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April 27th, 2005 -- In addition, would like to address a growing problem. For whatever reason, some writers feel its okay to copy-n-paste musical lyrics they have not written into their fiction. If you did not write it, do not post it. This has always been our policy. Please remove these entries immediately to avoid account closure.

D.S.: I removed the song ('My Immortal') I used from this fic because of this message.

I Am Tired Of It!

Inuyasha's Dilemma

People: I am only correcting a few spelling errors, you don't have to reread this!

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or the song

Summary: Inuyasha is getting really fed up of the struggle of choosing Kagome or Kikyo.

I am sick of this tug of war my heart is going through! Damn it! Despite not being physically harmed in all this, I feel as if my soul is just getting more and more scarred.

I can't simply drop Kikyo, because of our past and it's so hard to let Kagome go because of how we feel for each other in the present. I know it may sound childish, but I really fear that whomever I don't choose will wither away and die. I just can't be responsible for a horrible thing like that.

If Kagome or Kikyo choose to go back to wherever they came from I sometimes wished that they'd just hurry and get it over with. I hate this! Keh! One is with the gang and I almost all the time helping us to collect the sacred jewel shard, while the other just appears at random or is coincidently where I happen to be! It's driving me crazy! I can feel my eyes twitching as I struggle not to scream and look like a madman in front of her and the rest of the gang! I probably should just give up my sanity and go crazy.

Even if one or neither of you is here, your presence still haunts me. Man I feel like I'm being followed by an invincible and uncatchable ghost.

The past refuses to leave me alone! The present or should I say the future (Kagome's from the future) haunts me nearly every day when she comes and even more when she leaves! Damn if this is any indication as to how my future will be like PLEASE! Anything in charge of life and death just get off your ASS and come and kill me right NOW!

When you were upset even if it didn't seem so, I tried my best to be there for you. When I heard you scream I'd rush to your aid. I tried the very best way I could to be with you and keep you out of danger. But it's so hard to choose or loose you.

I remember when we used to be so deep in love. Even now when your body is so deadly cold, I feel a gentle warmth that etches to my very soul. I know that you still have feelings for me despite your rare exhibition of such loving emotions towards me. You have been through so much and we had such wonderful times together. How can I choose Kagome over you? You were my first love, and death cannot change the feelings that burn within me for you.

When you were alive, your love for life and kind heart used to captivate me. You had caught my heart then and even now it seems that it doesn't really want to be let go.

Fifty Years after you had died. I was forced to help look for jewel shards; after I was reawakened, that came from your reincarnation's body. I try to get away from the past. But how can I when my very present and most likely future will always have a part of you in it. I have to choose two different people, but either way, you will always be there. After all, you came first (before reincarnation- Kagome).

I Keep on seeing her whether I'm awake or dreaming. I've not had absolutely pleasant dreams, but they are made worse not just by your presence. But also are made even worse by your departure. I could use the excuse that you're from a different time, but I know that if I had fallen love with one of your future, present. Past, ancient, it wouldn't matter.

I know that around you I might seem like a grouch, but just your footsteps, the sound of your very voice. Drives me to the brink of sanity. I feel as if I'm loosing any bit of common sense that I have and I get defensive because it makes me worried and scared. What if you don't feel the same? What if you feel the same and I choose someone else. I've seen you ride off on that contraption in tearful fury too many times. I just don't want to hurt you anymore.

I'm going out of my God Damn MIND! I can't choose! Kikyo, Kagome. Kagome, Kikyo. I can't have them both! I can only have just one.

I'm probably going to end up crazy before I'm able to make my decision!

Kikyo; I've tried to tell myself that your dead. But my heart does not care, and in reality, neither do I.

Kagome, you're with me now, but what will happen if I don't choose you. I know that you will not stay; I'm not that naive or stupid.

None of you are with me while I'm struggling to choose one of you. You have no idea of what I personally am going through. You might be around me in the physical realm, but you aren't with me in my internal struggle. I am truly am alone in making this decision. I've been alone all along.

I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF THIS! Sometimes I have to wonder if it's even worth it!

END

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