Future Imperfect Ch. 6
If you're looking for a somewhat serious plot please read my other Charmed fanfic Elders and Eyries which has plenty of humor, it's just not as uh.. plot-less as this is. And review.. it's getting lonely.
Last time::: "Well technically he's not ½ Whitelighter. He's ½-" Paige comments.(Technically he's ½ Elder and not ½ whitelighter)
"Shut up, they're all confused enough as it is." Chris interjects.
Future Leo's eyes bug out, "You…(pointing at Chris) I'm going to be a father again? But how is that possible?"
"Do I need give you 'The Talk." Chris asks Elder Leo.
Piper glares at her son giving him the 'you're not helping things' look.
"Remember 6 months ago Wyatt's Birthday, suspicious aphrodisiacs…"
Leo's face turns an interesting shade of red. "oh. Right. That."
Prue was curious why Piper would call Leo by his last name, were they barely on speaking terms?
-----"Where is future me? I see Future Phoebe and Piper--" Prue asked.
"Is she at work?" Phoebe A asked innocently, after all Prue was the sister with workaholic syndrome.
Piper and Future Phoebe exchanged uneasy looks. They had been dreading that question since they'd seen their older sister again. Paige seeing their inability to answer, answered for them
"No, actually, she's on a--long vacation."
"Where?" Leo A asked.
"Far faaar away- over the rainbow." Paige answered at about the same time Future Phoebe answered "Disneyland."
Paige and Piper gave her 'Disneyland? what crack are you on?' looks.
"What? It's the happiest place on Earth." Future Phoebe said wincing.
"I'm at Disneyland." Prue said deadpan.
"Vacation." Piper answered.
Leo A was about to offer to orb Future Prue in, when his older somewhat wiser self stopped him.
"The point is, we're not going to bring her into this. This isn't some pleasure trip, you're not supposed to be here."
"But how do can you use the power of three with Prue on vacation?" Phoebe A asked.
Piper looked to Phoebe B.
"We improvise, yes that's it, we're pretty good at that." Phoebe B said.
"How is little Wyatt doing?" Piper asked Phoebe B, changing the subject, coming back from her own little world where she was mentally vacationing.
"Piper! When did your mind turn to the gutter?" Phoebe A said sort of impressed with her older sister.
Piper glared at Phoebe- both of them.
"Wha? Why are you glaring at me, glare at the younger sleazier version. She said it. I have no control over my past." Future Phoebe griped.
"Hey! You're supposed to be on MY side- our side." Phoebe A said to herself. It wasn't fair Both Pipers agreed with each other...
"And why am I arguing with myself." Future Phoebe asked confused.
A baby could be heard crying downstairs.
"Who-" Prue asks.
"Uh, I'll go take care of Baby Wyatt." Paige said orbing down, while rolling her eyes. Let the others explain him.
"Uh you know, the Wyatt baby." Phoebe B said trying to cover and doing an unusually good job of it.
"Can we NOT go there? Jeez, is there anything you don't want to tell your past selves?" Chris yells temperamentally.
"Chris." Paige warned tilting her head.
"Maybe we can mess things up so that none of us live this long?" Chris added with great sarcasm.
"Timeline shemineline. Time travel makes my head hurt, but lying makes my head hurt worse." Phoebe said rubbing her temples.
"Don't worry Chris, our favorite Elder will elderdust their memories when we're done with this." Piper says flipantly, waving her hands about.
"Favorite Elder?" Prue said skeptically. "I thought you hated the Elders Piper." Prue thought back to all the problems the Elders had caused with Piper's engagement.
Phoebe A, Prue and Leo were desperately trying to grasp the future their counterparts had overshared.
"I do," Piper said defensively, but caved a little at Elder Leo's wince. "mostly."
Leo B winced. "The other Elders are not going to like this-"
"Other Elders?" Leo A asked looking at Piper with dawning realization/dread.
"I'm just glad you're not upset about this little-incident." Phoebe B said carefully. She could feel the betrayal and confusion coming off Elder Leo.
"Elders don't get angry." Elder Leo said carefully as Paige orbed back in handing toddler Wyatt to his mommy. Piper immediately began making cooing noises at the powerful someday evil Wyatt, not to be confused with his Dad- Mr. Wyatt.
Paige snorted and said to Elder Leo. "Yeah, right, like you Elders don't have a SMITE button."
Leo B sighed. "No, Paige, we don't."
"Just like as our whitelighter you always actually checked with the Elders when you said you were going to- "Sun god." (Season 6- "Witchstock" reference) Paige countered. Leo was pissing her off, the way he had been treating Piper.
Elder Leo opened his mouth to answer, glancing at Piper in worry, hoping Paige hadn't told Piper yet about his 1960's self hitting on Paige. "I- did." He said defensively.
"Uh huh, right, "Phoebe A said skeptically.
"Oh Save it for the other Elders Leo, He (pointing at Leo A) admitted to it." Phoebe B added.
Leo B said the only thing he could at a moment like that. "Crap."
Chris was sitting down with his Mom alternately covering his eyes, ears and mouth in concern. It looked like a weird mockery of "See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" and the episode "Sense and Sense Ability."
A/N:(ideas… anyone? If not the next chapter will be the epilogue. Any other Future issues you want in this?) I wrote this weeks ago but I was hoping to be able to make it longer and more funny than it is… but I figure you'll forgive me because it means I'm actually posting SOMETHING. Which… um is better than nothing? ::uncertain::
Ja ne minna!