Okay this is what happens, when I have a very long tiresome day at work. I get slap happy and think of weird things to write about.

I've replaced this story a few times, trying to fix mistakes, so if there are any left my apologies.

Just a fun little thing I made up cause I needed to relieve some stress.

Read Enjoy Review.

It was the middle of the night, and she wasn't even close to wrapping things up.

Sir Integral Wingates Hellsing sat at her desk, grumbling to herself about the ever growing pile of work that needed to be done. She dropped a stack of files into the metal filer next to her drawer, and grabbed the next item from her in box.

Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump she heard the footsteps of someone running down the hallway.

"How annoying." she groused.

Creaaakk, a door somewhere further down the hallway opened and shut loudly.

She gritted her teeth, trying to ignore the noises out in the hall. She took off her glasses, and rubbed her eyes, silently reminding herself that she was in need of a new prescription.

Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump the same footsteps now ran down the other end of the hallway. And again she heard the opening and slamming of doors.

Integral needed a break; she pulled a cigar from her pocket and lit it. She sucked the sweet smoke into her lungs and held it; savoring it before exhaling and seting the cigar in the nearby ashtray.

It had grown quiet outside her door; time to get back to work.

Clomp clomp, clomp, clomp, clomp, whoever it was had just galloped down the stairs.

Integral stood up and marched to the door of her office, whoever it was trouncing around the house was going to get it.

She opened her door, ready to catch the person at the bottom of the stairs and throttle them, but she was too late. Who ever it was had already disappeared.

Integral growled, and returned to her desk.

All was quiet for about an hour, except for the occasional door opening and closing, and something that sounded like someone was moving furniture.

She was strong, she'd ignore it, this work had to get done! She could literally feel the deadlines choking her. She reached for her cigar only to find it had burned out, searching her pockets for another cigar she found each of them empty. She was about to go on a tirade about her lack of cigars, but remembered she had more in her desk drawer.

She pulled open her drawer hoping to find her treasured cigars. Instead she jumped to her feet, utterly shocked and horrified. She slammed the door shut, and tried to contain herself.

She was definitely working to hard. She had to be imagining things

She pulled open the drawer, it was filled to the brim with thick, brackish blood.

"What the hell?" she yelled.

She was about to empty the drawer onto the floor when she noticed little eyes begin to form.

"Oh that does it," she said to herself.

"ALUCARD!!!" she screamed.

He remained in his goopy eyeball form, refusing to move.

Integral loaded her gun, and took aim at the blob in her desk drawer. She was just about ready to fire when the door to her office flew open. Seras ran towards the desk and peered into the drawer.

"Master I found you! You lose!" she laughed.

Integral stood there stoically, not finding any of it humorous.

"What are you two doing?" she yelled.

"Hide and seek Master." Alucard purred as he disappeared out of the drawer, and returned to his normal form.

"And Master Alucard was losing. Honestly Master, I would think a vampire of your power would be able to hide better."

"I thought I actually had you this time, I was certain that you'd never to think to look in here."

"You're such a sore loser Master."

"Am not, you cheat Police Girl."

The two carried on like ten year olds until Integral was ready to pull her hair out.


Alucard chuckled, "Oh, but Master we're both terribly bored. It's been so long since we've had a mission, and we're both itching to kill something."

"I don't care what you're itching for! GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!!!"

"But master..." Alucard laughed.

That was it, her last thin thread of patience snapped. Integral raised her gun and fired. Both vampires dodged the bullets easily, and ran from her office. She kept firing until both of them ran down the stairs to their lairs.

"That was fun Police Girl this was a good idea. Who knew I could have this much fun without killing someone."Alucard laughed, sitting down, at the bottom of the stairs.

"I thought we agreed that Integrals office was off limits." Seras laughed, plopping down beside him.

Alucard cocked an eyebrow, giving her a maniacal grin, "I know that's why I hid there."

Seras' jaw dropped, "you're a dirty little cheat! I knew it!"

Alucard laughed, "You're surprised?"

They heard Integral on the floor above them, "I still hear you, you vile creatures. Now go find something to do before I shoot you! And this time I won't miss."

Integral could hear both of them laugh as they slinked away. She wondered how ethical it would be to kill her co-workers.

This was a place of business, not a bloody, fucking daycare center.

After a few minutes of cursing Alucard and his little pet, she went back to work. Stopping every now, and then when she thought of a really great way of ridding herself of the two of them.

"I wonder where you get vat of holy water this time of night?" she mused, tossing another stack of work in her file cabinet.


Yeah I know, utterly silly. But I just couldn't function properly until it was out of my head.

I just looked at my hit count for this story 102 since yesterday when I put it up, and only two reviews. Let me know what you think! If you like it great let me know, if you think it could be better tell me! Just don't be cruel about it that's all I ask.