A/N: So. Hi everyone. It's been 3-4 years since I've even been around here. Unwilling was my biggest project on this site, and I'm very thankful for all the support it has received and is still receiving over the years. But... Unwilling has also been incomplete this entire time. I was never happy with the ending and so finally it has been re-written in a way I hope can both satisfy... and titillate. Though I'm not really the biggest H/K fan, that pairing was central to the story, so finally, I present to you citrusy H/K goodness!
Thanks again, everyone! I hope you enjoy the new ending! Please review and let me know what you think! (hugs and kisses)
CHAPTER 10: Closure
His red hair hung in front of his eyes as he worked the cork out of the vial. There was no lying to himself that he wasn't using his hair as a rather ineffective shield. Hiei sat silently fuming, now immobile from numbing plants, while Yusuke boiled water in the kitchen. For the few seconds Yusuke was out of the room, Kurama was increasingly tense. It was one thing to sleep with another demon, lie to his lover, and potentially get himself killed. But it was quite another to force Hiei to sit still. The demon hated being held down more than anything in the world. If he wasn't angry before, he was murderous by now.
On the other side of it, Kurama had never been in this position before. The idea of cheating was such a base, human thing. Demons were almost never exclusive. And though that sentiment of exclusivity had made itself apparent in his relationship with Hiei, Kurama was the one who had pushed the idea in the first place. Not that he thought Hiei would ever be with anyone else. That Hiei had even opened up to him was a small miracle he still puzzled over.
He wondered where things would go now. In Hiei's eyes, Kurama had betrayed him. And though Kurama knew he had taken the action he did to protect Hiei, a part of him had enjoyed being with Karasu—be it the merciless, unfeeling, sexually charged side of him, it was still a part of him nonetheless. What Hiei had said after fighting Toguro 'He's had your body, but I saw he had your heart too'. He wanted to ask Hiei about that, if Hiei would still even talk to him.
That was the real fear. Hiei had no reason to stay. It was so difficult to get the little demon to trust him, and it was always a trust that could be easily broken, never mind ripped and shredded as it had been. Kurama's eyes fell unfocused as he remembered, not for the first time--or the last--that terrible expression on Hiei's face when he walked in on Kurama and Karasu together. What would he do if Hiei left him? The horror and the panic at seeing Bui's ax against Hiei's delicate neck rose again like bile to the back of Kurama's throat. He would give his life for Hiei.
But was that enough to make him stay?
Inside Hiei was absolutely tearing himself apart with rage. Still an angry unnamed part of him was seething at Kurama, hurt and confused. But he pushed that part far down, focusing now on the black fury coiling beneath his brow at Youko. The damn kitsune's eyes devoured him as Hiei lay paralyzed on the couch of the apartment living room after being ambushed by the Fox. If the Youko had wanted anything of him, Hiei couldn't have done anything about it. Helplessness was a terrifying prospect, especially with a seven-foot Youko who would have no qualms about taking every liberty with him. Besides that--thankfully Kurama had appeared again before Youko could get too carried away--the fox demon's presence threw Hiei off balance. Why would Youko be here? He knew the demon's spirit was strong and devoid of any good intention, often overpowering Kurama's more human emotions... Hiei made a face. Youko.
His train of thought was broken as Kurama moved beside him, still trying to pull the cork of some bottle that he'd been cradling in his hands. The Fox was hiding behind his hair, something Hiei had rarely seen him do. A whole world seemed to separate them. Once or twice Hiei had even found his hand wanting to bury its grip in those familiar strands and at that moment he was glad for his restraint almost, lest he lose himself and take comfort in the familiarity of Kurama. Who had betrayed him.
He was still mulling that over. He'd never expected the kitsune to remain absolutely loyal to him. On several occasions he'd teased the Fox about his promiscuity with the intention of granting permission to the redhead's sensual nature. But each time he'd brought it up (indirectly) Kurama would catch on and be offended, or at least he would tirelessly reassure him that ever since coming to the human world his ideas had changed. He said he wasn't Youko anymore. The ancient fox demon despised that change, of course.
On any other occasion, his first instinct would be to run, to leave this entire situation behind. And yet Hiei couldn't let go of the feeling that it wasn't Kurama doing this. The kitsune was an honest being, and loyal to fault (the attachment to his mother was a perfect example). He'd give anything for the safety of his teammates, and Hiei knew that he was counted among those people. Kurama didn't hurt others, unless they hurt the ones he… cared for. Hiei's mind skipped over the word love, carefully sidestepping any connection to himself.
So what did he want? He knew before the thought even came to him that he couldn't openly discuss this with Kurama. The stupid kit was trouble enough; Hiei didn't need to start the whole "feelings" thing. He was disturbed enough as it was, being this… attached to the redhead. It bothered him. And even though Hiei was still torn over seeing his lover kissing Karasu, he wanted nothing more than to touch him, run his hands over that perfect skin and thread his fingers through that beautiful hair.
After a while, Hiei had become used to the idea that Kurama would be his only. Though stupid human sentiment like that was a waste of time, Hiei couldn't help but feel quickened when vibrant green eyes would land on his and glint with that indescribable light. He had become accustomed to the feel of silky hair lying across his naked chest, or the feel of a searing hot tongue mapping out his sinewy arms or stomach. It was completely unfathomable that Kurama's window would be closed to him at night, or his arms uninviting, absolutely absurd to think that Kurama wouldn't be waiting for him, worried about him.
If he could have, Hiei would have squirmed. His cheeks were hot, and frustration—with origins he chose to ignore—increased his anger at his immobility.
His fingers itched to sink into that thick red hair.
Though he could feel the holes from Hiei's eyes boring into the back of his skull, Kurama remained outwardly calm. Youko had left him finally, after dumping Hiei none too ceremoniously on the living room sofa. At the sight of Hiei, looking furious yet unable to move, Youko's previous intent to allow Kurama to return control was quashed. His feral sexual energy was still potent after Karasu, and it took every fiber of strength Kurama possessed to stop Youko from pouncing on Hiei (who by that time had regained angry consciousness) right then and there. Luckily the potion was temporary and Kurama was able to force Youko out after a brief inner scuffle.
Kurama took the cork in his teeth and pulled, rewarded with a pop as it came loose. The smell of thick, wet plant bombarded his senses. Holding the bottle delicately away from his face, Kurama avoided Hiei's furious gaze as Yusuke walked in with a steaming bowl and a wet cloth. He set them aside at Kurama's nod and instead helped the kitsune pry open Hiei's mouth. Once the ripe-smelling paste had been forced down his throat, Kurama took the wet cloth and set it against the youkai's neck, again artfully avoiding the heavy black stare of his lover. Granted, that only helped in annoying Hiei more, but Kurama couldn't look at the little demon yet. The last time they'd spoken to one another had been right after the fight with Elder Toguro. The cut on his chest, returned to him once Youko left, still burned.
Everything played out very mechanically: Kurama pouring the nectar of some plant into the water and rubbed it over the cut stretching across Hiei's throat. Yusuke really did little, but he knew that Kurama wanted him there. His presence guaranteed no major repercussions from Hiei. And though Yusuke still didn't outright talk to Kurama about what happened, he knew that all had been squared away with Karasu.
Now Kurama took hold of Hiei's arm, inspecting it under the fire demon's infuriated gaze. "Don't worry," he assured him, "I'll not heal it completely." He knew that his lover had his own plans for this arm.
Hiei's ears piqued at the sound of Kurama's voice, mellow, unaffected. He knew that inside the demon was dying of guilt—Kurama would always burden himself like that. There was a tightness to his otherwise plush mouth that Hiei knew meant Kurama was stressed. For him? What did the redhead think? That he would leave, maybe. Hiei still wanted to run, like always. But the urge to touch Kurama's hair beat out the urge to run. He didn't give that much thought, choosing to focus instead on glaring, still quite pissed at being forced to sit against his will.
Yusuke stood awkwardly for a moment beside Kurama before catching the minute nod the kitsune gave him. Squeezing his teammate's arm, he left the room, shutting the door behind him. In the kitchen, he busied himself with wiping down the counters. Keiko would have a heart attack seeing that he'd cleaned but he needed something to keep him busy while the two demons in the living room sorted things out.
Hiei didn't speak, but his eyes, stabbing like daggers into him, said enough. "I know you aren't ignorant, Hiei," Kurama said, standing a little straighter, "And I could feed you excuses, but I'm sure you've thought of them all already. Just tell me what I should do."
The biting edge in Hiei's eyes dulled. He kept silent as Kurama wetted his hands and moved to rub the medicated water over his arm. The numbing plants were wearing off, and he sluggishly clenched his fist. He'd made a decision—one he believed to be true, especially considering what nefarious demon had brought him here in the first place.
"It was Youko. You're too damned emotional to…" he paused, looking for the words, "…do that."
Kurama stopped what he was doing, lips parted in shock. Warm, wonderful shock. Hiei looked distinctly uncomfortable as Kurama stared at him before shaking his head in disbelief. Then he smiled a little, meeting familiar red eyes. It took all the strength he had not to wrap Hiei in his arms and shower him with kisses, so grateful for his lover's odd and perceptive understanding of their relationship. "He does bring out the worst in me." Carefully he removed the other cloth—now gone cold--from Hiei's throat and wrung it out, the liquid on it stained mottled black. Hiei touched his skin, now pink where the cut had been. "But that doesn't make me any less sor-"
Surprised at being cut-off, Kurama set the cloth down and focused on the smaller demon. "Yes, Hiei?"
"Hn." He reached up and tugged on a lock of red hair, suddenly feeling much more relaxed.
"Ow," Kurama said casually, secretly overjoyed at the familiar move. Hiei had pulled him down so that they were eye to eye. Kurama's stomach clenched a little at the exhaustion in Hiei's expression. He pressed his forehead against the youkai's, closing his eyes as Hiei let out a quiet, shuddery breath.
Yusuke backed into the room, holding his excuse for interrupting (another warm washcloth) in his hands. The quiet that reached him in the kitchen had made him nervous, so he decided to check that Hiei hadn't cut off Kurama's head or something. He turned around, mouth poised for an explanation, when he saw the two demons leaning close together. "Uh..." He stood for a moment, resembling closely a goldfish with hair. Red eyes swiveled over to him, and the fires of Hell burned him right back into the kitchen.
Frowning when his lover drew away, a flare of annoyance rising at Yusuke, Kurama looked into Hiei's face. "It can't be this easy. Hiei," he whispered, eyes firmly fixed on Hiei's collarbone.
Snorting, Hiei rolled his eyes. "I'm not some human female; I'm not going to sit and cry," he said. His fingers wandered up into soft hair again, and vibrant green eyes landed on his and glinted with that indescribable light. And I know you had a reason to do it, he didn't say.
Shizuru had somehow maneuvered it so that Hiei couldn't move. She had trapped him between Keiko and Yukina, allowing herself and Botan ample opportunity to poke and prod at the disappearing cut. Yukina marveled over the improvement of his arm and Keiko even commented on the healthiness of his complexion.
In the kitchen, Kurama and Yusuke sat mulling over steaming cups of tea, both silent and thoughtful. Yusuke had tried to apologize for interrupting earlier, but only managed to blush and stutter. Kurama waved him off.
Yusuke shook his head, smiling wryly. Taking a sip of tea, he snuck a glance up at the fox. "Kurama?"
"Don't ever take my advice again. Peoples' take on 'right reasons' can get pretty messed up. Then it is wrong." Green eyes melted into melancholy understanding. "Wrong for all the right reasons."
He nodded, setting down his empty cup; traces of steam spiraling their way up into the air, gently curling the ends of red hair. Kurama gripped Yusuke's arm and leaned over to lay a quiet kiss on his cheek. "Thank you."
He picked the pearl comb up and began to stroke his hair, watching the glazed white teeth straighten the scarlet tresses, mesmerized. A slight earthy aroma wafted up and Kurama looked into the mirror. The reflection was empty except for himself, and a sigh of odd and uncomfortable relief crept out between his lips. He continued brushing his hair methodically, only the husky whispers from the brush playing lightly across the mirror's surface. Pulling the comb through a tangle, Kurama noticed a stray hair that had become entangled with his own, causing the upstart in the systematic strokes.
Lifting the single black hair from the teeth of the comb, Kurama looked up into the mirror again, and cried out.
The little demon was staring hard at the thin slice across the kitsune's chest. His lips pursed, but he didn't apologize. Kurama brushed the cut with the tips of his fingers, looking up to meet his lover's eyes. Their look only lasted for a few seconds, but everything was understood. They been through too much together, and though Hiei would rather die than admit it, he'd grown close to Kurama. Someone might chance at calling it love, but no one dared.
Even a year earlier, Hiei would have killed him for what he'd done.
Silence stretched taught between the two demons. Hiei picked his way forward, looking for all the world as if the bedroom floor was littered with land mines. Kurama was still seated, his face about chest level to the smaller demon. He opened his mouth to speak, but words died on his tongue as Hiei reached up and cupped his cheek. Then the youkai leaned down and brushed his lips over Kurama's.
A fire ignited within the kitsune, so hot and deep that his heart clenched with the pressure.
"Hiei," he breathed, eyes swamped with unvoiced emotions. His voice wavered dangerously, but before he could continue, Hiei gently placed a hand over his mouth.
"Shut up, Fox," he said, leaning forward again, this time to bite at the redhead's ear. He felt Kurama stiffen in surprise. "I need…" He trailed off, frustrated. His fingers found purchase in thick red hair, tangling and pulling. Kurama's breath caught audibly. Clenching his teeth, Hiei pulled Kurama to him. "I need to get him off you," he growled heatedly, capturing the kitsune's mouth in a vicious kiss, pushing forward hard enough to knock Kurama back into the desk. His lover made a small sound, hands coming up to clutch back at Hiei, pulling on his clothes and scratching at any skin he could reach. Shoving the chair aside, Hiei surged past and straddled the redhead, grinding down hard enough to elicit a broken moan from them both.
Kurama threw his head back, hair a cascading sweep of crimson. Hiei licked and bit at his throat, hands finding purchase on Kurama's thighs, fingers digging into the muscle as the kitsune moaned breathily into the fire demon's ear. "Hiei... Hiei."
He devoured the redhead's mouth, their tongues like flames flickering between them. The passion and urgency was almost painful as Hiei continued to move his hips, knowing even as he held Kurama back with strong hands that the kitsune was going wild.
"Please, Hiei," he nearly whined, moving his hips up to meet Hiei's thrusts, infuriated by the clothing that separated them.
Hiei leaned close, breath hot and wet against the side of Kurama's face. "Maybe I'm punishing you," he said throatily, shoving Kurama roughly back and pinning the kitsune's hands. A beautiful blush had spread over Kurama's face, his eyes glazed over with lust. Hiei could barely hold himself back at the side, mouth watering as Kurama gasped and writhed beneath him, looking for all the world as if he were dying. Hiei clawed his fingers back through red hair, doubling over to bite at hard nipples, eliciting another gasping moan from Kurama.
Through the haze, Kurama remembered something. "Hiei," he said, voice thick with barely contained lust. "Hiei..."
"What did you mean... in the forest with Toguro... that he had my heart...?" His heart broke a little as Hiei sat up, considering the redhead with an unreadable expression.
Hiei then cocked his head to the side, slowly dragging sharp nails over Kurama's chest, mouth quirking as Kurama hissed and arched into the harsh touch. "The way you said his name," he said casually. "It's how you say my name."
Kurama blinked. "Really?" He wriggled, bringing their hips together again. Hiei's breath hitched a little as Kurama reached up and pulled the little fire demon down, licking up his jaw line until he was tickling the demon's ear. "Not like this," he whispered, a smile in his voice. And then he shoved his free hand down in between Hiei's legs and said, voice dripping with sex and promise and love, "...Hiei..."
The fire demon bit his lip, shutting his eyes tightly. The fox's lusty tone seemed to spread throughout his whole body. "Ku-" he started, throat feeling tight. But Kurama kissed him, cutting him off. He kiss was gentle, soft, and everything Hiei... loved... most in the world. Whimpering, he buried his fingers in thick red hair, pulling the kitsune against him tightly.
"No, not like that," he admitted, dazed. Kurama chuckled against his neck. Then Hiei smirked, "But I want to hear you scream it, fox."
Kurama eyes glinted with that indescribable light as he shot his lover an answering smirk, and leaned in to kiss him again.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Please don't forget to review! I would really appreciate it! : )