AN: I own nothing and no one portrayed here. "Star Trekkin" belongs to The Firm. I've discovered that doing these little one-shots helps me combat writer's block when working on my longer fiction. Why, I don't know, but hey, if it works, go with it.

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X-Men: X-Trekkin' across the universe,
At the Xavier Institute, under 'fessor X
X-Trekkin' across the universe,
Fighting off a Phoenix, 'cause Jean can't find her purse

Shadowcat, Report: There's mutants off the starboard bow, starboard bow,
Starboard bow. There's mutants off the starboard bow,
Starboard bow, Chuck.

Analysis, Mr. Forge: It's Mags, Chuck, but not as we know him, not as we
Know him, not as we know him. It's Mags, Chuck, but
Not as we know him, not as we know him, Chuck.

X-Men: X-Trekkin' across the universe
At the Xavier Institute, under 'fessor X
X-Trekkin' across the universe
Fighting off that Phoenix, cause Jean can't find her purse

Wolverine Update, Mr: McCoy: He's dead but he'll be up, Chuck, up Chuck, up Chuck,
He's dead but he'll be up, Chuck, up Chuck, up.

It's Mags, Chuck, but not as we know him, not as we
Know him, not as we know him. It's Mags, Chuck, but
Not as we know him, not as we know him, Chuck.

There's mutants on the starboard bow, starboard bow,
Starboard bow. There's mutants on the starboard bow,
Starboard bow, Chuck.

X-Men Leader, Professor Charles Xavier: Ah! We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot
To kill. We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill,
Scott.

He's dead but he'll be up, Chuck, up Chuck, up Chuck,
He's dead but he'll be up Chuck, up Chuck, up.

Well, it's Mags Chuck, but not as we know him, not as
We know him, not as we know him. It's Mags Chuck,
But not as we know him, not as we know him, Chuck.

There's mutants on the starboard bow, starboard bow,
Starboard bow. There's mutants on the starboard bow,
Acolytes, Chuck!

X-Men: X-Trekkin' across the universe,
At the Xavier Institute, under 'fessor X
X-Trekkin' across the universe,
Still we fight that Phoenix, and Jean is getting worse!

Sinister, Mr. Essex: Ye cannae change the laws of genetics, laws of genetics,
Laws of genetics. Ye cannae change the laws of genetics,
Laws of genetics, Chuck.

Ah! We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot
To kill. We come in peace, shoot to kill, Kurty, bamf me
Up!

He's dead but he'll be up Chuck, up Chuck, up Chuck,
He's dead but he'll be up Chuck, up Chuck, up.

Well, it's Mags Chuck, but not as we know him, not as
We know him, knot as we know him, it's Mags Chuck,
But not as we know him, whaddya mean, Joseph?!

There's mutants on the starboard bow, starboard bow,
Starboard bow, there's mutants on the starboard bow,
Better wipe them now!

Ye cannae change the comics, Chuck

It's worse than that it's muffins, Chuck!

Bridge to Cerebro, warp factor 9

Och, if I give it any more she'll blow, 'fessor!

X-Trekkin' across the universe,
At the Xavier Institute, under 'fessor X
X-Trekkin' across the universe,
Takin' down that Phoenix, cause Jean's got PMS