Accommodations and Cabbages

By: Missfortune

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters and cheers to that.

Warnings: A little insanity never hurt anyone.

Notes: You know what? I blame this fic solely on Dean. Yes, you heard me! This is all your fault, you and your comments in your lj have forced this stupid fic out of me! *cries* I didn't want to write DBZ...someone will have to wash the dirty 'Geta germs from me now. Anyway, Dean made a few comments about the evolution of Saiyans, gender changes, mpreg, etc and dammit all if it didn't trigger a pesky plot bunny! So here, my first dbz fic since...I can't remember.

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Bulma banged on the door. "Vegeta! Are you going to come out of there?" She yelled.

"Go away woman!" Vegeta yelled back in a hoarse voice.

Bulma shook her head, not that he could see her. "I'm not going away until I see that you're fine!" One day, Vegeta just stopped coming out of his room. He locked the door and she was pretty sure that he pushed all his furniture up against it. She had no way in and had no clue what was going on. He'd been in there for over a week and she was definitely beginning to worry.

"I'm fine! Just go the hell away!"

"That's it! I'm calling Goku!"

There was a shuffle behind the door. "Don't! Don't call that baka!"

"Come out then!"

"No!"

"Then I'm calling! And you can't stop me unless you come out! So there!" Bulma stormed off to call her friend.

A short while later, Goku was standing outside the door of Vegeta's room.

"C'mon Vegeta, just open up." Goku called.

"Go to hell!"

"Don't be like that," Goku pouted.

"Leave me alone!"

"Not until we know you're all right." Bulma shouted.

"Dammit woman! Stay out of my business!"

"She's just worried," Goku said.

"I don't need your damn pity! Just leave me be!"

Goku shook his head. "Just open the door or I'll open it myself."

"Fuck off!"

Goku sighed. Bulma had given him permission to tear up the room if it got Vegeta out, but he was reluctant to do so. Vegeta was really leaving him with no choice though as he stubbornly refused to cooperate. "Okay, I'm coming in." He reached out, tearing the door off as carefully as possible and setting it beside the wall. The smell that wafted out was a wave of over-whelming musk. Bulma coughed and stumbled down the hall for fresh air. Goku took a deep breath and paused. The air had some strange tang to it that he couldn't really put his finger on. Feeling nervous, he started climbing over the furniture that Vegeta had piled up in the hallway to prevent entrance into his room. The room was dark, with the only light seeping in from the hallway behind him. He reached to turn on the lights, but nothing happened.

"Vegeta?"

From deep inside the dark room, he heard a growl. "I told you to stay out."

"We're just worried." Goku said, climbing over a dresser.

"You should be more worried about yourself." Vegeta launched himself at Goku, snarling.

Goku blocked him. He grabbed the angry Saiyan's wrist and threw him into the hall. Vegeta crashed against the far wall and went down on all fours. He looked up at Goku and glared.

Bulma had just returned with a can of air spray when Vegeta came crashing into the hall. She looked him over and dropped the can of floral scented spray. The bottle rolled loudly in the silent hall as Goku and Bulma stared at the Prince. His form fitting blue outfit was fitting a whole new form.

"Vegeta! You're a GIRL!" Goku yelled.

Vegeta snarled. "I'm not a girl."

"But you have...you have..." Goku swallowed hard. "You have boobies," he whispered, his eyes the size of large dinner plates.

Vegeta sat up, his arms crossing defensively over the small, but obvious breasts. He was trying his best to kill Goku with just one look.

Bulma finally regained her senses, stooping to pick up the air freshener, she sprayed it once. "So what happened then? This is why you wouldn't come out of your room?"

Vegeta threw her a nasty look. "This is all your fault. If you would have just submitted to me this wouldn't have happened."

Bulma raised her eyebrow. "Oh? I wouldn't be your fuck toy and now I'm at fault for this...this whatever it is?" She waved her hand at him.

"All you had to do was spread your legs like a good little bitch," Vegeta sneered.

Bulma snorted, giving him a nice little salute courtesy of her middle finger.

"How is this Bulma's fault?" Goku finally asked. "Did she do an experiment?"

Vegeta turned his glare back on Goku. "No, she wouldn't fucking sleep with me."

"Cut the games Vegeta, just tell us what happened without pointing fingers." Bulma ordered.

Vegeta hissed at her like an angry cat. Bulma sprayed him with her air spray. Vegeta coughed and waved his arms, cussing.

Goku sniffed. The air spray was nice. It reminded him that... "I'm hungry."

Vegeta's stomach growled in agreement.

Bulma crossed her arms. "Okay, I'll cook for you guys if you both clean up this mess and Vegeta takes a shower and explains this, this...whatever."

"Ok," Goku agreed happily at the promise of food.

Vegeta grumbled and slunk back into his room and Bulma took it to be agreement on his part.

An hour later, she watched the two Saiyans shovel food into their mouths. Once the last crumb had been inhaled and Goku finished making happy noises of appreciation, she turned to Vegeta. Vegeta glared back at her.

"Well?" She prompted.

"I'm a Saiyan," he shrugged, his new breasts stretching out the material of the blue jumpsuit that he continued to wear.

"Obviously. But that doesn't explain this," she fluttered her hand at him.

"Actually it does. A Saiyan will change gender to accommodate the most suitable available mate in order to procreate and bring forth children if they don't have any preexisting offspring." Vegeta said in a quiet, but dangerous voice.

Bulma looked thoughtful. "Fascinating! So, since I wouldn't spread 'em for you and have your brats, you changed gender in order to accommodate-"

"Don't say it!" Vegeta yelled.

Bulma's eyes were dancing with laughter as she looked at Goku, who looked clueless as usual. He was more interested in trying to lick a plate clean than listen to Vegeta's explanation of their race. "This is a complete gender change?"

Vegeta grudgingly nodded.

Bulma smirked. "Is it permanent?" She finally asked.

"No, it's not." Vegeta shook his head.

"So how do you change back?"

Vegeta glared at Goku. "I must breed with the most suitable mate."

Bulma laughed.

"This isn't funny dammit!" Vegeta pounded his fist on the table, cracking the hard wood.

"Chill out. Don't break my furniture girl," Bulma drawled.

"I'm going to kill you," Vegeta said quietly, his hands clenching.

"No you won't. Your suitable mate won't let you." Bulma laughed.

"I'm going to kill you slowly."

Bulma shook her head. "So how is this suitable mate chosen?"

"I didn't choose him. It has to do with power levels. He is...more powerful," Vegeta spat. "Therefore, I change to suit him."

"What if he refuses to mate with you?" Bulma asked, interested in how Saiyans worked. Now that she had Vegeta answering questions, she was going to ask as many as possible.

"He cannot refuse," he replied almost smugly.

Vegeta arched an eyebrow at the prince. "Why not?"

"If he does not bed me of his own will, I will go into heat and he will seek me out in a fog of lust. We copulate until I am with child. After the child's birth, I change back."

Bulma tried to imagine Goku in a fog of lust and failed, giggling instead. Goku watched them, having set aside his plate.

"You're going to have a baby?" He asked with a big grin.

Vegeta sighed, pressing his hand to his temple. "I have no choice."

"Wow! Can I be the daddy?"

Vegeta stared at him. "What?"

"I like being a daddy. It's cool. Can I be the daddy? Please? Please? Please Vegeta?" Goku gave Vegeta his best puppy dog look.

"Kakarott...do you even know how to make a baby?"

"Sure I do! Chichi gives me this special tea and I go to sleep and have good dreams and that's when the stork brings the cabbage for the mommy to eat and when she eats the cabbage she gets the baby in her stomach and then it grows and grows and pops out from her belly button!"

Bulma shook her head, she was really going to have a talk with Chichi about how she handled her husband. Vegeta stared at the Saiyan sitting next to him. Goku beamed. Vegeta shrugged.

"Works for me. Do we have some tea and a cabbage? I have a baby to make." Vegeta stood and walked into the kitchen in search of a cabbage with Goku trailing behind him.

Bulma shook her head again. She really needed to have a talk with Vegeta about how he handled his suitable mate.

The End