A/N: I was watching a movie where it involved a stripper and well… you see the outcome. ; I'm not sure when Sasuke's bday is but oh well! People are around 17-18.

Do I still have to do a disclaimer? Those are kinda lame. Of course I don't own it. Or else I'd kill Sasuke. Damn (coughcutecough) bastard. In any case, enjoy!

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"I still say the redhead looks better," Neji said, his eyebrows furrowed at the picture Kiba was holding. "That brunette looks shitty."

"Use your Byakugan, Byakugan! Brunette is way better than red any other day!" Kiba growled at the other.

"If you both use your eyes, you'd see they look the same. That's why you pick that pale blond one," Shikamaru said, yawning.

"Stop thinking about Ino, 'maru!" Chouji said, stuffing his face with a handful of peanuts. "We don't think of her that way. Totally pick the black-haired lady." He tried to whistle but ended up spitting half the food out.

"Watch it, tubby," Kiba glared at Chouji. "Not only do I not appreciate this peanut ordeal, that black-haired girl is my sister and she is not gonna do that for Sasuke."

"You can never be sure," sighed Lee. "Half the girls are still in love with Sasuke. I still can't really get Sakura's mind off him sometimes."

"I say we pick the one with purple hair." Shino suddenly said. The others stared at him. Shino barely spoke and when he did, it was always an order for them to shut up or something utterly out of the ordinary.

"Sasuke would not appreciate a girl with so many piercings," Lee replied.

"Sasuke wouldn't appreciate anything like this! That guy's asexual, I swear!" Kiba cried out. "We should probably just get him a couch or something and keep these girls to ourselves."

"Just cause you can't get Hinata to go on one date doesn't mean you need a stripper," Shikamaru said dryly.

"I can so get Hinata to go with me! I just don't like her that way, alright!"

"What's wrong with my cousin?" Neji glared at Kiba, his veins were prepared to pop out.

"Absolutely nothing! But I don't like her that way—chill, geez. Five years ago, you were ready to hack off her head."

"Shut up. That was five years ago."

"Whatever—let's just go order her up already," Chouji grumbled. "I'm getting hungry."

"You're eating peanuts right now," Shikamaru pointed out. Chouji grumbled again.

"I want something else. Like… ramen."

"Ah! Where the hell is Naruto, by the way! Damn son of a bitch was supposed to be here long time ago!" Kiba scowled.

"Well, he was kind of put off by the idea we had," Lee mused. "He screamed, 'What' over the phone and I couldn't hear for a week."

"Tough luck for him—Sasuke's turning 18 and we're got him a damn stripper." Chouji said, throwing away his trash. "Now I'm done with my damn peanuts and I want some damn ramen so let's go."

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Naruto watched his show crabbily. Last week, his friends were preparing for Sasuke's birthday present yet they were so unsure of what the Uchiha wanted. A few days later, Lee had called to say they were deciding between strippers. Thinking of some random ho sticking Sasuke's fingers down her throat made him threw up. Twice. Naruto groaned and stuck a hand over his eyes. He was starting the imagine it again. He sighed and frowned. He couldn't have told Lee of Sasuke's real sexual preference because if they were to get him a male stripper, Naruto would have just ended up killing someone.

Perhaps he could stall the girl. Naruto grimaced. If she lived in Konoha, she'd probably scratch his eyes out just to get to Sasuke's apartment since she'd most likely know him. Perhaps he could around Sasuke all day. Sasuke did mention he didn't want a party like last year so he was bound to stay home in order to protect himself from the rabid fan girls. Then again, Sasuke would get suspicious after a few hours. It was hopeless. Tonight, Sasuke was going to get molested by a girl.

Frustrated, Naruto hit the couch arm and accidentally changed the channel where he found himself watching an American movie with subtitles. Eyes wide, Naruto looked as a man reluctantly stripped himself with the help of a woman. Other men watching (in the movie) were happily cheering and throwing bills. Before the boxers came off though, the movie was panned to another scene. Naruto cursed the movie but then stopped. Eyes wide, he slowly smiled and then scampered off.

Now, perhaps Sasuke needed a stripper but who said they had to be a girl, let alone, a stranger?

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Sasuke chunked down his dinner on a portable table and opened the TV. It was already eight and no one had thrown him a party. Still, a few girls were camping outside his apartment door, waiting to give him a present or whatnot. Rolling his eyes, he took a sip of his bubbling soda and licked the foam off his upper lip. He would finally be able to watch Die Hard in peace without Naruto bouncing next to him saying a retarded-thick-accented version of bitch the whole time. His eyes softened a bit as he thought of the blond. Funny, he hadn't heard from him all day and all the guys had said Naruto wasn't there to wish him a happy birthday. Sasuke's mouth twisted. He better have a good excuse.

Shaking off the thought, he pressed the play button for his DVD player and settled back. He took a bite of his beef when his doorbell went off. Glaring at it, Sasuke took another bite and tried to ignore it yet it kept ringing. Sasuke heard a bunch of the girls outside screaming for the ringer to stop in order to give "Sasuke-sama" his peace. The bell stopped for a minute and then went off again. Sasuke's fingers twitched and finally got up after the hundredth ring. He opened the door, mouth opened ready to start yelling. A hooded figure pushed past him and shut the door with her back. Sasuke backed off a bit. If it was that same girl from two weeks ago, he was prepared to run. The person lifted up her head and the hood fell off to reveal Naruto.

"You son of a bitch!" Sasuke whacked Naruto's head. "I thought it was that girl from last time!" Naruto smiled and walked into the living room. "Most people would say hello first to the owner of a house that doesn't belong to them."

Naruto barely said a word as he shut off the TV and then pushed away the portable table to a corner. He walked back to the glass table in front of the couch and cleared it of all the items. "What the hell are you doing?" Sasuke asked. "Okay, so you've been coming here a lot. That doesn't mean you could go around acting as if this is your place."

Naruto took out a CD from his pocket and slid it into the stereo next to the TV set. Sasuke frowned when the song came on. "Okay, okay—I admit it. I like Britney Spears and this song is definitely nice, okay? Now would you goddamn say something!"

"Happy Birthday, Sasuke," Naruto finally said. He half smiled as he unwrapped the huge coat around him. It fell to the floor in a heap and Sasuke's eyes widened.

"Why are you dressed in leather?" He said, his voice pitching higher than normal on the last word. Naruto smirked and walked over to pull Sasuke by the wrist. He led him over to the table and pushed him down. "What the hell are you doing?" Sasuke asked. He tried to get up but he was pushed back down again. His reply was a smirk and a pair of handcuffs. Before anyone blinked, Naruto had already stuck on one cuff on Sasuke's wrist and the other linked to the table leg. "Okay… now you're acting worse than that girl from two weeks ago." Sasuke twitched while Naruto purred.

"Am I?" he smirked again and got on top of Sasuke's stomach. From his back pocket, he took out a can of whipped cream. Sasuke's eyes widened as Naruto grinned. He ripped off the wrapper and shook the can. The cap fell off during the process. He took Sasuke's free hand and sprayed it all over his fingers. Naruto licked the side of the thumb and trailed down to the elbow. His tongue curved around and he slowly drew away.

Sasuke grabbed Naruto by his shirt and kissed him. His lips feeling dry, Naruto allowed a space between to lick his lips yet before tucking them back, he was pulled back. Tongue on tongue, they kissed until Naruto backed away reluctantly which created a thin salvia bridge. "We haven't even gotten to the best part yet," he said and stripped off his shirt. Sasuke looked at the nine-tails seal and reached out. His hand was caught by Naruto's who pressed it against his stomach. Naruto used their entwined hands to trace over the seal as Sasuke watched; then trailed it down to unhook and unzip his pants. Sasuke looked up at Naruto who raised his eyebrow. "Do you want to?" he whispered.

Sasuke grabbed whatever part of the pants he could reach to drag Naruto forward but stopped upon hearing a crack. They both blinked as another crack sounded and another. Filled with unease, Naruto moved a bit which proved to be a big mistake as the glass table crashed to the floor. Naruto winced and guiltily smiled at the teen underneath him. "Uhhh… gee, look, you're free." Before anyone spoke again, the doorbell rang again.

"Oh, Birthday Boy! It's your gift from your friiiiiends." Hearing the voice, Sasuke winced at the same time Naruto growled.

"Get off me," Sasuke said to the blond.

"But—wait—you--" Naruto yelped as he was pushed off.

Sasuke opened the door and stared at the girl in front of him. She had pigtails and was wearing a tight blue dress. She looked back at him and eyed him from head to toe and nodded slowly. "Hellooo…" she broke into a smile. "I knew you were hot. Man, we're gonna have a niiiiice time tonight…" She took a step in but was immediately pushed out by Naruto who had come from behind.

"Pay the others their money back! You're not getting an inch of him!" He slammed the door and propped himself against the door. The girl pounded for a few minutes and then kicked the door. Seeing it wasn't going to open any time soon, the girl left angrily. Naruto slid down to the floor and crossed his arms. He muttered a few curses but frowned and looked up a few minutes later after Sasuke had kicked him.

"You are an amusingly stupid bastard and I have no clue what you are—or were doing but it's over now." He walked two steps forward and then turned back. "Oi, aren't you coming?"

"What?" Naruto unfolded his arms and stared at the smirking black-haired boy.

"If not, you could always go home and just use some lotion."

"Sasuke, you bastard!" Naruto shot up and threw a punch at the other. Sasuke caught his fist and pushed his forehead to Naruto's.

"However enticing your act was—remember that I'm always gonna be seme." Grinning, Sasuke stepped back and headed to the bedroom. "Don't keep me waiting. I get pretty fussy on my birthday if things don't go as planned and you owe me for that table."

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A/N: …XD