I would like to dedicate this part to all writers who have been flamed before. As well as to Lady Ainet and her webpage, the first home for my despondent fics! Yes, *looks ponderous* it does seem that you have *looks surprised* corrupted me somewhat with hyperness!


Part 4

"I know," Sparrow said, after a while. "A possible enemy a fic writer would have."

"What?" Lynn asked. "Writer's block?"

"Writer's block?" Ginny yelped. "How anti-climatic. You mean a Writer's Block made Michean stark raving mad?"

"Sparrow," George said gently. "What is it?" There was a gleam in Sparrow's eye and she was unnaturally silent.

"A flamer," Sparrow replied simply. "Someone who flamed their fics. Hate their fics. Isn't that a fic writer's biggest enemy?" Sparrow added after a while, "After Writer's block, of course."

"ER HUM!" the messenger coughed.

Everyone looked at him.

"Calamity? Disaster? Ain't anyone remember?" the herald reminded impatiently.

"Right," Sparrow replied. "Let us be at the royal palace in Corus!"


There was smoke and debris everywhere. The group coughed quite a bit before Numair drew a spell to disperse the smoke.

"Oh my gosh," Lynn yelped, examining the mess. "Its even messier than my room!"

"It's like Doctor Jackell and Mr Hyde!" Ginny exclaimed.

"I have to go after him," Sparrow said grimly. "Numair, Alanna, Daine, George, Ginny, Lynn-"

"Why didn't you just say 'everybody'?" Lynn asked.

"Okay, e-v-e-r-y-b-o-d-y," Sparrow responded. "Don't come after me. I am going to deal with Michean and I don't want to be distracted."

Everyone nodded.

"Well," Sparrow said and took in a breath. "How am I going to find Michean?"

"Why don't you just follow the trail of destruction?" George suggested.

"Oh yah hor," Sparrow replied. "Bye bye for now!"

The trail was easy to follow enough. Sparrow came to Michean who was blasting his magic at a house.

"STOP!" Sparrow yelled.

Surprisingly, Michean did stop.

"Michean, you are a healer at the kennels with two sisters. You DON'T have the gift and you are going to return to normal and get your butt back to the kennels this instant!" Sparrow commanded. Michean disappeared. Sparrow was about to go off to check whether Michean DID end up at the kennels when someone stepped out of the shadows.

"Finally, Sparrow, we meet," the stranger rasped. He or she or it, was wearing a black, heavy cloak that cover it/him/her (take your pick) from head to foot and the hood covered his/her/its face.

"Well, yeah," Sparrow replied, turning towards the person. "Hello Rouge La Bu!"

"You know me," Rouge said, surprised.

Sparrow snorted. "You were the only one who had flamed me and how the heck did you get into my fics?"

"Simple," Rouge replied, laughing like a hyena.

"Sorry," Sparrow responded. "I don't find what's so funny."

Rouge smiled at her. Or at least Sparrow sensed Rouge smile. Sparrow sniffed, "And why the heck are you so dressed up? I am sorry to disappoint you, but I didn't watch Scream nor its sequels, so if you are trying to terrify me by making me think you are a Scream killer, you are doomed to disappointment. And isn't it HOT under there?"

Rouge sneered, "I simply wish to keep my anonymity. And YES it's damn hot in here, but they didn't have anything better here."

"Why didn't you try dressing up as batman or something. Maybe superman. You can show off your legs," Sparrow taunted.

"Enough talk," Rouge said curtly. "And appreciate my ingenious mind! I managed to get into your world by writing myself into it."

"Oh yah hor," Sparrow murmured. "Wait!" Sparrow exclaimed, holding up her hand. "You said that my fics were-"

"ARE!" Rouge sniped.

"A RIP-OFF," Sparrow continued, ignoring Rouge. "And YOU wrote a Lost-in-Sparrow's-Tortall based on MY fics? Isn't that very ironical and rather hypocritical? Why don't you just go and create your OWN version!!" Sparrow was seriously getting pissed.

Rouge stamped his/her/its foot.

Sorry for the brief interruption. I am tired of typing his/her/its. *Wave hands to get rid of cramps* So, for the sake of convenience, let's say its, from now on, alright?

It huffed, "I did it only to get my revenge!"

"REVENGE?" Sparrow yelped. "What did I do to you?"

"Sorry," Rouge responded, embarrassed. "I mean AVENGE."

"Avenge who?" Sparrow asked. "And I think you are watching too many soap operas by the way!"

"Avenge the other fic writers. Those who did not rip off pple," Rouge declared.

"Fine," Sparrow replied. "Why don't you do humanity a favour and avenge yourself for everyone for ripping off MY fic?"

"Don't delude yourself," Rouge said grimly.

"The irony! The irony!" Sparrow exclaimed, looking at the skies and throwing up her hands, as if petitioning to the gods.

Perhaps she was. Rouge was proving itself to be an intolerable identity.

"Enough talk!" Rouge declared and swept its cloak dramatically.

"I agree," Sparrow retorted, gritting her teeth.

"I wish the ground would open up and swallow Sparrow!" Rouge commanded.

The ground split open when a huge dragon suddenly appeared and swept Sparrow out of harm's way.

"Hey!" Rouge said. "No fair! You can operate without speaking!"

"Well," Sparrow sniffed. "All's fair in love or war!"

An enormous vine jerked out of the ground and entwined itself around Rouge. "I wish for the vine to dehydrate till nothingness!" Rouge commanded. The twine turned brown and disintegrated.

Sparrow counterattacked by getting a ring of fire to sweep around Rouge. Rouge put the fire out with a blizzard. The snow temporarily blinded Sparrow and Rouge took advantage by throwing a bolt of lightning. Sparrow rolled away in time, but was thrown back, stunned. Rouge took advantage by covering Sparrow in ice.

"Argh," Sparrow winced. It was COLD! Now she too, wished for a Scream cloak. "I wish I had Cyclops' eyes!" Sparrow whispered.

ZANG! Red, hot laser beams shot out of her eyes. She blasted her way out of the ice. She squinted her eyes. Rouge overdid the blizzard part. The ground was covered with snow up to her knee. She couldn't see. In a way, it was good as it meant that Rouge couldn't see too.

"Come here prettie birdie," Rouge crooned. Sparrow cringed and moved cautiously away from where she had been frozen.

"Oh Sparrow," Sparrow said to herself. "Think, think, think! This is the WORST time to get a writer's block! Um. I wish that I could see perfectly thru anything." Rouge La Bu was coming!

Sparrow huddled behind a cart (?) or snow covered thing that looked like a cart and peered at Rouge. Rouge had made its way toward the ice. Sparrow blinked. "Oh no," she groaned softly. "I overdid the see thru anything. I can see that Rouge is so NOT wearing underwear! I wish to undo my last wish. I wish I can see perfectly no matter the conditions."

Rouge La Bu was now examining the ice. An idea struck Sparrow, "Runaway train come and knock Rouge La Bu!"

WHAM! Hoot hoot! A train suddenly crashed against Rouge La Bu, sending it flying. "No one can survive a knock like that," Sparrow murmured. "I wish the weather turned back to normal."

The blizzard ceased and the sun came out to play prettily among the clouds. Sparrow whistled at the sight of destruction. Unbeknownst to her, Rouge La Bu, thought to be dead, had gotten up, brushed itself off and was now stalking towards Sparrow.

"I think I should check if Rougey is really deadie," Sparrow finally said.

Rouge La Bu, behind Sparrow, materialised a dagger and was about to stab Sparrow when Sparrow said, "I wish for strong winds to clear out all the unsightly things here!"

Rouge La Bu was swept away by the winds, it snarled, "I command the wind to stop!"

Nothing happened and it just got carried further away. It muttered something, a group of stormwings appeared and grabbed it. They put it on the ground.

"I thought you were dead!" Sparrow exclaimed.

Rouge smiled evilly. Sparrow could see the flash of its grin. "The illusions of grandeur!" It shook its head and explained in a condescending voice, "I can't die as I haven't written myself out of the fic yet. No use hitting me with trains, or pianos. You would just make your version of Tortall into a cheesy cartoon."

It sneered, "I am a god here! No, more than a god! I can virtually do anything I want, raise mountains, part seas, destroy and create! I am immortal! Nothing can kill me! I am invincible! I am more powerful than the most powerful gods here! I wield more power than Mother Flame and Father whateverhisnameis. And NOBODY can stop me!"

He raised his arms, "Chaos, I release you from your prison!"

The air in front of him shimmered and opened to show a circle of moving colours. Sparrow got a headache from looking at it.

Well, I think that is supposed to be your cue to laugh evilly," Sparrow replied, hiding her surprise. "The other gods and goddess, hello! I can't do all the work here! Get your butts down here and deal with Chaos!" Surprised and shocked gods and goddess appeared surrounding the portal.

"What the-" Shakith went.

"The insolence of this mortal!" Mithros roared.

A black cat with purple eyes jumped from the mother goddess arms onto Mithros' shoulder. It meowed, "Enough foolishness! Chaos is about to descend from her prison and take over the world. I think THAT takes precedence over everything!"

Surprisingly, the gods and goddess did heed the cat and gathered around the portal, just as a tentacle reached out.

Sparrow felt nausea roll around her stomach and she tore a gaze away from the sight. Just in time to see two chimeras launch at her.

"STOP WHERE YOU ARE!" She yelled. To her surprise, the chimeras DID stop in mid-air, as if frozen. "Return to your place of origin!" she commanded and they winked out of existence.

Rouge clapped slowly, "Very good, now catch this!" A flurry of daggers, swords and pointy things flew at Sparrow.

She raised her arms and a hurricane blew towards Rouge, carrying the sharp objects with it. "Haven't you heard? What comes around, goes around?" she taunted.

Before it was swept up, it rolled its eyes, or at least she sensed it did. "So cliché," Rouge sighed, "Not again! And those Stormwings stink!"

This gave time for Sparrow to re-evaluate the situation. "Think, Sparrow, think, how would you get rid of Rouge?" Sparrow muttered. "Rouge says he is almighty as he can do anything, which is true as you CAN do anything you want in a fic. He said he couldn't die because he hasn't written himself out of the fic yet. That would be true as this world is shaped by fics…." Sparrow tilted her head, recalling the recent events. "Wait a second…"

Rouge landed in front of Sparrow. "I have been too merciful," Rouge rasped. "Now you must die!"

"You know, that line would have worked if your cloak wasn't torn in places, your voice didn't break, your body wasn't shaking and you didn't stink to the high heavens!" Sparrow remarked, holding her nose, she flapped her right hand at him. Flowers started to shower on him.

Rouge, who was prepared for some attack, looked bewildered. It stepped to the side, the shower of flowers followed it. It sneered, "And what was that supposed to do? Fragrance me to death?"

"Well, it does wonders to your BO (Body Odour)," Sparrow replied.

"Time to end it," It clapped its hands together and the skies began to darken.

"I totally agree," Sparrow responded heatedly. "You may think that just because you haven't written yourself out of this fic, you can't be banished. Let me enlighten you, oh conceited, arrogant, complacent, egotistical, self-deluded Rouge La Bu! You wrote yourself into MY version of Tortall. You may bend and twist the plot to your advantage, you may crack the earth open, you may raise mountains, you may call Chaos out, you may turn Tortall to dust, but at the end of the day, I have the FINAL SAY!" Sparrow raised her arm and pointed at it, and said in a cool voice, "Rouge La Bu, you are banished from this world and never to return again!"

"NOOOO!!!" Rouge screamed and it winked out of existence.

"Whew!" Sparrow exclaimed. "That was close." She dusted herself and wished, "I wish I was back at the palace with Lynn and Ginny!"

Sparrow fell into a pool of water. "Umph!" she went and shivered. The water was cold!

"Nice of you to join us, finally," Ginny said, relaxing at the shallow end of what seemed to be an indoor swimming pool.

"No, it's not a swimming pool," Lynn chuckled. "It's in fact, a medieval bathing house."

Sparrow appeared next to Lynn and Ginny.

"You are getting a hang of your power," Daine commented, who was sitting at the edge of the pool and dangling her legs in the water. She was wearing a dress and it was hiked up to her knees.

Sparrow allowed herself to look around, "Is this.."

"Yes, the bathing thingy Daine went to when she first came here," Ginny responded.

Sparrow looked at her in surprise. Ginny shrugged, "Hey, that was MY first thought when Daine brought us here to clean up."

Sparrow smacked herself on the forehead, "How did I reach this state?"

"For those who are ignorant, HUH?" Ginny yelped.

"I mean, oh gosh, is this going to be my first RA fic?" Sparrow groaned. "My fics are all G, so far, none a PG!"

Ginny smacked Sparrow on the head, "We are not naked, stupid! Our modesty prevents us from frolicking in this water naked. We have towels wrapped around us, duh, idiot!"

"Whew!" Sparrow said. "I seem to be say that quite a bit lately. I think we would be more comfortable in swimming suits though!"

Hey Presto! They were suddenly wearing swimming suits.

"And," Lynn added. "If the water was warmer."

"You wish is my command," Sparrow said mockingly, bowing like a genie. The water instantly became warm. No surprise there.

"Thank you great genie!" Lynn replied solemnly.

"Hey, there's only room for one Ginny around here and that's me!" Ginny responded.

"That is SO corny," Sparrow commented. "Couldn't you be somewhere dry? You make my landing so uncomfortable!"

"Looks who's talking," Ginny snorted. "At least we were not sitting on some hard granite rocky place!"

"Point taken," Sparrow replied and told them what happened.

"Sorry," Lynn said, breaking the brief silence after Sparrow's tale. "But could you explain your ability to defeat him bit?"

"Well," Sparrow replied. "You see. Ginny earlier said that we each had our own versions of Tortall, right? Well, we are in MY version. MY version is shaped by my fics. Although Rouge did write itself in, I have the final say in things. For example, no matter how many fics I may write on Numair and Daine marrying, it doesn't affect Tamora Pierce's Tortall as she has the final say. I know others have written oodles of N and D marrying fics, but TP's books still indicate that N and D are single."

"Ohhh," Ginny responded. "That explains why when you hit Rouge with a hurricane and he said stop, nothing happened. Yet when Rouge commanded chimeras to attack you, you could stop it. As you have the final say in your fics."

"Correct," Sparrow replied.

"Ahhh…" Daine said. "Numair and the others would want to know what happened."

Lynn laughed, "What a subtle hint!" She inspected her hands. "We better get out before we become prunes!"

Ginny feigns surprise and remarked, "Lynn, you mean you are not a prune?"

"The strange thing is," Sparrow said, "Is why we are still here!" Sparrow had just finished telling her tale to a bemused group of Numair, Lindhall, Daine, Alanna, George, King Jonathon (who stumbled on them accidentally when he was hiding from wife no.24 and 31).

"Yeah," Ginny added. "I mean, Sparrow fulfilled two of the conditions that was stated in Numair's spell," she ticked off her fingers as she spoke. "One, is to go home after an hour, and hello, it's been about 24 hours. Two, to help Tortall. Why are we still here? We should be home by now!"

"Yeah," Lynn responded and screamed, "AND I HAVE MY CHINESE O'LEVEL ORALS TODAY!!!!"

Everyone winced.

"Shhh!" King Jonathon shushed. "Before you attract THEIR attention."

Nobody needed to ask who the "THEIR" was. Everyone silenced, they had met quite a number of King Jonathon's wives and they weren't pleasant at all.

"Oh Jonny!" s voice thrilled from the hallway.

"Gods help me!" Jonathon wailed and hastened towards the window.

"Um, your majesty, you do know that we ARE on the second floor," Lynn said respectfully.

"Isn't that the point?" He replied and dropped out of the window.

"OH MY GOSH!" Ginny yelped and ran to the window. "No, it's okay, he landed on some bushes. He's getting up..."

"JONNY?" A voice screeched.

"He's up and running. Yup, he's okay, nothing broken or anything," Ginny continued. "Man, can he RUN!"

"Anyway, back to the present topic, please don't tell me we are stuck here with no way home!" Lynn yelped.

Numair tugged his nose and had a faraway look in his eyes. "I don't know," he finally answered, shaking his head. "This spell has not at all went as it should."

"You know," Sparrow remarked in the silence that followed Numair's speech. "I have a feeling I forgot something."

"Of course, you have, silly," Lynn responded, whacking Sparrow on the head. "You have to clean up Michean's mess!"

"Oh yah hor," Sparrow said. "I wish that the snow and ice would be gone, the crack on the earth as well, the architecture all sound and as they were before Michean bomblasted it. Oh yeah, and everything I conjured up during the battle would go back where it was supposed to."

"Is Michean now, erm, safe? You might want to put it such that he would not go- " Numair asked.

"Cuckoo?" Lynn supplied.

"No, I was going to say berserk, but yes, I do believe your word does describe the situation aptly," Numair replied.

Ginny laughed, "You make it sound like he is some sort of dog that needs to be neutered."

"Okay, one neutered Michean coming up," Sparrow responded.

"Um, I didn't mean it literally," Ginny said. "I think his future spouse would mind if he becomes a eunuch." The others laughed.

"Yes, I guess he would be a tad annoyed, but I meant it figuratively," Sparrow responded. "I wish Michean would not be affected by any other fic writer's will, but mine."

Everyone looked at her with a raised brow.

"Hello!" Sparrow said. "I am planning on using him in my future fics you know! How can the plot go on if he doesn't do what I say? I also wish that other than the people in this room and King Jonathon, everyone else will forget about Michean going berserk."

"It occurred to me the obvious solution to your problem," Numair spoke up, deliberating changing the subject.

"Oh enlighten us, oh great one!" Sparrow retorted, bowing to Numair mockingly.

"Just wish yourselves back to your world," Numair replied. "My spell won't stop you as you have, after all, fulfilled the conditions of the spell."

"Oh yar hor," Lynn responded.

Silence prevailed for a while.

"Um, Sparrow," Ginny finally said. "I think that was your cue."

"Huh?" Sparrow responded. "Oh, I was just thinking that I forgot something."

"What could you possibly forget?" Lynn answered. "You didn't bring anything with you, did you?"

"Oh yes," Sparrow smacked herself on the forehead. "I forgot the autograph book and negatives! Autograph book and camera with Tortall negatives appear!"

The objects dropped on her lap. "I guess that's all," Sparrow said finally. "Though I still can't fight the vague sense that I forgot something."

"Sparrow, stop being so paranoid!" Ginny scolded gently.

"Yah, let's go home NOW before my Chinese O' level orals!!" Lynn demanded.

"All right, all right," Sparrow replied.

"Besides, if it is so important, you wouldn't forget what you forgot," Ginny responded.

"I guess so," Sparrow answered doubtfully. "Let Lynn, Ginny and I be in our home world where we originally where, in the original time."

They winked out of the room.

"Well, I guess that's over," Numair said and cuddled Daine, who was standing in front of him.

"Yes, all's well, ends well," Lindhall quoted.

"I wonder," Daine said. "What Sparrow could have possibly have forgotten?"

Meanwhile, the site where Sparrow had happily left the poor gods and goddess to hold Chaos at bay…

The place was now empty and the gods were gone. A being observed the place with interest. The mortals that have fled the place had not returned yet. Foolish things. Mortals. It stretched. IT had been imprisoned for quite some time.

It thought 'I was supposed to be trapped till the next star had fallen. It would eons before that happened. Thankfully, a being greater than those who had imprisoned me had freed me. It was good to be free. Now, I will seek revenge. Watch out! The foolish beings that crossed Chaos!'


Disclaimer: NO Sparrows or Rouge La Bus have been harmed during the writing of this fic! There is NO such person named Rouge La Bu and any body with its name alive or dead is a coincidence. No, nobody has written a Lost in Tortall fic to get lost in my version of Tortall. Daine and co., the concept of Tortall exclusively belongs to Tamora Pierce. Ginny and Lynn DO exist *grinz*, but they are VERY OOC in this fic.

Note : This is my first mega long fic. I hoped you enjoyed and it and thanx for reading it!! Feel free to send me feedback at bibliophile88@hotmail.com