TITLE: Knowing What's Been Lost

AUTHOR: Kelsey

SUMMARY: When a main character dies how will it impact Newport?

A/N: I have a bunch of chapters of this done, but I want some feedback before I post more, so please, please review!

Chapter 1

Ryan pulled his now familiar suit on numbly and tried not to remember. Things like this weren't supposed to happen here. This is Newport, sun and sand and safety. Ryan found his pre-knotted tie and tried not to think of the person who had tied it. He was only sixteen and he'd been to far too many funerals of friends. Ryan grabbed his keys and left the pool house. He avoided the main house as he'd done so often lately. Kirsten and Sandy would want to talk, they always wanted to talk, and he just wasn't ready yet.

Ryan drove down a street and glanced again at the directions he had printed off the internet. He had never been to Newport's cemetery and he hadn't wanted to ask for directions to a friend's gravesite. He turned left, he was getting close. It was a nice neighborhood, pretty. Ryan hoped the cemetery had a view of the ocean. No! No more thinking about it, it's over. Ryan sighed. No matter how many friends he buried this never got any easier.

Ryan slowed down as he deliberately drove past the cemetery. It was very Newport, intimidating metal gates and large ornate tombstones. Nicer than the one in Chino. Ryan made a U-turn. You'd think they'd make cemeteries less depressing, or maybe people will just never be comfortable around the dead.

He drove through the gates and wondered where to go, he still didn't want to ask directions to a friend's gravesite. He parked in the large main parking lot and followed some vaguely familiar people through the grass. It was a pretty day, a nice day to be outside. Then again, it's never a nice day for a funeral. He idly read gravestones as he walked, lots of babies in this part of the cemetery. It's worse to bury a teenager, Ryan decided, you don't really get a chance to know babies that well. But then Ryan had never had to bury a baby.

This was it, Ryan took a deep breath as he reached the gravesite. He looked around at all of the people, and half-smiled. Not a bad turn-out for someone who had felt so very alone. Sure there were a lot of adults, parents' friends and co-workers, but there were lots of kids from Harbor too. Some definite surprises among the attendees and Ryan wondered why they'd bothered to show up.

Kirsten put her hand on Ryan's shoulder.

"We missed you at home," she said softly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered back, "I just couldn't…"

"It's okay Ryan," Sandy stood at his other side. Ryan felt like crying, again. He realized how the three of them looked standing at the foot of this grave. Silently Ryan read.