Fearing Love

Disclaimer: Sailormoon is not mine. I'm broke, don't sue!

By: Selenity Jade (Jadesama@aol.com)

Prologue

Rating: PG13

Walking up the long stairs towards the temple, a young blond girl hummed a sad little tune under her breath. Her hair was held in a long ponytail that reached her ankles. She wore a pair of black Jean shorts and a black tank top that clearly showed off her curves. A sad smile upon her beautiful face. Her cerulean blue eyes shown with unshed tears.

When the girl reached the top of the stairs, she quickly made her way to the temple gardens in the back. Turning the corner, she spotted eight young women sitting around the grass.

"Usagi-chan!" one of the younger girls said happily and ran up to give her a hug. The girl's short black hair barely reached her shoulders and her violet eyes shown with happiness.

"Hotaru-chan! It's so nice to see you again," Usagi said with a smile. "You've grown up so beautiful!"

The young woman blushed. "Thanks, Usagi-chan," she said quietly. Then grabbed a hold of the blonde's hands and pulled her towards the others. "Come on!"

Laughing, Usagi followed. Each of the girls jumped up and surrounded her. Hugs and chatter followed shortly after.

"Usagi! It's been so long," a blond woman said with a smile.

"I know. It has been forever, hasn't it?"

"Yes, forever, idiot," a voice said sardonically. Turning towards it, Usagi smiled.

"Sorry, Rei-chan, but life has been busy," she began before being cut off.

"I know, stupid!" Rei said with a smile, ran up to her friend, and hugged her tightly. "I missed you," she whispered.

"Me too, Rei-chan."

"Hey, Usagi-chan! Are you still burning cookies?" a tall brunette asked.

Usagi smiled at that. "No, not anymore. I can cook. Can you believe it, Mako-chan?"

"Not until I see it," the taller girl said with a grin. She then hugged Usagi hard. "Good to see you, Princess."

"Hey, Usagi-chan," a quiet voice said.

Turning towards it, Usagi's smile grew. "Ami-chan! You haven't changed," she said happily.

"You have," the young woman with blue hair said proudly. "You've grown up wonderfully, Usagi-chan."

Blushing, Usagi looked away. "Thank you, Ami-chan."

"Hey, Usa, how you doing?"

Usagi turned towards the blond and her girlfriend. "Hello, Haruka, Michiru. It's going okay. How are you two?"

"We are good, Princess," Michiru answered with a smile and they hugged her.

"Princess."

Usagi looked over at the Guardian of Time with a smile. "Setsuna, you haven't changed have you?"

"Never," she replied. Then she smiled at her friend.

"It's so good to see you all again," Usagi began.

"Hey, where is Mamoru-san?" Rei asked suddenly.

Usagi's face fell immediately. She should have known that they would ask that. She smiled bravely. "He isn't coming," she said sadly.

"What?!" eight voices exclaimed.

"Why not, Usagi-chan?" Minako asked her friend.

Sighing, Usagi gave in to the inevitable. "He and I aren't together, anymore," she said, voice breaking.

"WHAT?!" they all exclaimed again.

"Usagi-chan, what are you talking about? You two are supposed to be together!" Rei said unthinkingly.

"I know, that is what I thought too, but I guess not. He left me seven months ago. Well, I suppose he left me long before that, but it wasn't official until then," she explained.

"What happened, Usagi?" Michiru asked concerned.

Her eyes filled with tears as she explained to her friends what had become of the 'destined' relationship. His distance. His disappearing. His silence. His decision. She told her friends all of this, tears in her eyes, but not one fell.

"That's it. He left. I'm not angry with him, so you guys shouldn't be either. He couldn't handle it, I guess. I don't know. Something happened to him and he left me. It's over. Forever."

"What about Crystal Tokyo, Usa?" Haruka asked.

"What about Chibi-Usa-chan?" Hotaru asked worriedly.

"I'm sorry. I don't know. All I know is he and I are over. I haven't talked to him since that night seven months ago. He's gone. And it's forever. I'm sorry," Usagi said listlessly.

"You gave up? You gave up on the love you two fought for so many times? You gave up on the second chance your mother gave you? How could you, Usagi-chan?" Rei said angrily.

"I didn't give up. I just faced reality. I can never get him back. All it would do would bother him and he deserves to be happy. And I'm not what makes him happy. It's over."

"Usagi..."

~~~

Looking up at the night sky from her balcony, Usagi finally gave in to the tears. They fell from her blue eyes that seemed devoid of life. She hadn't been entirely truthful with her friends earlier. True, she knew it was over and they weren't getting back together, but somewhere deep inside of her, Usagi held on to the hope. The hope that wouldn't die. And that hope was killing her.

If she really lost all hope she could at least move on. But with this damnable hope she couldn't. She kept holding on to her Mamo-chan. And he wasn't her Mamo-chan anymore. And he'll never be hers again. Yet, that hope stayed. That little tiny part of her heart that remembered he loved her. That part that kept on remembering the wonderful memories he gave her. Her soul cried out for him every moment. 'Mamo-chan...'

~~~

AN: Again, this is a repost. ^_^;

Lovies!