DISCLAIMER::: I do not own any characters and if I did, then I wouldn't hesitate to make it slash and since I do not own any characters, sadly they belong to J.K Rowling, so do not even try to sue me or I would not be held accountable for my actions.


SUMMARY: Harry defeats Voldemort and somewhat goes into a morbid depression and falls in love with Draco, whom is not at Hogwarts anymore. Draco is running away from his fears and does not want to face them again.


Chapter 1: No Reason


They say France is the place of love and happiness. But people say a lot of things.........

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Under the moonlight, a hundred miles from Bordeaux was a castle hidden by magic for protection purposes. It was surrounded by a lush green forest and an enchanted lake with a waterfall cascading down from a mountain of trees and fresh water , surrounded by untended willows and wild flowers thirty feet from the castle was an old path leading to the castle. The lake was overrun by weeds and sullen faeries. And on top of the tallest tower was a lone figure. He stared out into the stars and saw the faces of the two people who mattered to him the most. They died yesterday night and he barely found out in the morning by the daily prophet. He clenched his fist in anger and frustration "FATHER, MOTHER!!!" He yelled from the tower of Malfoy castle in France, and into the empty night. "WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME!" He slumped to the floor on all fours with tears streaming down his face. "Why did you leave me?" He started to cry and his tears were coming down so fast until it created a pool of water around him and in the moonlight they sparkled. "Come back, please." Draco hiccuped but the pain in his heart only worsen. His tears continued to splay over his face like a waterfall, making him look like a fallen angel. The house elves continued to stare at the young heir in sympathy. There was nothing they could do to comfort the boy, he threatened them if they came close, so they could only watch him cry and let all his pain out. "Come back....." .


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"Dumbelore!!!" Harry yelled. But he was too late, Voldemort already got him and Harry stared in horror as his mentor slowly fell to his knees and smile at Harry. "NOOOO!!!" Harry screamed again. He ran to Dumbeldore and caught him before he fell flat into the blood-stained dirt. "Don't die, please." Harry hugged Dumbelodore closer, but the wizard wouldn't respond and Voldemort laughed. Harry looked up through his teary eyes.

"Now it's time for you boy." Harry acting on reflex, grabbed Dumbeldore's wands with his only good arm and said the very first spell that came to mind.
"Avada Kedavra!"



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Harry woke up screaming in his bed. He was staying at the Weasly's now, ever since he killed Voldemort three days ago and he couldn't sleep anymore. He still had the nightmares, but the good thing was that Voldemort was killed and Dumbeldore was in a coma. Harry climbed out of the bed and walked to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water. Still on the table was the daily prophet exclaiming their victory over the dark lord. Inside stated that all death eaters were either killed or in prison, among them were the Malfoy's. Harry continued to stare. There were so may dead, because of him and so many severly wonded. And most of them were people he knew, students who he went to school with, friends he made.
"Tonks. Moody, Percy, Fleaur, Viktor, Sirius and those who all died." Harry raised his glass in a toast. "This is for you."


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"No reason to stay, no reason to live and no reason to love." Draco muttered to himself. He laid awake in his parent's bed. His eyes were bloodshot and he gripped the covers tightly. "But I fell every reason to cry, hurt and hate." He snuggled into the pillow. He could still smell their scent. His mother's perfume and his father's masculine cologne. There was a pop by the foot off the bed and Draco knew it was a house elf.

" Go away, I told you I don't want to be bothered." Draco threw a pillow at it.
"Eron very sorry sir, Eron would beat himself later. But Eron has a letter for Master Draco."
Draco muttered incoherently into the pillows. "Who is it from?"

"It's your Hogwarts letter."

Draco got up and looked out the window to the morning sunlight. He forgotten about school. On the other hand, why should he return to Hogwarts, why should he go back to England. There was nothing there and definetly no reason to return, well except for the three large property he now owned. But that was about it and of course the vaults that he came to posses, but he had those here also. "What's the use, I'm not going back. Why should I?" Draco slumped back into the pillows of the massive king size bed. "Burn it."

"Yes Master Draco."
Draco stared into the draperies and into the past, his memories. His last moments with his parents before they sent him here with a port key.


"We'll be there son." Lucius said as he lightly placed a kiss on his head. "Do you promise?" "Of course Draco." Narcissa said as she place her black robe on. "This would be our last goodbye."


Draco felt his tears slide again and couldn't believe that they have died. "I will not say good-bye father, because I don't believe you're gone." But deep down inside, Draco knew they were gone and he couldn't bring himself to belive it. He was alone, truly alone the first time in his life. He had no friends, no more family, he was a Slytherin after all. "I was a Slytherin and so were they....But I'm still a Malfoy and that means....nothing." Draco continued to stare at the picture of them until he drifted off to sleep.


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"Hey Harry, we got our Hogwarts letter." Ron said as he came from the window. Harry dazedly looked up at him, he was still awake. "It looks like Mcgonnagol is the temporary headmistress for Dumbeldore." Ron said as he scanned the letter.

"Look at all this! How are we going to pay for them." Ron said aghast and Mrs. Weasly came into the kitchen, still in her blue flower nightgown.
"Good morning boys." She joyfully said.
"Morning mum." Ron said and Harry nodded a greeting.
"It looks like it'll be a great day today." She beamed at them and started to cook. .


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Draco lazily walked from hall to hall in the castle. He didn't know where he was going until he ended up in the great library, reminding him once again of Hogwarts. And Draco felt a tear slid down. He was weak, utterly weak. He couldn't stop crying for his parents. His father wouldn't want him to drop out of school and his mother would be hysterical if he ever did that, but they weren't here now, were they. So now he had control over his own life, his own path and his own fate. Draco walked toward the only desk that was under a large thirty feet angular window. He sat down and grabbed a sheet of parchment and dipped the quill into the black ink.

Dear Ivan Romanov
I know that you are the headmaster of the Wizardy school in Russia and it comes to my attention that your school is the best when dealing with trifle things. I am sure that you know of the defeat of Voldemort and many of his followers were killed, among them were my parents. And you might've heard that the majority of the Slytherin house in Hogwarts are transferring out to new schools. Mostly to Beaubaxton or Durmstrang. As for me, I wish to be accepted in your school. I have no intention of returning to Hogwarts and if it pleases you, please respond back. As of now, I am alone and would secretly remain so.

Sincerely Draco Malfoy


Draco called for a house elf so it could deliver it to the headmaster himself. Russia, the only place where it was cold enough to match his cold heart and freeze his emotions. His father would want it that way. What better place than Siberia itself, a place of loneliness and solitude. He was an empty shell now and once he moved to Russia, his life would be complete. .


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"Look it's Harry Potter.." Harry head whispers like that ever since he stepped into Diagon Alley with the Weasly's. Some people shook his hand and others bowed and showed their deep respect. But Harry didn't want any of that, didn't they know they should be thanking the people that died not him. He didn't deserve this, none of it. He didn't want anyone's pity or sympathy. He wanted to be normal, like everyone else. Harry wasn't watching where he was walking until he collided with Blaise Zabini, Crabbe and Goyle.

"Sorry..." Harry mumuerd a quick apology. They just looked at him without any insults or hurtful meanings. They looked at him as though he was not really there and that disturbed Harry. He missed their taunts and their insults. Blaise nodded his head at him and left the store with the two beefy kids that were always with Malfoy. Where was he anyway....

"Stupid Slytherins." Ron said from his side. "They can't watch where they're going. And no respect..."
"Leave them alone Ron." Harry said through gritted teeth.
"Wha-Harry, you okay?"


"Just leave them alone Ron. They lost people they love to." Ron looked at him as though he gone insane. "They deserve to be pitied..." Harry trailed off as he remembered an incindent in Flourish and Blotts, right by the stair, where Mr. Weasly and Lucius Malfoy got in a fight. Where Ginny picked up the diary of Tom Riddle.


"Bet you love that didn't you Potter?" Draco Malfoy said with a sneer. "Famous Harry Potter." Malfoy said. "Can't even go into a bookstore without making the front page. "Leave him alone, he didn't want all that!" Ginny said. "Potter you've got yourself a girlfriend!" Draco drawled.


Harry smiled for the first time since Sirius. Malfoy didn't pitied him. Malfoy never apologized and he certainly didn't care if Harry defeated Voldemort. Malfoy saw him as an ordinary person, normal enough to hate. Draco Malfoy, his rival hated him, unlike everyone else.
"Harry..are you okay." Hermione waved her hand in front of his face and he snapped out of his daze.
"Yeah, just remembering things."
"We thought we lost you there, for a bit." Hermione gently grabbed his arm. "Come on, we got your books and ours."
Harry joyously followed, knowing that Malfoy would sneer, insult and taunt him on the train. Harry looked forward to it. Malfoy would never miss a chance to aggravate him. .


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Mr. Draco Malfoy
I have received your letter and offer my deepest apologies. We would be happy to have you here at Rasputa's Institute of Magic. There is a list of supplies you need attached to this letter and I trust you that you'll be joing us next week on August 23, the beginning of the term. I would send a port key in a couple of days, where you would be ported to the train station at St. Petersburg. You would get on at Platform six and a half.
Sincerely Ivan Romanov


Draco left the letter on the kitchen table. He didn't want to sit out in the dining table, it was too big and lonely. The house elves scurried around as they made him a big breakfast, but he couldn't eat without thinking of his parents. He grabbed a bagel and walked out of the kitchen door and into the garden that lead to the enchanted lake. He followed the worn path to a stone bench under a tree and watched the swans, duck and various other animals, circle around the lake. The lake was only enchanted because water sprites and fairies lived by it. He should start making them pay rent. Draco laughed at the idea and startling some creatures at the same time. He'll go to Meryl Village tomorrow for his school supplies, today he would simply try to heal his bleeding heart.


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_____________________________________________________________________ Author Notes::: This indeed was my first slash created so many moons ago and sadly getting it off my computer that my sister stoled was not easy. And read my other stories, I dare you too!!!