Passing Souls

Summary: I watched that sappy not really very good movie called Made in Heaven and this idea came to me since I subscribe to the belief that Buffy and Angel are soul mates. This takes place after Liam is turned and his soul goes up to Heaven. There might possibly be another part to it, just depends. Told from Angel's point of view.

I'm lying on my back on a green hill. Everything is brightly lit, but not the kind of bright that hurts your eyes, the kind of bright that is soothing somehow. I can't figure out where it comes from, everything just sort of glows from within. It's more beautiful then Ireland. I've never been anywhere, but I didn't think that was possible. I take a deep breath at the thought of home. There's not a lot of things I miss, but there are some. There's one, Kathy. I miss Kathy and I hope she'll be okay without her big brother to watch over her.

"You're thinking about the other place, aren't you?" A voice asks.

I turn around looking for the source of it. She seems to materialize from nowhere and I quickly amend this place being the most beautiful thing. She is the most beautiful thing. She glows from within and I'm fairly certain she is the source of all this light. Her hair is the sun, her eyes are the ocean and her skin, I don't have anything to compare it to, I've never seen anything as beautiful and fine as her skin. She's little, tiny, fragile. The angels always look bigger in the pictures I'd seen.

"I can tell. You have that really sad look on your face. The only time I ever see it is when people are thinking about the other place." She says.

"You mean home?" I finally ask.

She shrugs. "I don't know. I've never been there."

"What do you mean? Where do you come from?" I ask.

"I've never been there. They are waiting for a special vessel and particular time to send me there. I don't understand it, but until then I stay here. What's your name?" she asks.

"Liam," I answer.

She walks closer to me and lays her hand on my face. I close my eyes, her touch feels like I've been waiting my entire life for it. "You're beautiful. Prettier then all the others I've seen from there. I think I'll call you Angel."

"Okay," I answer. "What's your name?"

"Buffy," she says. "Come on, I have so much to show you."

We're not standing on a green hill anymore. We're in a field of paint bright flowers. I've never seen so much color, everything is bright and beautiful. She runs through the flowers laughing. "Come on, Silly, what are you waiting for?" she says. I run after her. She lets me catch her and we roll in the flowers. My lips brush hers. Everything goes still. I can't take a breath, I don't want to. I close my eyes and kiss her. She makes Heaven fade away. When I open my eyes we're not in the field of flowers. We're floating in pure, white light.

"I didn't know what color to make our kisses." She says almost bashfully.

"It doesn't matter. This color is perfect." I say.

"White light is all colors, silly." She answers.

"And it's perfect." I say. "Can I kiss you again?"

She laughs and tugs on my neck. "Please."

We're lying on a bed made of willow reeds and it's floating down a river. Buffy is curled up next to me. Her head is on my shoulder and her hair is spread out over my arm. I lean over and kiss her forehead.

"Angel, do you like it here with me?" she asks.

"I love it here with you." I answer.

"Do you still miss the other place?" She asks.

"Not when I'm with you." I tell her, and I mean it.

"Is it nice, the other place?" She asks.

"Not as nice as here." I tell her.

"If I have to go to the other place will you come too?" she asks.

"Of course, I'll never leave you. No matter what, I'll find you, always." I say.

"How can you be sure?" She asks.

"If I were blind I would see you."

She looks up at me and stretches just a little so that her lips touch mine. I tangle one hand in her hair and roll her underneath me. I run my hands down her naked body. She's amazing. I don't care that I've lost everything because it led me to her. I would give it all up for her again. It just happened that I came to Heaven for her. I know I'd go to Hell for her too, without a second thought.

She waves her hand across the sky and we're lying in a hammock strung between two palm trees. The sun is setting over the ocean. She's always changing the scenery around us. Most of the time it's the willow reed bed floating down the river, but sometimes it's a beach and sometimes it's a field of flowers. Occasionally it's a little house with a couple of rocking chairs.

She wrinkles her nose in that way that I find adorable and changes the scenery again, now it's a forest with a great big sleigh bed in the middle of it. "I can't decide. What's your favorite place?" she asks.

"My favorite place is with you." I answer. "I want to marry you." I say.

She giggles. "We are married, at least according to Heaven." She turns on her side to face me. She snuggles close, twining her legs with mine. She buries her nose in the crook of my neck, that place made just for her head. "See, we fit. You were made for me." She says.

Somehow I know she's right.

I wake up in the forest bed and she's not there. I panic. She's never not there. Since the day I got here, she's been there. "Buffy!" I scream. I start running, screaming her name over and over until my voice is hoarse. They wouldn't take her without letting me say good bye, would they? She wouldn't let them.
I finally find her sitting on the edge of a cliff, the waves crashing below. We've never been here before. Her bare feet dangle over the edge. She looks sad. I sit down beside her and draw her into my embrace. I didn't realize how lost I felt without her there.

"I thought you were gone." I say.

"I knew you'd find me." She answers.

I hug her tightly in answer and kiss her breathless. She looks up at me and tears trickle from the corners of her eyes. "I wish I could keep you." She says.

"You can, I'm yours, forever." I say.

She shakes her head. "They're going to make you go back, to the other place. Only it's different now. You've been here a long time."

"No," I whisper.

She smiles sadly at me. "It can't be helped. You aren't being sent, you're being ripped out. "

"Do you get to come with me?" I ask.

She shakes her head. "It's not time for me yet, but I will be there, eventually."

"I'll find you, I promise." I say.

She cups my cheek with her hand. "I know you will you're my destiny. Remember, no matter how bad things are down there, you have to live, for me. You have to find me. I'll be waiting for you. Remember, Angel, I love you."

It hurts, it hurts. The pain rips me in half and I'm on my knees in mud and rain. It's cold and wet and everything hurts. Where is she? Where am I? I remember, I remember golden hair and hazel eyes, soft lips and her name. I can't remember her name and slowly other terrors and horrors, things I've done creep in and the golden hair and the hazel eyes fade away. I know I wasn't always here, there was somewhere else, there was someone else but I can't remember. The only thing I remember are the screams and the blood and the evil that's been done. I curl up into myself. If I just wait the dawn will take me. And then I hear an angel's voice in my ear, "You have to live, for me." I scramble to my feet and run. The sun rise is almost here and I don't know why but I have to live.