A little Helloween Music
Simone of the Zordiak

Disclaimer: I do not own anything, it all belongs to other people who aren't very nice to them.

A short answer to the challenge: 'what if Xander dressed as something different for Halloween' I was listening to my CD's and it spawned this short story. I hope you all can recognize the costume he choose.


He looked around listlessy. Buffy had already found her costume and left, but he was still here, still searching. At first he'd thought that he could go as a soldier, but then he'd watched several kids bawling around with their toyguns and suddenly he'd felt way to old for that.

What else was there? He flicked through the costumes. Vampire,
devil, demon, vampirehunter... it was all to close for him to wear comfortably. He didn't want to dress up as a villain, but neither did he want to be a hero. Heros were walking targets in Sunnydale.
No, he wanted to be something different, someone who was just himself. He stopped at one costume and frowned until he remembered the story behind it. Not a hero, but not a real villain either. Xander smiled. It was perfect.

Suddenly he was somewhere else. He whirled around, ready to fight,
but while there was chaos around him, nobody seemed to want to kill him here. He didn't know if he should be happy about it.
Sure, he'd escaped the lynchmob that was about to kill him, but he also had lost his one true love, had given her away freely so she could live a better, a happy life with all the things he couldn't give her.

He learned quickly why he was here, that he wasn't even real in this world, only a story, only a costume a boy had choosen. But he was real. He had a history and feelings and a soul. A damaged soul, but there was still hope for him yet. And with the sparsly information he had on this world, his hope grew.

A spell had brought him here, magic did exist, was working in this realm. He knew a lot of magic, had studied it for all his life,
maybe it could help him stay here, when the spell was ended. He had no desire to go back to his own reality, where the mob would tear him appart in a few minutes. No, he wanted to stay here.

He started thinking furiously. There had to be a way.


When the bust of Janus was unfriendly introduced to the floor of the costumeshop, everyone reverted back to his or her normal self.

Everyone except Xander. His costume, in a desperate attempt of trying to not being send back to his reality, had merged with him.

It was very confusing. He'd both the memories of his life on the hellmouth and the memories of over fifty years of life in the late 19th century. He remembered his childhoods, one as a normal child and one as an outcast, he remembered everything, the magic, the music, the murders and the morphium. And her... God, he still could see every small detail of her face... It hurt to remember her.

His body had changed, too. Xander had been tall before, but now he almost reached 7 feet. The brown of his hair had become pitchblack and his formerly chocolate-brown eyes were now the color of amber and reflected the light, like cats eyes.

When he finally went home after all the chaos, he removed the costume in front of the mirror and looked... and smiled.
When the two had merged, a lot of the damage had been repaired.
His face looked human now, save for several faint scars, that he could live with. He was human now, with a human face.

Xander started to humm.

Maybe he should compose something. Something happier and more carefree than his last works.

He was free, finally free of his burden.

Xander knew that those where not really his memories, but he couldn't blame his other for his wish of survival, couldn't blame him for the merging of the two. When the music started to fill his head, he knew he'd made the right decision.

He only hoped that the other scoobies would take his merging with Erik similarly well. There was no way to undo it and even if there were, he wouldn't let them do it... if only to keep the music in his mind.