Just getting into FMA, my apologies for any OOC-ness. Standard Disclaimers apply.

Child's Play
By Icka! M. Chif

+++

Lieutenant Colonel Hughes' started it.

Of course if you asked him it was First Lieutenant Hawkeye's fault.

All he wanted to do was ask Colonel Mustang if he would care to join Hughes and his two favourite women for dinner, but Hawkeye wouldn't allow anyone to interrupt Mustang's work for something as... frivolous as a dinner invitation.

Never mind that it would have taken a grand total of all of two seconds.

It was when Alphonse Elric came into the office when the idea hit. A Brilliant Idea. A Gem of an Idea.

A Sneaky Idea on how to evade Hawkeye's, well, hawk-like gaze.

He paused Alphonse at his desk for a moment, engaging him in some small talk of no matter really, but expected in an environment like theirs while he jotted a quick note. When Hawkeye called Alphonse into the Colonel's room, Hughes smiled, patted him on the back and wished him a good day.

Mustang didn't notice the slip of paper with his name on it attached to Alphonse's back until their meeting had been concluded and the larger Elric had turned to go. Puzzled, he stopped the obvious boy, pulled off the note and read it.

Grinning, he then jotting his own response and asked Alphonse to deliver the letter back to Hughes. Which Alphonse, being the polite boy that he was, was pleased to do.

Hughes was more than happy at the reply, although he was very confused as to why Mustang would want to stop by a Toy Store before coming to dinner.

It wasn't until the next day, when he saw Alphonse leaving Mustang's office that he understood what the sneaky bastard had been up to.

Written on Alphonse's back in bright colourful children's magnetic letters:

'fuLlMeTAL
iS A
ShRImP'

The resulting howl when Edward saw it could be heard half the city away.

-fin-

During the course of the fic, we also realized something very important.
You do not call Colonel Mustang, "Colonel Mustard" #^^#
"Colonel Mustang did WHAT in the Conservatory with the Candlestick?!"