Conversations from the Unemployment Line
Recently WWE has recently released and/or lost several of its super stars. Here are their conversations while standing in the unemployment line.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Here we see Brock Lesnar, standing in line at the unemployment office. After receiving several strange look from adults under 5 feet tall, he's become very uncomfortable and starts biting his nails.
Just then Brock hears a loud thud on the door and noises that sound like a goat with emphysema coming from the back of the line. Curiosity getting the better of him, he turns around and is greeted by the gopher like face of none other than wrestling legend Goldberg!
Goldberg waves to Brock and he gets out of line to join Goldberg in the back… maybe people will stop starring at him now.
"Hey Goldie, what the hell are you doing here?"
"What the hell do you think I'm doing here you stupid Neanderthal! The same thing your doing here! Looking for job, we both left WWE for bigger profits and neither one of us had success at finding anything! Looks like the demand for wrestlers out in the work force isn't to great, and Hollywood decided that since wrestling isn't popular anymore, they can't put us and our limited acting skills in movies and make tons of money!"
"DAMN IT! That's why the NFL didn't want me!"
"Umm… no, its because you don't play football you dumb ass."
"Well what are we going to do Goldie? Lets just go beg for our jobs back!"
"Do you actually think that would work?"
"Well it got me a match at Wrestle Mania didn't it?
"Yeah, and after how badly we both got booed, you think they'd hire us back? Dumb ass… hello! We got the fucking BORING chant, ON WRESTLE MANIA! Productions freaks out when you get the boring chant on Velocity!"
"SOME BODY CALL MY MAMMA!"
"What the fuck was that?!" Brock turned around to see Ernest "The Cat" Miller dancing towards the back of the line.
"Hey, Cat, get over here!" Brock tried to yell quietly.
"Hey homies, get down wit cha bad self!" He started doing the moon walk.
"I think I might understand why HE is here!" Brock said aside to Goldberg.
"Dude, stop dancing, your in a frickin' unemployment line!"
"HIT MY MUSIC!"
The lady at the desk looked up and turned up the elevator music that had been playing in the background.
"Wow, this is so annoying." Goldberg said to himself as Brock jumped out of line to dance with The Cat.
Loud shrieks were heard all of a sudden as a white flash ran back and forth past the line. Finally, Goldberg being the only sane one, reached out and grabbed the white flash, only to discover it was a nude Brian Kendrick.
"OH MY GAWD! DUDE! What the-- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" Goldberg's voice rose about 3 pitches too high.
"Trying to find a job."
"A job doing WHAT?!"
"I was thinking male prositution… I've heard it makes big bucks. Sadly though, I've been running around like this all day, and I haven't gotten any takers."
"I can see why." A man said from behind Goldberg. They both turned around, startled to see that it wasn't a man at all, it was Shaniqua!
"AHH! Shaniqua! What the hell are you doing here!?" Spanky screeched in all his glory.
"Yeah, what the hell.. Man.. I mean.. dude… AHH! Girl.. You haven't even been fired yet!"
"Yeah, but they sent me away to OVW, and I figured I might as well save myself the time and just quit right then and there."
There was a loud crash. Goldberg, Shaniqua, Spanky, Brock and The Cat all turned to look and saw a techno-colored man leaping off a 20 foot ladder onto some unsuspecting citizens eating lunch.
"JEFF HARDY WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING!?!" Goldberg marched over to the vibrant young man and drug him by the collar back to the line.
" Hey, don't take it out on me man, just because WWE actually lost FANS when they fired me is no reason to get all pissed off."
Growls could be heard from everyone in the group.
"Whoa.. Okay, you guys are reeeealllly starting to freak me out, welp, gotta fly!" Jeff took off in the opposite direction and was never seen again.
"Which one of you is responsible for him!" A screechy voice asked as she marched to the wrestler crowd.
"Yeah? Why aren't you guys at work?"
"We all got fired. Or quit because we're big whiny losers."
"Ahahaha! Bet you wish you could live like the billion dollar princess!"
"Are you forgetting that you got fired?"
"No. I don't need a job anyway." She stuck up her nose and crossed her arms.
"Then why the hell are you at an unemployment office?"
Silence from Stephanie soon followed.
"Hey guys look! We're almost to the front of the line!" Brock shrieked in excitement.
Finally when they reached the desk, everyone was taken aback in amazement at who was sitting behind the counter.
"Oh, hello everyone. How can I help you find a job today?"
"Mr. McMahon, what the hell are you doing here!?"
"Oh didn't you guys hear? WWE went bankrupt. Yepp, I lost all of my fortune paying back debts and paying off angry unemployed wrestlers. Apparently it was something in the ratings… about our shows just not being interesting anymore… wrestling and writing just being under par. We just couldn't keep um on the channel anymore. I think they found re-runs of Martha Stewart Living a little bit more interesting. So we were forced to shut down, but hey, you know there are plenty of up-and-coming independent circuits that could probably use your help. Why don't you go apply for jobs there, oh yeah, they don't want you, BECAUSE YOU'LL JUST KILL THEIR PROMOTIONS TOO!"
"Hey, what about me Daddy?" Stephanie asked.
"And me?" Jeff had returned from his hiatus into the unknown.
"Oh, all except you too of course! Now get out of here, you're holding up my line! Time is money!"
Everyone stood in shock as Mr. McMahon yelled 'NEXT!' and they were ushered out of the unemployment line… never to be employed again.
A/n: So, what did you think? Review please!