Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.
Hiya folks. First warning I want to make is that this is a KougaxInuyasha fic so if ya don't like it please leave this minute!!
For those of you who don't mind this pairing, please enjoy. Basically, it's Kouga musing about Inuyasha and eventually realizing he is in love with him.
My mutt. That half-demon with white hair and yellow eyes. The one who keeps trying to drive Kagome away from me. I despise that worthless half-breed. He thinks he so tough when I know I could womp him with one paw tied behind my back. I could easily rid myself of that little pest, and then have no one else to challenge me for Kagome.
I don't put that little mongrel out of his misery. I don't take his life even when I know it would be all too easy. Instead I choose to just fight him and sometimes even let him win. Why do I do that? Why do I allow myself to be beaten by that no good hanyou?
As I walk through my packs domain, on this clear night I feel his presence. I look up in the moonlight only to see his image haunting my memory.
"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU MUTT! GET OUTTA MY HEAD!!", I scream angrily, trying to slice an illusion with my claws. Do you know the power you have over my Inuyasha? Do you know the power you have over my mind, how you haunt my thoughts at night? I think you do know. Do you laugh at me? do you take pleasure in knowing that you're the dominant dog? Do I amuse you, you filthy little half-breed.
I look back on all the times we've ever fought each other. You always telling me to scram and let you handle things, almost as though you were looking out for me. I recall how I would always say that Kagome was mine and I would never let you have her. But really, was I starting all those fights because I wanted Kagome, or because I wanted you.
Now I look back on the first time I saw you. After realizing that you had slaughtered my pack I wanted revenge. I thought that with those two Shikon Jewel shards at my disposal it would be an easy victory for me. But you proved me wrong dog-face. You proved more than a match for me, maybe even, dare I say stronger?
As I walk down this beaten path on the mountain side, I come across an old battlefield. Your blood's scent still lingers on the grass and the trees in this area mutt. I can still feel your presence here. I relive the battle in my mind, you constantly protecting Kagome and me trying to stop Naraku's thugs myself. I kept putting you down then, kept trying to fight you. Looking back on it, I realize how arrogant I was being, thinking I could take on Kagaromaru and Jeromaru all by myself. I remembered when Kagaromaru went right through you. I panicked. For the first time in my life I truly panicked. The scent of your blood being poured out on the grass, the scent of your fear at being ripped apart by that arrogant little bastard. After that I started fighting even harder. You thought it was because I wanted to protect Kagome, but in all honesty....
I wanted to protect YOU. I wanted to make sure that wormy jerk didn't hurt YOU anymore than he already had. I didn't want YOU to feel afraid. I wanted you to know that I would protect you, from anything whether it was Naraku's hordes or the heartbreak that this world often gives a person with its coldness.
Then I remember seeing you once by the river. It looked as though you were trying to drown yourself, splashing yourself over and over again with water.
"Damn, I can't get the scent of their blood off of me," I heard you say mournfully. You were sad, sad about someone you'd killed. Someone you hadn't meant to kill. I thought it was pitiful for you to be whining like some mongrel in the street. But then I saw your face and how sad you looked. You were truly upset because of what you'd done. I will swear even to this day that I saw tears in your eyes, even though the water you had splashed on your face hid them well. I could smell them, tears have a very distinct scent, and I could smell tears and blood all over you.
At that moment, my feelings for you changed mutt. I got a glimpse past the tough talk, fearless attitude, and fierce fighting style into the side of you that was truly afraid and shivering in fear. I almost walked out to you, to put my arms around you and assure you it was okay. But then Kagome arrived and did that for me. Do you know how close I came to crying that time mutt? How the scent of tears was now coming from me when I saw you in someone else's arms?
But being the tough, surviving demon I am, I quickly dismissed these feelings and decided that it must have been because I saw Kagome showing care towards you and not me that made me so upset. But it was the other way around mutt, I was upset because you hugged her back, because YOU were showing affection to someone else. After that, I spent a lot of sleepless nights in my pack's den thinking about you. I couldn't get you out of my mind. You haunted my every memory, my every thought, my every waking moment.
So are you happy mutt? Are you happy that you have this power over me? Do you laugh about the hold you have on my mind, and maybe even my heart? That's right mutt, through all m insults, all the names I call you, through all the fight picking. I don't want to admit it, feeling something like this only proves to the world that you have a weakness that can be used against you. I would hate myself if harm came to you simply because someone else was trying to get back at me. I could never forgive myself if I caused any pain to befall you.
Basically mutt, through everything I ever say or do to you. Through all the ways I try to fight you, and even kill you, the truth finally meets my eyes. The reality of my heart is finally freed, and the hard truth rings through the air as my soul concedes to these feelings inside of me.
I hate you, and I fight you........because I love you. All the time I pick a fight with you is just for the chance to touch you. Even though it's with a fist, or my claws, it's the one time I can actually touch you and not let down this cold barrier. I would love nothing more than to be able to touch you and know these dark feelings within me are returned. To embrace you and have you return the embrace. I would love nothing more than for you to be mine, for this dream to become reality, to hear you say you love me back.
And even if you don't return my feelings, even if you never do, even if you hate me till the end of both our days I will always hold you in this regard.
That you will always be, my mutt.
Suddenly, my ears perk up as I hear the rustling of the grass nearby. I quickly sniff at the air, the scent feeling familiar, the scent of the person I long desperately for.
"Didn't know you ever left your territory," a white-haired half demon says smartly.
"This is IN my territory mutt, I have every right ta be here as you do," I respond, arrogantly crossing my arms over my chest. Then I stare at you Inuyasha, the way the full moon shines on your hair, making you look like an angel. The way you golden eyes sparkle like stars in the midnight sky. I wish the eyes weren't filled with disgust and hate when they look at me.
I wish you would look at me with those eyes holding love in them, I wish you would call yourself, my mutt.
There you go!! I know it was really short but I'm a little bit tired and didn't have the finger power to write a lot of stuff. If you enjoyed it please review and I might put up Inuyasha's POV as the next chapter. ^_~