Bleed

Disclaimer: Buffy and Willow don't belong to me. Neither does the Goo Goo Dolls song 'Iris'. The only thing that does was this semi morbid idea. I was kinda depressed . . . Author's Notes at the bottom.

Buffy was moving about the kitchen trying to dig up some lunch. She currently was looking through the refrigerator, looking for something that wasn't covered in green fuzz. She pulled out a plastic container. "Hmmm, I think I just saw something move." She threw it over her shoulder. "Next."

She finally gathered up enough food to make something that resembled a sandwich. She took it over to the counter and set everything down. She moved to put her hands down on the counter, but didn't notice the knife that was blade up in its holder.

Buffy bit back a scream of pain as the knife sliced open her hand. She looked down, trying to assess her injuries. But she got distracted, by the thick red liquid that was currently making it's way down her arm. It's not like it was the first time she had had a wound like this, she was the Slayer after all. But it seemed different this time.

Ever since she had been brought back, she had felt different, as if she was living but had no purpose. She knew she had her calling, but she was easily replaceable. She just hadn't felt like she belonged in this world. But now she had no choice. She watched in fascination as her very life source hit the table.

She felt it sting, and she couldn't believe it. She hadn't been able to feel in such a long time. Tempted, she picked up the knife, poising it over her palm. She was feeling, and she didn't want it to stop. She wanted to be Buffy again, maybe this was the way to do it.

She didn't notice that her hands were shaking, but suddenly the knife clattered to the floor. She didn't bother picking it up, she didn't see it fall. Again, the blood had her captivated. Suddenly the song in the background caught her attention. She quickly recognized it, 'Iris' by the Goo Goo Dolls.

"And you bleed just to know you're alive." She sang quietly. She looked down at the crimson blood dribbling down her arm. "I'm alive." She whispered. She was bleeding, so she must be alive, she knew that. But why didn't she feel alive?

The question continued to puzzle her as she watched a bit of her blood fall onto the floor. Suddenly her train of thought was broken by the sound of the front door opening. "Buffy!" Willow's familiar voice rang through Buffy's ears, a comforting sound. "Buffy what's a matter?"

"Oh I just accidentally cut myself. The knife was there and I just didn't see it, nothing that's that dangerous. Don't worry Wil." She said softly. Willow nodded, and went to go get some paper towels, since they were all out in the kitchen. "And I don't want the world to see me, cuz I don't think that they'd understand, when everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am." She sang quietly, so that no one else could hear her.

Buffy Summers knew who she had once been. But now she wasn't so sure, she just wanted someone to know the woman that she had become.

'And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll

ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

'Cause sooner or later it's over

I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd

understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't

coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd

understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd

understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd

understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am'

Author's Notes: I know that the beginning didn't really fit with the idea, so that's why it wasn't a whole songfic. The line 'And you bleed just to know you're alive' just reminded me of her. Hope you guys liked it! Please review, this is my first Buffy fic, and I'd really appreciate some feedback.