs."

"I didn't do anything." Pyro threw the paddle-and-ball thing at 'Scooter'.

"Crikey, you're even lyin' now!"

"N-No.. I wasn't!" St. John got up and grabbed his crutches, chasing.. or should I say hopping.. after 'Scooter', trying to hit the 'leader' in the head with one.

"Get back 'ere, Scooter!"


Rogue was bent on hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor with a scrub brush then dunked it in sudsy water. Remy was cleaning up the counters and cupboards with a rag and soapy water.

"This would be one of the good times for a soapy water war.."

"Don't you dare think about it, Remy. I ain't cleanin' water up after this." He frowned.

"But then everythin' would be easier to clean up."

"I ain't takin' another shower! The answer is no!" They stayed silent and Rogue furiously finished up the floor. She then looked at her wet clothes and stood up, bringing the bucket of water with her to dump in the sink. "When ya finish, change your clothes then we can go rent a horror movie or something."

"Really?" He perked up and started cleaning more eagerly. Rogue had already cleaned up the mess they made in the bathroom and the other rooms they had to walk through. She changed into a pair of jeans that had big holes where her knees were and frayed bottoms with a long-sleeved black shirt. She mumbled obscenities as she marched down the stairs. Remy was no where to be found and she went out into the kitchen. She looked at their handiwork and smirked. So shiny she could ALMOST see herself.

"Too bad that'll never happen again." That was when she felt arms circled around her waist.

"Guess who."

"Hmm, I'm here with one other guy so I wonder.. Could it be.. Scott? Nah, he doesn't have a Cajun accent. Hm, who has a Cajun accent and has poor French..?"

"Poor French!?" He twirled her around, "I'll show you 'poor French,'" And with that, his lips devoured hers. Oh, yes, he taught her. Well, not really. He nibbled down on her lower lip and that was it. They both dropped to the ground, their lips never parting. "Now, who's boss?" He asked, saddling her hips. He made sure not to much too much weight down or he'd break her in half. Not that he was overweight, she was just very fragile. Although, after earlier, he wasn't believing that much.

"You. But your French still sucks." He leaned forward, stretching out his back. He hovered above her, placing his elbows on either side of her face for balance and support. With his head just a mere inch in front of hers, he went down, capturing her slightly parted lips. She allowed him to slide his tongue in. Rogue wasn't partial to french kissing but she liked the ways their tongues danced together. When he parted, she sighed, "All right, I lied. You have great French skills."


"And.." She went on, licking her lips, "And.. you're not Scott because he's not a good lay?"

"And how would you know that?" He cocked a suspicious brow. "There somethin' you been meanin' to tell me?"

"Yes. Scott and I have been fucking each other since we first laid eyes on each other. I'm pregnant with his love child. We're gettin' married when he gets back."

He sat back up, still saddling her. "Pfft. Like Jean would allow that."

"So.." Rogue trailed off, wiggling under him purposely. "We've done it in the laundry room, in the storage room, in the garage and in the bathroom, shall we try the kitchen?"

Remy didn't disagree to that one.


First of all, Remy was in pure bliss as he sat there watching a soap opera in Spanish. He was eating non-fat yogurt and had tons of other sweet and delicious fatty foods.

"That will definitely not be good for your figure."

"It will go straight to my ass." He mumbled as he took a spoonful of ice cream from his carton. The carton nearly fell from his hands and he leaned forward, his eyes wide.

"What are you watching?" She attempted to grab the remote but he put it out of her reach.

"No, Marsha! No, don't believe that wild, cheating, violent jerk!" He stuffed another spoonful of ice cream in his mouth. Rogue stared at him then shook her head and went looking for aspirin.

"Como estas?"

"Oh my lord.." She banged her head against the table as she sat down. She didn't know how long she sat there but she heard the door swing open.

"Rogue? Are you okay? Do you want me to do CPR?"

"If you touch me, I will take it upon myself to kill you." She stated, growling loudly enough to let him know that she was serious.

"Rogue, it was horrible.." She lifted her head to his eyes filled with tears and his lower lip trembling.

"Remy, take some of Kit's hormone pills, would you?"


"I hope Rogue doesn't find my hormone pills." Kitty muttered as she walked along behind the gang with Kurt.

"What? Did I miss something? Hormone pills?" Kurt stared at her blankly and she sighed, shaking her head.

"Never mind."


Remy chewed on popcorn and ate ice cream for the rest of the night while Rogue went upstairs and went to bed. She found that men that had problems often found their feminine side when watching Spanish soap operas. She put the pillow over her head and got the sudden idea that maybe if she suffocated herself, she wouldn't need to put up with him. It was bothering her that he had the TV turned up that loud and was laughing almost as loud.

"Rem, if you keep this up, I will literally hit you with a hardcover dictionary until you're smart enough to be admitted into Penn State college." Then she scowled. "Or I will deprive you of something you really need.." With that idea in mind, she pulled the covers up over her pillow-covered head and went to sleep.


"Good morning, sunshine! How did you sleep? Did you have-" Rogue, without even looking at him, reached out and grabbed his throat.

"Shut up and don't speak to me unless you're being murdered by a guy in a purple dinosaur costume." She snarled, giving him a shove out of her way.

"What crawled up your-"

"What did I just say!?" He opened his mouth to protest when she slammed the door of the bathroom right in his face.

"Someone woke up with PMS.."

"I am going to pretend I did not hear that." He shook his head and walked downstairs to prepare them a breakfast of waffles. He remembered the recipe from the Food channel that he watched at 2:30 AM.

"Eggs, butter, flour.." He mumbled the ingrediants as he retrieved them from wherever they were. He suddenly smirked as he looked around the kitchen, "This is goin' to be fun."


It wasn't.

Rogue ran down the stairs and into the kitchen later that morning when she heard the fire alarm going off. She raced into a smoke filled kitchen. "Remy!" She yelled, waving her hand in front of her face as she coughed. "What the hell did you do!? Other than try to burn the kitchen down? Or were you tryin' to kill us? Ugh, will you shut that damn thing up?"

Remy climbed onto the kitchen table and he then blew up the fire alarm.

"Well, that worked." She mumbled, shaking her head. "What were you thinkin'?"

"I was thinkin' it would've been nice to surprise you with breakfast." He snapped unexpectedly at her. Ah, who was the one with PMS now? Remy then walked past her, out of the kitchen.

"Aww, Remy!" She rolled her eyes and walked after him.


"Remy LeBeau! Do not make me break down this door!" Rogue screamed into the Cajun's locked bedroom. "Remy, if you do not open this door I will deprive you of the one thing you love to get from me!" While continuing to scream at the door, Rogue stripped down into only her undergarments. "C'mon Remy, I'm naked! I'm all ready for you." Silence. She let out a frustrated sigh as she unclasped her bra from the front and dropped it to the ground. "One more Rem, and if you don't answer the door, I'm puttin' my clothes back in and leavin'!" She pressed down on the waistband of her underwear.

"What are you doin'?" Rogue twirled around to see an amused Remy standing behind her. She immediately placed her hands over her breasts.

"You asshole!"

He smirked, "I was in your room, Roguey-dear. I didn't want to interuppt you as you screamed and pounded at my door without tryin' to open it."

She glared daggers at him. "I hate you."

"Love you, too. C'mon, let me make it up to you."


"Ooh, a bed?" Rogue asked, eyeing the bed as she was pushed down onto it. "Aren't we adventurous. I have to admit, this feels better than laying on a box of detergent."

"You talk too much." He grunted, climbing on top of her. "I have a present for you." He reached over and handed her a bag as he rolled off her, giving her room to open it. She sat up, her face flushed; she wasn't used to sitting around naked. When she looked inside, her face went red.

"I can't believe you." She said as she pulled out a leash attached to a collar.

He gasped, grabbing it out from her reach, "Wrong bag." He then reached down to the floor and handed her another bag while winking, "That's for later."

"Can't wait." Rogue mumbled, opening up the new bag. Making a face, she pulled out a black leather bra that had a red diamond in the middle of each cup. "What the.." She then pulled out a thong decorated in cards. "Sweet, Rem, really but they really don't match.. Typical."

He smiled proudly, "There's somethin' else in there."

Rogue then pulled out a tub of lube and a small pint sized can labeled 'Chocolate body paint.' "Kinky. Although I have a feelin' the lube isn't goin't to be used to stick a toy car in a condom up your asshole."

Remy pushed the junk off the bed. "Okay, enough waitin'." He pulled off his shirt and immediately went to her lips.


"Mon dieu." Remy mumbled in unison with Rogue who mumbled, "My god," as they collasped under the sheets and blanket of Rogue's bed.

"It ain't even noon yet." He stated, wrapping an arm around her. "Shall we make a record?"

"Of how many times we're goin' to have unprotected sex?" Rogue groaned, resting her arm across his torso. "We can't keep doin' that, Rem."

"Didn't we use a condom the first time?" He asked sheepishly, with a yawn. "And didn't they keep breakin'? We must create enough friction to start a fire." He paused before kissing the top of her head, "I love you, Rogue."

"And I love you." She smiled right as her cell phone rang. Groaning, she pulled away from him and answered it. "Grand Central Station," Rogue muttered in a Southern slur.

"Rogue!" Kitty squealed from the other side, "How ya doin'? Remy making sure you don't, like, drown in the tub again?"

Rogue kicked Remy, "Ya could say that. Actually, I've barely seen him at all the past day and less than a half."

He kicked her back and mumbled, "Yeah right," knowing who she was talking about.

"Really? Wow." Kitty laughed from the other end, "The meeting is tonight. We should be back tomorrow morning but, like, Hank said there was going to be a storm so we might have to wait a while."

"That's too bad." Rogue smiled, glancing over at Remy, who had his eyes shut. "Call me with updates so I don't get worried, ya hear?"

A girlish scream was heard in the background. "Sure thing Rogue but I have to go. Mr. Logan is, like, chasing Pyro around with a death glare and with his claws in the air. Uh-huh! Buh-bye!"

Rogue stared blankly at the phone as she heard a click from the other side. Chuckling to herself, she placed down her cell and turned back to Remy, "Now where were.." She trailed off when she realized he was sleeping. Rogue bit down on her lower lip as she laid down next to him, resting her head on his shoulder. She never went to sleep, she just laid there with the sleeping Cajun.


"You dirty lech!" A slapping sound was heard as it echoed around the mansion. Remy rubbed his red cheek and frowned at Rogue.

"We've slept together, seen each other in our birthday suits, and we've done the horizontal tango over.. god knows how many times! And yet, you slap me when I try to watch you dress!"

"Because you're not supposed to watch a woman dress! It's unethical!"

"Since when have we ever done anything ethical?"

"I give up!" She grabbed whatever she had left to dress with and stormed into the bathroom.

"But, you know I can't resist!"

"That's what makes you a LECH!" He frowned.

"Did the word lech come from the word leech?"

"You're so stupid, it ain't funny." He got offended.

"How did-"

"The word lech came from the word lecher, which is a dirty person who doesn't know how to keep their hands OR eyes to themselves." He considered this.

"That changes everything. It DOES describe me perfectly." Then he frowned. "Are you sure about the lecher thing? I'm guessing they both came from leech and that certainly describes you."

"Just shut your damn mouth!" He knew that by now, she would be blushing a prettee scarlet. He chuckled and got dressed. She came out when he was just pulling his shirt down. He let out a mock scream and attempted to cover his 'breasts'. She gave him a harsh glare and ignored him.

"I'm just protectin' my moobs."

"Moobs?" She dared to ask.

"Man boobs equals moobs. Now, stop starin' at my mooby fellas, you lech."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine by me." She turned around, her back facing him. "Rem, that's a pretty mole ya got on your.."

"Shut up or I'll tell everyone about the heart on your.."

"Shut up."




"A little lower. No, not that low. Now, to the right.. a little more. Ahh. That's it." Rogue let out a sigh as Remy scratched the itchy part on her back. The two Southerners were sitting next to each other on the couch, with Remy's hand up the back of her shirt. After a while, he took out his hand and just leaned back into the sofa. "Rem?"

"Yeah?" He grabbed the remote and started flipping through the stations.

"How many girls have you slept with?" That done it. The TV's screen went blank. He dropped the remote. "If you don't mind me askin'.."

"How many guys have you slept with?" He shot back, "If you don't mind me askin'.."

"Rem, you know I used to be a prostitute, that ain't fair."

Remy chuckled softly at their old joke, "And you know I used to be a drug dealer, Ro'. I'd do anything for a new stash to sell people."

When Remy had first joined the X-Men in his glasses and trench coat, Rogue asked him if he were a drug dealer and he shot at her asking her if she were a prostitute, not knowing about her powers then.

"Truthfully?" Rogue asked, glancing over at him. "You were my first fuck."

"Was I a good fuck?"

"We're still fuckin' aren't we?"

"You were my third." He answered, after a moment of silence.

"Three times is the charm." She gave him a small smile. "Did you tell the other two you loved them and meant it?"

"No." Was his curt reply.

"Am I makin' you uncomfortable?"


"You're lyin'."

"Don't accuse me of lyin' when I'm not." He snapped, leaning forward to grab the remote off the ground. He turned on the television.

"Well, sorry you're so uncomforable about talkin' 'bout old screws."

"Is that how you see it? 'Old screws'? I swear, I've disrupted you, Rogue. You were such a virgin when I got here."

"Piss off." She got up and walked off.


This is the end to another.. interesting chapter.. (cough)

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