Disclaimer: I own nothing the characters belong to the WB and the song "Broken Promise Ring" belongs to the Ataris.

Summary: Just a short one shot on Brooke's feelings about Lucas. Takes place after the break up.

Broken Promise Ring:

I really wanna call you, but I know that it's not right.
I probably shouldn't tell you but I dreamed of you last night.
I guess I'm not prepared to say...
Goodbye, so long, farewell, I won't be seeing you again

I never knew that darkness could be so comforting. The inky black that engulfs my bedroom matches my mood. I've been tossing and turning in my bed for hours. I was sleeping peacefully, until you invaded my dream. It's so frustrating that my every thought, and now dream consist of you. It's been two months since the breakup and you still occupy every one of my free moments.

I notice my cell phone on the cherry wood night table. It's almost like the gadget is mocking me. I reach over and throw the offending object into the drawer. It's too tempting to leave it out, because I might actually break down and call. And if I do that than there is a good chance that I will tell you how much I love and miss you, and therefore cause myself further embarrassment.

I roll over one more time, determined to fall asleep. It's a waste of time, because I know that no matter how much I try I will not be able to find slumber that my body craves. I'll spend the rest of the night thinking of you and trying to figure out what I can fix to make you love me. That's been the routine for last week and I don't see a break in it any time soon. I must be crazy, because not only did you break my heart, but also hooked up with my best friend. Yet, for some foolish reason I cannot let go.

You told me that you loved me; I started tearing down those walls.
I really started to trust you but you set me up to take the fall.
I guess I'm not prepared to say...
Goodbye, so long, farewell, I won't be seeing you again

I can't believe that I actually fooled myself into thinking that you loved me. I should know better by now. I'm just not the girlfriend type. I'm the type of girl that you use for sex and various other good times. I'm not the one that men see themselves settling down and having the perfect life with. I am not a picket white fence, 2.5 children, and apple pie housewife. I am the girl that guys wish they could bend over the picket white fence.

I had come to terms with that image of myself and I was perfectly fine until you came barging your way into my heart. You knew all the right things to say and do. Stupid naïve me let ya in and I have been paying for it ever since. Every time I see you and Peyton in school together or at the Café, a little piece of my heart dies. You have no idea how much it hurts, because I won't allow you to have that satisfaction. I hide my pain with make up and expensive clothes and no one ever notices the difference. No one knows that's this is how I spend my nights, thinking of you and how I can get you back and I am thankful for that.

I guess that I'm wrong for falling in love,
but you're still the one that I'm dreaming of.
I guess that it's you I want to hold onto,
but you're holding onto someone else.

I see the sun come up above the horizon and force myself out of bed. Another night of pining away is over and I must prepare myself to face the new day. To face you.

I have resigned myself to the fact that you are my one that got away. Everyone has his or her one true love that is untouchable and you, Lucas Scott, are mine. Just like Peyton was yours, but apparently you guys love is no longer unrequited. Well good for you two. As for me, I'll just spend my days being perfect and my nights wishing I was.