Come crying to me
Chapter 3: Crying again
A/N: Sorry for the delay, I kept rewriting this piece lol. But turns out I'm really proud of this chapter finally *smiles* hope you enjoy is too.
Disclaimer: I don't own them…
We grew closer week after week. And because I hung out with our friends, Monica would do too. Which made me happy.
Mon's leg was getting better, but the scare remained and she was still often pained.
"Hey Mon", I greeted when I walked into her apartment. She was lying on the couch with her leg up watching a movie.
"Hi", she said lazily.
I walked around the couch, kissed her cheek a plopped down next to her, "here put your legs on my lap". I gently started rubbing her pained leg and she visibly relaxed.
She rested her head on the armrest and sighed, "That feels so good Chandler".
"Good for you cause I'm 12 bucks an hour", I laughed and she tried hitting me, but couldn't reach that far.
"You're too much Chandler Bing?" she scoffed.
"I don't see you complaining though". I added laughing.
She sat up and repositioned herself, placing her legs over the armrest and laid her head on my lap and she started to doze of. I gently started stroking her hair, "you comfortable"? She didn't answer instead warm tears pricked at her delicate eyelids and, as she blinked, they trailed down her cheek. "Mon it's okay to cry, just let it out".
"Everyday I think about that day, hating myself more and more. There's not a day when I'm not crying". Tears trickled further down her face as she grasped my arm tightly.
"It's very normal Mon, you've been through a lot. Give it time honey."
"I've given it enough time Chandler, it's been months. I'm sick of this feeling." She cried out. I pulled her up in a sitting position and she sobbed into my chest, her body shaking. I rubbed her back comfortingly, telling her that it was alright.
The convulsing sobs shook her entire frail form and she hiccuped for breath, "It's not alright, I still have the memories of what happened that day, it's like a nightmare a seemingly never-ending nightmare.
I told her that it had ended, but she shook her head fiercely.
"It cannot end as long as I'm asleep." That was why she hadn't slept at all during all those days after her parents had died. She was too afraid of dreaming.
I thought for sure that my heart was going to break as she said that. Who doesn't want to dream? "I'll stay with you Mon, to help you through the dreams if you want me to." She pulled back from me, definitely surprised at my offer. I fumbled over words as I tried to explain what I meant, and for the first time in days, she gave me a classic Monica Geller smile.
"Thank you Chandler." She held onto my hand, asking me to hold her close for a little while. I did as she asked, making us both as comfortable as possible.
When the clock read midnight, Monica had dozed of again, this time in my arms. I carefully tried to wake her up and she sighed faintly. "Is it morning yet".
"No Mon, it's time to go to bed." I carefully picked her up and laid her down in her waiting bed.
"Don't leave me alone Chandler."
"I won't honey, I will be right across the hall okay?"
She was too far gone to give me a response and just nodded instead. I tucked her in all nice and warm for the night. I softly kissed her cheek and left the bedroom. Before I left the apartment I turned off the TV and plopped back down on the couch for a little bit, to clear my head in silence. I kept thinking about what Monica said and how I wanted to save her from her nightmares. Suddenly I could hear crying and sobbing coming from her bedroom, I pulled myself of the couch in a hurry and rushed into Mon's bedroom.
"You were crying," I said, wrapping her in my arms. Monica sat up with a start, clawing at my hands. The light from a small blue lamp weaved through the dark. She gasped, inhaling deeply into lungs that would not fill, and lay back down on the wet pillow. The damp strands of her hair rubbed against her neck.
I climbed into her bed pulled a blanket over both our bodies and covered her with my chest. I slipped between her legs, warming every surface I could find.
"I hate myself," she said suddenly, mentally screaming at herself to shut up, "I'm scared."
Her words were greeted with my silence. She willed herself to think that this was for the best even though she knew she was falling into her own trap. She cursed herself. And I put my arms further around her fragile body.
"It's all right, Mon." My whisper caressed her ear. "I'll stay like this until you calm down."
She didn't react. She held still, leaning into me hoping I would keep my promise and stay like that for as long as I let her. She loved the feeling of my body against her own. She loved knowing I was there for her. But the trap continued to swallow her like a rabid beast. Her own guilty...
"I miss them so much Chandler."
"I know honey. I know you do, come here." She protested weakly as I hold her closer. My touch searing her skin.
I pressed my cheek against hers. "You are forever fighting Mon, searching desperately for ways to get rid of your guilt." She clamped her eyes tightly. I leaned closer, my voice dropping to a whisper, as if sharing a confidential secret.
"Just lay back, the pieces will fall into place if you let them. I promise." Shifting slightly, I let her weight fall against my chest. "I love you Mon you're a beautiful woman and I don't want to see you cry." I turned her chin to meet my eyes, brushing the fresh tears away with my thumbs. I searched her face intently as I saw a tiny grin creep onto her thin rosy lips. I smiled back in this boyish lopsided fashion, drawing her closer to my chest.
She exhaled audibly, chest rising and falling with relief. I felt her heart thumped low in her chest, content. "So...am I really beautiful?" she smirked coyly, allowing herself to briefly wallow in that guilty pleasure. I nodded.
"I've searched endlessly for ways to kill the pain Chandler, to a point where I had almost given up hope, but it's all so simple." she whispered, finally understanding.
My eyes searched hers desperately, seeking allowance, acceptance. Without thinking I knew she would allow it, not wanting to break the mutual warmth that was flowing so rapidly between us. Raising herself on top of me, she gasped as my lips sought hers almost timidly, waiting for a reaction. My hand entwined in her hair softly, giving her the courage to press her own delicate mouth against mine.
"I love you too Chandler."
AN: this is it? Yes I'm asking you lol I dunno maybe an epilogue but only if you really want me too. Well then leave me a review. Thanks *smiles* it makes my day!