Catching Insanity 16/?

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Cute Boy God/Joan (the blasphemy!) With small hints of Joan/Adam, and Adam/Iris

Summary: God asks Joan to lie to Adam for his own good. Will she? And if she does can she live with the confusion that follows?

Authors Note: This fic is going to be about Joan's evolving feelings for God and the ensuing insanity this causes our poor heroine. If this squicks anyone read no further. Thank you kindly.

I am not exactly religious, like at all. So if I offend anyone with my off kilter interpretation of certain religious events please forgive me. This does get a little bizarre, be warned. Joan just wouldn't shut up.

Reactions and Recriminations

Gideon continued to watch her in silence as Joan began fidgeting under his all knowing stare. It was unnerving how he didn't seem to be having any kind of overt response to the kiss.

"Oh god, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I wasn't even thinking. Forgive me alright?" Joan asked shrilly, looking at a point over his shoulder before turning to run away.

"Joan calm down." He interjected gently.

"I will not calm down, damn it. I just sinned, not only that but it is the mother of all sins. I'm going to hell!"


"What?" She screamed, but at least she wasn't hysterical any longer.

"You're not going to hell."

"How would you know?" Joan sneered before she thought it through. She blushed when he didn't answer, but only raised an amused eyebrow. "Oh yeah, that."

"Yes that."

"Look it's your own fault!"

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah. You're the all-knowing one right? Well, you appeared to me."

"I am aware of that Joan." God answered calmly, making Joan's anger rise even higher, to cover for her embarrassment.

"Well good! So you could have appeared as an old decrepit wheelchair bound man, or better yet a nun."

"Would you still love me though?"

"How do you- That's not the point. I wouldn't want to make out with a hundred year old guy, and a nun would be just sacrilegious."

"I see."

"At least one of us does then." She mumbled under her breath.

"So it is not sacrilegious to be lusting after the Almighty, then?"

"I already told you I'm a terrible person. Remember the whole Hell thing?" Joan asked sarcastically. "I wish I lusted after you. It would be a heck of a lot easier to deal with."

"I love you too Joan." God told her gently, stepping closer to her as she backed up against a tree.

"Of course you do, but not like that. It's just wrong. I'm sorry I am such a freak."

"What about Mary?" God asked suddenly as tears began to gather in Joan's eyes.

"Mary who?" Joan asked although she had a fair idea where he was going with this.

"You know the whole immaculate conception thing?"

"Why are we talking about babies?" Joan screeched. "I'm too young to have any babies. My parents would kill me."

"That's not the point, Joan." He told her in his exasperated 'you understand nothing, but you are trying' voice.

"So no babies, then?" She whispered softly relaxing as God smiled at her warmly.

"No Joan. No babies."

"Whew. Had me worried there for a second." She exclaimed whipping fake sweat from her forehead.

"Mary had my child. Was that wrong?" He asked once again.

"Er… no?" She answered in the form of a question.

"Well then, why would I send you to hell for loving me? Don't you think Mary did as well?""

"That's different."


"Well, Mary hadn't…um, that is to say, you didn't…erm, is that even possible? I want… never mind. It's not important."

"Joan, are you asking if I am capable of making love?"


"I created each of you in my image, each of you are the embodiment of my love. Of course I can if I so chose to do so."

Joan looked at Gideon like he'd grown two heads, her eyes the size of saucers.

"Why is it you're blunt at a time like this, but when I want you to answer me you give me a vague answer and leave?" Joan snapped.

"It's part of my mystique." He looked amused as Joan got herself pulled together.

"Who knew God had to worry about mystique?" She grumbled. "You understand that just because we're discussing this doesn't mean that I'm…"

"I understand, Joan." He answered, gently brushing a piece of hair behind her ear. "We should probably be getting you home before it gets too late."

"Good idea." She said shivering as a particularly strong wind blew through. She didn't comment when Gideon placed his arm around her, nor when he pulled her closer.

"By the way Joan." Gideon spoke softly as they continued walking out of the park. "I love you too."

Although Joan wasn't sure what exactly that meant to God, or what it entailed for their relationship if anything at all, she couldn't help the warmth that spread about her body at his words. She sighed comfortably and relaxed against his welcoming embrace. They walked in silence the rest of the way home.