For those who wanted a shonen-ai version of Dragon's Silence, this is a rewrite of both tears and silence.
I apologize for the long delay. But you see, I needed a plot to tie this in to. So, I had to write another shonen-ai fic. Turned out writing a couple. In any case, it's finally here. This one can be tied into 'Pokemon Special' or 'Mirror my Reflection'. ^-^ More shonen-ai goodness!
Warnings: SHONEN-AI Championshipping (Ash/Lance), plus semi one-sided AAMRN
Ages: 17 for Ash, 21 for Lance
Notes: for telepathy, ** for thoughts, italics for pokemon chattering like little birdies.
If the title in Spanish makes no sense, I apologize for butchering the language.
ALTERNATE UNIVERSE obviously. I'm assuming Ash went into training after the Orange League to better himself.
WARNING: Insanity later on in the fic. This is a one-shot
Title: Lagrimas y Silencia del Dragon
Chapter 1: Gift or Curse
Ash stared at the packed dirt of the stadium floor in front of him. At last, his trials and tribulations were over. His goal was within reach.
It was so close…
Misty and Brock cheered from the stands.
He stared across the arena and met startling golden eyes. The Dragon Master, the last one who stood between him and his dream.
Lance was watching him, waiting for him to make the first move.
Ash smiled. "Aerodactyl, go!"
The fossil dragon soared out, encountering Lance's Gyarados. A Hydro Pump quickly downed his own dragon.
Lance continued to watch, not saying a word.
Ash quickly threw out Venusaur with an order for Leech Seed, tying up Gyarados, but not before an Ice Beam from the same serpent downed Venusaur. Poor girl.
"You think Ash will be okay?" Brock asked.
"I hope so… Gyarados is Lance's weakest pokemon!"
Gyarados was still conscious, as Ash's Charizard attacked. Hyper beam and Fire Blast collided, and the dragon finally fell.
With a flick of his wrist, Lance recalled it and switched for a Dragonair. Roaring with claws extended for a Slash move, Charizard pounced.
He was too slow.
Dragonair evaded and then shot Thunderwave over the area, freezing up Charizard's motions.
That and Surf combined with Bubblebeam forced the fire type back into its poke ball. Lance continued to look at Ash with that unnerving stare.
Blastoise's Blizzard took Dragonair down though.
A second Dragonair was dispatched, and also defeated. However, Lance looked not at all worried.
Lance's own Aerodactyl now joined the battle. Ouch, that rockslide must have hurt. In any case, Blastoise also vanished.
The electric mouse leaped at aerodactyl, spitting electric death. His cheeks sparked angrily, intending to take the other pokemon down.
However, Aerodactyl was fast, very fast… surprisingly ever speedier than the speed-based Pikachu. An Earthquake quickly stopped that match.
Lance waited as Ash tossed out his last pokemon. There was a collective gasp as it was revealed.
It was an Articuno.
The last two matches sealed the fate of two, as Ash became Pokemon League Champion.
And of course, with that revelation came the necessary clause. He proposed to Misty Waterflower.
She accepted, of course. The flash bulbs clicked and printers whirred as the news spread over the continent.
It set the stage for the disaster that was to come.
Lance had vanished after the awards ceremony. It was nothing out of the ordinary, the Dragon Master's love for privacy was well known.
Still, Claire wasn't sure if her brother was all right.
She worried about him.
Lance had shown her memories from his past, and it involved Ash Ketchum to a great deal.
Destroying that connection in this life might have severe repercussions. It wasn't only her brother's mental state at stake.
It could be the entire world.
"I guess part of it depends on if Misty can make him happy…" Claire mused. "Power in the wrong hands is always dangerous."
Her Dragonair nodded.
"Well, we should head back to Dragon's Den."
Claire climbed on and she flew off into the night sky.
"Of course I'm not angry." Lance said in a calm tone. "After all, I'm only here to protect him."
Master, stop that. Dragonair said.
"It's true." Lance smiled crookedly. "And I can protect him much better if he's not fixated on me."
Aerodactyl and Gyarados exchanged looks.
This hadn't happened before, but they could tell the future.
It didn't look very pretty at the moment.
I hope Master is all right…
He doesn't sound that way to me. Gyarados replied.
You don't think he's mad?
He's probably just dealing with this stress in a different way. Dragonite told the two.
They did not sound convinced.
Lance stared at his reflection as he brushed out his long red hair, taking special care with the silver and gold streaks in it. "Now, what method should I use?"
On the desk next to him rested a necklace, a clear gem with a pair of silver dragon's wings flanking it.
"That would work, of course." Lance said, putting his fingers on it briefly. "Yes…I'd be able to protect him without anyone knowing…"
"I'm fine, Kairyuu." Lance said.
He did sound fine, but…
Dragonite decided to keep an eye on his master. Just in case.
He did not want a snapped Dragon Master on his hands to explain to Lugia. Oh no, not at all.
"Oh Ash…" Misty whispered. "I can't believe this is finally happening."
"Me neither." Ash said.
They shared a passionate kiss.
It wasn't too hard to figure out what happened afterwards.
The day after…
Lance's eyes glazed over, feeling the call from Lugia. Yes.
Lugia sounded sorrowful more than anything else. What happened?
What do you mean?
I mean the fact that Ash slept with Misty Waterflower. Lugia said sternly. The Pidgey brought news this morning. How could you let that happen?
I can't control his heart. Lance said simply. You know that.
Yes, but-. Lugia's frustration jangled along the psychic link. Don't you love him?
An angry blue blazed in Lance's eyes. Of course I love him! But what can I do about it if he loves another?
Windows began to shatter in the plateau.
Calm yourself, my Chosen. I am not accusing you.
Your tone states otherwise.
I apologize. I am simply distracted by the destruction we may face.
I see. Lance said, slowly cooling down himself.
Therefore, I want you to keep an eye on him again.
Yes, Lugia. I will protect the child of light.
That is all I ask.
Lugia cut talks then.
Every window was broken by the time Lance's rage subsided. It was lucky no one knew he had caused it.
As it were, builders had to be engaged to fix the mess.
The Dragon Master sat on the roof, dangling his legs over the edge as he listened to Ash and Misty engaged in a passionate bout of love making just inside the entrance to the Plateau.
A twisted parody of a smile graced his features as he waited for the inevitable shock.
It was not long in coming. He had waited a week, and now, the time had come.
Ash backed away from Misty, a horrified look on his face.
Misty cackled. "Yes, what did you think?" She asked. "Why would anyone waste time with a useless fool like you."
Lance found him red-eyed and shaky the next morning.
"It didn't go well with Misty?" He asked deliberately.
Ash trembled, turning pale. "N-no…"
"So you broke up?"
Ash opened his mouth, but nothing came out. His eyes glanced from side to side, panicked, as Misty walked in the door.
"Hello Ash." She purred enticingly.
"What is going on here?" Lance asked.
"Stay away from me!" Ash said, hiding behind Lance. "Don't come any closer!"
"That's not going to save you." Misty said, her form melting and reforming, claws stretched out as she jumped.
Ash closed his eyes. * Just kill me and be done with it! Stop toying with me! *
There was a resounding *clang*.
Ash tentatively snuck a peek. Misty had been flung into the wall, from where she was extricating herself, hissing madly.
Lance's eyes gleamed bluely as another bolt of power flung her away.
"Stay away from the Child of Light, demon." He said.
"He invited me in…" Misty purred. "I hold claim over him now."
"You think you can defeat me?" Misty taunted. "As if!"
Lance focused his power, the Blade of Ice appearing in his hands. "Of course. As Dragon Master I have special powers to take care of fiends like you."
In one quick stroke, Misty's head was gone and her body followed, turning to fine cream-colored dust.
Lance turned to a still-shaking Ash and picked him up. "Don't' worry, Child of Light. I'd never hurt you."
Ash simply cried while Lance held him. Terror and wonder mingled together, and his mind refused to think on it. It had to protect itself some other way.
Chapter 2: Shelter and Shield
It had been almost two weeks since the incident and Ash was still not yet fully recovered. Of course, it had been a great shock.
He followed Lance around like a lost puppy.
The newspapers hailed the strange disappearance of Misty Waterflower as proof for alien kidnappings, but Ash knew the truth.
And oh, how he wished he didn't know.
Lance had given him the necklace with the dragon's wings on it, and he wore it twenty-four seven.
It was almost his only rope to sanity. Almost, but not quite…
Ash repressed a bubble of hysterical laughter when he saw the news was still broadcasting Misty's death.
They called it a tragedy.
Oh, it was, but not in the way they thought. He had almost lost his life back then! Good thing he knew how to run.
Very good… and Articuno had hidden him in Seafoam that night. He had shivered through the cold, but the physical discomfort was nothing compared to his rampaging thoughts.
How could Misty be that thing?
And yet, when she had tried to eat him… there was no joke.
That was no joke, it was the simple truth.
Lance was brushing his hair now. It felt nice, long, smooth strokes. Ash idly wondered what it would feel like to touch the Leader of the Elite Four.
He rubbed the dragon necklace, feeling the warm pulse of the gem underneath his fingers. Shiny white light, so pretty!
So, so pretty, little pretty things in an ugly world made life better.
Lance was still combing his hair, and that was nice, nice…
Impulsively, he turned around and kissed Lance on the lips. That was sweet too.
Honey and sugar and ice…
Yummy, so sweet…sweet like ice cream on a hot day, the purest breath of fresh mountain air.
Lance looked surprised. Why? Was it wrong to kiss him?
It was so sweet though.
So he did it again.
This time, Lance didn't pull away. He just held him more tightly. It was so warm…
He snuggled. His eyes hurt, so he closed them.
He fell asleep in Lance's arms.
This is a complication I did not foresee…
You figure this out now, Lugia?
On the plus side, Misty is dead and you can protect him.
Oh, I'll definitely need to protect him the way he is now. He's practically a child!
Don't worry, my Chosen, I trust in you.
I'm so touched by your confidence. Lance sent back sarcastically.
Lugia shut off the talks before anything else happened.
"I could try inducing his memories…" Lance considered, as he tucked Ash into bed. "But that might cause him to go into shock dealing with the Misty situation."
"Why are things so complicated?"
I have no idea.
"I knew that Dragonite."
Sighing, Lance closed the curtains, turned down the lights, and decided to take a nap himself.
Ash woke up a few hours later into the night. Feeling lonely, he climbed off the top bunk and squirmed into Lance's covers along with him.
He promptly fell asleep, cuddled up against his savior.
Lance woke up the next morning to a feeling of weight on his legs.
"Ohayo." Ash purred.
Lance blinked. "Ohayo to you too."
"Can you make me pancakes today?"
The other Elite didn't know the whole truth about Ash's state. Lance told them that he had seen Misty commit suicide and that was the problem.
It was a viewpoint of truth.
After washing up, Lance quickly whipped up a batch of delicious chocolate chip pancakes for his little koibito.
"Arigato!" Ash said, digging in with a will.
Lance smiled in response, cutting up a pancake neatly and eating the pieces with a fork.
He liked being able to cook well.
Pikachu watched with no small amount of concern.
I hope Ash is all right…
Me too. Blastoise said.
I think the Dragon Master is taking good care of him though. Charizard said, with a pleased growl.
Venusaur sweatdropped. * I think it's obvious… *
Lance watched as Ash busied himself with the small tasks of everyday life, his mind still refusing to face the truth.
Don't you worry about a thing, pretty little child of light.
Haven't I promised I'll protect you forever?
I'll do anything for you, you know. Anything.
Pretty little light running away from darkness, we can't let the dark touch you, oh no, we can't.
Pretty, pretty little light.
Pretty little one.
Lance stroked Ash's hair and held him as the boy climbed into his lap with a contented smile, simplicity.
Timeline: 6 months later
Chapter 3: Succumb
The governing council of Indigo, a five member secret organization, was in the midst of a heated discussion.
"We can't let him stay there! The boy's insane!"
"I do admit his behavior has been quite aberrant." Another voice spoke up. "But he was the first to defeat the Elite Four."
"We can't have a champion with mental problems! It's terrible for our image!"
"But he can still battle without problems."
Derek laughed scornfully. "Only when Lance is with him. Have you noticed that? I wonder…"
"How do we know that the Dragon Master isn't just whispering instructions into his ears?"
"We don't." Giovanni said patiently, breaking in from where he had been sitting quietly. "But Ash is commanding his pokemon himself."
"How can you tell?"
resisted the urge to sweatdrop or super-deform. He was a dignified gym leader
"Ash's pokemon won't listen if Lance is the one giving them orders." Giovanni patiently explained. "I've tried several experiments on it with my own. They wouldn't even listen to my wife."
Satisfied, the council sat down once more.
"But we can't keep him as a national hero! Scandal!"
"I think we should dispose of him." Jon said cruelly, a slash of vermilion in his white face.
Giovanni stood up. "I am not partaking in this discussion further."
Without another word, he strode out angrily.
The other four busied themselves, trying to determine which mode of tragic death would evoke the most sympathy.
Yes… it would be a fitting end. Plus, no blame. Instead, the trainer's fame would live on.
They didn't even consider Ash's feelings. To them, he was just a display ornament and a advertising module.
Quite funny, how things turned out.
Ash hummed, as his pokemon ran around in the sunshine. "You all okay?"
Various nods came from the pokemon.
Lance was keeping his company, as always.
Ash's warped view on the world had evolved, so now he clung to Lance like a drowning sailor.
It was obsession, pure and simple.
What other word could describe it?
Lance certainly didn't mind; it made his job of protecting Ash infinitely simpler. After all, the trainer followed him around everywhere.
However, he did tell him to lay off the affection in public. Not in words though. No, Lance wasn't manipulative for nothing.
He simply cuddled him when Ash sat down next to him, and Ash would be quiet. Conditioning? Perhaps.
The other elites had grown used to it. Somewhat.
Bruno was still freaked out.
Lorelei thought it was cute and commented that maybe they could play brothers or cousins so the media would lay off.
Agatha didn't practically care. After all, what was it to her? Ghost woman.
Lance certainly didn't mind it.
After all, the last time he had tried to leave Ash hadn't been a pleasant affair. Ash had clung onto him, whimpering 'Don't leave me' over and over.
And then the tears… he couldn't bear to see his little koibito cry.
So he stayed.
Ash had nightmares for days after that.
Routines were comforting things, very calm. That was why Lance woke him up every morning with breakfast ready, spent the mornings studying and reading, and in the afternoon they trained their pokemon together.
Ash needed all the stability he could get.
Poor little one…
He was drawing pictures of pikachus now, paper and colored pencils littering the desk.
Lance checked on him, satisfied that he wasn't crying, and then gave him a hug.
"You like it, Lance?" Ash asked, holding up a picture.
It was a pikachu standing in a meadow. Butterflies flew around it.
"Very nice." Lance said, unfolding the creased paper.
I loved her, you know. I did! Even if people say it's a lie, I loved her!
What would you do if your girlfriend suddenly turned into a fanged, clawed wild beast and then attempted to rip your head off?
So lucky Articuno was with us.
She froze Misty, picked me up, and flew off. And you know, me, stupid, silly little useless trainer; all I could do was cry.
I am worthless! Why does he care? Why would he care about me?
No one else did… not father, so…
There were so many threads behind blank chocolate eyes.
Timeline: 1 week
Chapter 4: Protect me forever
He was drawing, that was a warm feeling.
The markers swished and swooshed over the white paper, as beautiful little creatures sprung out from clear doorways.
He touched one, surprised when his fingers came in with dark blue stains on them.
Why were they bleeding? Markers didn't bleed.
No, blood red, red on the grass, drops falling…
Run, run, run, but you can't get away because he's still chasing you…
faster and older and you can't do anything!
Help, someone, help!
Small, so small, but Poliwag was falling, and they were so far… far from the safe water where he could finally forget…
Red and white and pain…
Someone help me…
Shrugging, Ash picked up another marker and continued to color.
Pretty pikachus! They danced up and down the pages.
red and yellow and green pikachus, swimming and sleeping and running and
His pokemon sat in a protective ring around him.
No matter what, they would stay. You didn't leave because master was having problems.
If you did, you became an outcast.
Of course, if your master was beating you, there was a natural right to survive and flee. But that was it.
Stupid master? Bad luck.
It was a good thing Ash was getting better. Ever since Orange League, he had been improving. That was important.
Even though instinct worked, you needed fast calculations.
And so there they were.
Time and time and time…
One last pikachu found life under colored paints, and then the trainer stepped back with a shy smile.
"Isn't it pretty?"
"Very pretty." Lance said, glancing at the shiny green fur. True, it was wrong colors, and childish technique, but recognizable as a pikachu.
"Can I have a snack now?"
Lance handed him a chocolate milkshake, which Ash ate slowly, stirring with a spoon every so often.
Chocolate was sweet. Pure, melting yumminess!
Sweet, not with a bitter aftertaste like some people said. Cool and frosty on his tongue like winter air, sweet
Sweet and cold and soft…
Snow. Snowflakes fall, like stardust. Stars shine and shine.
Pretty, pretty white and gold and shiny…
Snow was nice. They could run in it, and throw snowballs, and cheer, and on some days you could pour maple syrup on the snow and make candy!
Candy was sweet too.
Yummy and maple and cold ice all swirling over his tongue.
Taste and taste and eat, until you were full.
Yummy candy, sweet and cold and so pretty!
Snowballs hurt if they hit, but he was fast!
Fast, run, wind, cold wind on your face, running.
Cold and sweet and yum
He finished eating the milkshake, placed the cup and spoon in the sink, and then went back to his drawing.
This time, it was lots of hearts and flowers.
Oh well. Maybe his mind would return, but only when it wanted to.
Lance kept him company, and that afternoon, they trained their pokemon together. It was routine.
And it kept him safe.
threads dancing all over the place, sparkles of light and color!
Jon watched outside the window scornfully.
"What a waste of life…"
Anger surged through him, once again.
After all, Ash had turned out to be a worthless son, just like he had the last time. The only reason Jon hadn't been able to do anything about it was that blasted trainer protecting him.
In fact, curse them all!
Well, now Jon had his chance. He had full permission to knock off this worthless life. Exactly what he had been dreaming of…
He smiled at his partner.
Janet was not impressed. She was a professional hired hit woman, and she did not appreciate a blundering, emotional idiot following her around.
"We might have to kill more than Ash."
"Impossible." Jon said. "We need the others alive."
"Procedure." Jon said shortly.
Janet glared. "Fine! Let's do this!"
They charged inside.
Chapter 5: Porcelain Doll
As a rule, when Lance uses magic, the strings are invisible to all except him and the ones he is protecting. So…
It was no surprise when Janet tripped and her gun misfired, breaking a window… except maybe for Janet.
Then, the weight of a Dragonite landing on top of her couldn't have been pleasant.
Dragonites are very heavy pokemon if they can beat Snorlax in a wrestling match. Right? Right.
Lance looked mildly amused as Ash clung to him, not liking the disturbance.
Dragonite blew Janet to bits. At least the strength of the beam vaporized her so there was no mess to clean up.
"One more…" Lance said, as he closed his eyes again.
Ash's necklace glowed warmly, and then suddenly, Lance shifted. It was the only word for it, as Lance transformed into full dragon form.
Pure white scales, sharp silver claws, teeth, and wings… blue eyes.
Lance returned a few minutes later, purring as he curled around Ash's body protectively.
Ash hugged the pokemon… of course a pokemon, tightly.
Lance smiled, slitted blue eyes focusing on more danger. Satisfied that there was none, he stayed in the form as not to shock Ash again.
A week passed. Two, and then three…
Ash hugged the dragon tightly as he watched the rainfall. Again.
This seemed to be repeating itself.
But he didn't mind. Lance was so warm.
Warm and soft and cuddly
Sweet, pretty, pretty…
Darkness that was warm and soft and pretty.
The prettiest darkness of all, Lance was so dark, but the darkness was so pretty! Smiling, Ash kissed the dragon on the head, just below the little horns.
Cold like ice at times, but sweeter than snow and sugar…
Lance shifted back, as Ash continued to hug him.
"Pretty." Ash whispered, touching his face.
A wry smile crossed the Dragon Master's lips.
Soon, he would be ready.
Ash was stepping into the darkness eagerly now, and so, they could begin the cleansing process.
Just like old times…
He was brought back to reality when Ash kissed him.
"Yes, my little light." Lance whispered, looking into those clouded brown eyes. "Yes…"
He rubbed the necklace as Lance fed him grapes.
Those were sweet too.
His brown eyes stayed unfocused. His mind was falling deeper, drowning in the present sweetness as the past was getting erased.
Lance would always protect him. Never hurt him.
Not like Misty
And not like his father either…
You think he's getting better? Pikachu asked.
Even if he isn't, he's getting ready to begin the attack.
We'll help him too.
It's for the sake of the pokemon. We're honored he chose us.
It didn't matter, much, that the timid little one needed him. Lance liked it that way. They were two halves, after all.
Darkness and light until light fell to darkness.
He fed Ash another grape.
Pity about his mind though, it would never unlock under these circumstances. Because the little one had to be kept happy and safe, Lugia said.
And for Lance, from his point of view, the best way was to erase those horrible things in the past.
Yes… that was the best way.
They would get rid of all Ash's unpleasant memories so he would only have the future beauty to look to.
It would not fail.
Lance smiled as Ash kissed him again.
Plus, the boy was his now.
And Lance wanted it to stay that way.
It did not matter what he had to do to keep the light from slipping out of his fingers.
Such a pretty, precious little one, so delicate… You'll die without me taking care of you.
And you love me.
I've killed them, they tried to take away your happiness. You'll never have to fear them again.
Be happy now, little one.
Lance tucked Ash into bed, and then contacted Lugia.
Chapter 6: Succumb
You have done well, my Chosen.
Lugia smiled. Not at all… the light shines in him still?
Yes, but he is… attracted… to my darkness.
Quite. Lance frowned. How is the situation?
A year at the most, farther than that shall be too late.
well. I am training him already.
That I know well. He will know when he is ready. Take care of yourself, my Chosen.
With that, Lugia hung up.
Lance came back to reality when Ash's hands started to go somewhere they really shouldn't be going, especially since he was trying to keep the boy innocent. Really! There was a difference between kissing and then… well…
He looked into those adorable chocolate eyes.
"You're warm…" Ash whispered, hugging him.
"Didn't I tell you to go to bed?"
"I was cold." Ash pouted.
"I see…" Lance said. "But didn't I get you a stuffed Dratini to sleep with?"
"It got lost." Ash sniffled.
Lance sighed. "All right, you can sleep with me."
Lance blinked, only then realizing that it sounded wrong. Still, all Ash did was climb into the covers next to him.
Lance fell asleep after that.
He woke up the next morning, made breakfast, and woke us up. Thus, another generic day began.
Lugia watched for a few minutes, and then let them be.
Yes, it would work out…
Ash's pokemon were gathering and becoming stronger, as the dream realm opened and its powers suffused the two guardians.
It would work…
The cards swirled and danced around them as they sat in silence.
Well, mostly silence.
Lance sighed. Ash was being an insistent little, well, he wasn't sure quite what word to put.
his hands on Ash's shoulders. "We shouldn't be doing this."
Lance sighed. "Because I don't want you to throw yourself at me if you don't want to."
Ash blinked. "But…I do want you." He kissed Lance again.
Lance paled. "That's not quite what I meant either…" *Must maintain control… I can't taint him with my darkness if he's not ready… *
Still, the squirming was definitely not doing anything for the Dragon Master's already shattered emotions.
"I am not
going to give in to this…" Lance reminded himself, trying to keep control. "I
"You're so sweet." Ash whispered, as he placed another kiss on Lance's lips. "So sweet…Lance-chan…"
Lance sighed. "Ash…"
know you love me." Ash smiled, a flicker in his eyes but that was quickly wiped
out by the blurry tones. "Kiss me?"
"I know that too. But we can't just-." Lance froze, staring at Ash like a Stantler caught in the headlights, as Ash's hands slid down his shirt and continued downwards. "I give up… as long as you're happy, little one…"
Lance sighed. * Well, if this makes him happy… then who am I to deny him? I'll never make him cry… *
Pretty and warm and sweet and wet and so warm…
Yes, ice and fire and lightning all melding and it was sweet, so sweet and perfect…
Mewling and yes, yes, so warm…
Dancing among the stars, pretty lights, pretty…
Pretty little one
I'll protect you and keep you happy, pretty little one.
No one will ever hurt you, I'll kill him first of all. Don't' you know? Of course you do.
Pretty and sweet and warm and cuddly…
So warm and pretty…
Marshmallows and melting vanilla ice cream and strawberries and chocolate all a waterfall of fire…
But love and trust is the same thing, and he'll never hurt me. He loves me. I love him, too. But he'll never, ever hurt me. Never.
Cold, so cold, like winter, but so sweet…
Ice and snow and frozen lakes, cold, but never hurt, it never, never hurts… so hard, like steel….
It didn't hurt at all.
Cold, freezing, ice that held him gently and rocked him.
He was freezing, but he didn't care.
It made the hurt go away.
Lance-chan… I love you too…
Chapter 7: Hate
Lance watched the sleeping teen with a mix of emotions. Ash slept, blissfully silent and wrapped in a layer of blankets. Lance had bathed him and dressed him in pajamas after their consummation.
"What happened to your control, Dragon Master?" He asked bitterly. Self-loathing danced in those golden eyes.
"Why couldn't you put him to sleep or something simple like that when he started touching you? He didn't even know what he was doing! You just raped a child! What sort of protector are you? You couldn't even protect him from yourself…"
Frustrated, but with nowhere to turn, the Dragon Master sighed and continued to watch the sleeping child.
"This can never happen again…"
I have to be able to protect you. But I can't even protect you from myself…
This can never happen again. Never.
I will stop it. I cannot fail again. I cannot!
Poor little one… what have I done to him?!
His light will fade, and it will all be my fault…
I couldn't even control my lust…
And I claim to love him! What a joke.
What have I done…what have I done…
Poor little one…
You would be safer without me, but you need me… let this be my punishment then. I will never touch you again…
Please, Lugia, help me…
From somewhere else, Lugia shook his head. * Why is my Chosen still so blind… his own feelings are never enough… I know the Child of Light loves him… *
But he must discover this on his own…
I cannot help.
He must learn this lesson on his own…
Chosen, why are you so stubborn?
The next day…
Ash woke up, feeling cold. Looking around, he saw that Lance was not in bed. Shrugging, Ash changed out of his pikachu-print pajamas into a dark red tank top and jeans, and went to find Lance.
He found Lance making breakfast.
"Good morning." Lance said in a subdued tone. "I made cherry-berry muffins."
"Yay!" Ash cheered, launching himself at the Dragon Master.
Lance caught him in midair with dragon magic easily and put him down gently. "Now, now."
Ash frowned, but breakfast got his attention and he applied himself to the yummy food.
Sweet and warm and yummy…
Like yesterday, even though Lance was cold, very cold…
But it was a warm coldness.
Maybe today, they could play again?
Ash grinned as he ate breakfast and then got out his markers.
It was time to draw again.
He drew rainbows and goldfish today.
Then, Ash read a few books, played with his pokemon, ate lunch, and finished another picture.
"I hope Lance-chan likes this one…"
as he noticed Lance was watching him with arms crossed and not holding him. He
liked being held!
It was so warm and soft…
Smiling, Ash walked over with the picture.
"Lance-chan? You like it?"
A tangela, Lance mused, looking at the drawing. He nodded.
Ash jumped at the trainer again.
Lance reacted as before, magic catching Ash before the boy could reach him. * I will not fail this time… *
So close… I will not lose control. I have to keep my own promises.
"Lance-chan?" Ash looked confused. "Why aren't you holding me? I like it…"
"It's not good for you." Lance explained, hoping that Ash would take that.
"Yes, its dangerous."
"Oh…" Ash said in a small voice. He shrugged and took a sip of his hot chocolate.
That was warm too, but it just wasn't the same.
That afternoon, they trained their pokemon, and then went to bed.
Ash was very surprised when Lance climbed onto the top bunk and went to sleep without a word.
Even though he had a new teddy Pikachu, it wasn't the same…
No, it wasn't.
Pikachus weren't warm!
And it wasn't soft.
Why didn't Lance hold him? That was nice and soft and warm…
He didn't care if it was dangerous!
A bit sadly, Ash went to bad after brushing his teeth.
Does he hate me too, now? Like Misty and father?
The shielded mind still mused.
Please don't hate me, Lance-chan… please!
Don't leave me alone…
Please, don't' leave me alone…
Timeline: 1.5 weeks
Chapter 8: Tripwire
Ash may not have been a perceptive child, but even he knew something was wrong.
Sure, Lance-chan was still nice, but…
He wasn't warm anymore…
What did I do wrong?
Do you hate me?
Please don't hate me…
He looked over at Lance.
The Dragon Master was grooming his Dragonair. Dragonair purred in a pleased tone, blue eyes half-closed in pleasure.
Ash suddenly felt very, very, angry towards the Dragonair.
Jealousy reared its green head.
I thought I was important…
Why? Aren't I prettier than that pokemon?
Why do you hate me?
Don't hate me…
I'm pretty! You said so! Am I not pretty enough now?
Please… I need you, Lance-chan.
Come back, please.
I thought I was pretty…
Please… please, just look at me…
Ash deliberately tripped, dropping his sketchbook and color pencils. Lance stopped the grooming, as he walked over and helped Ash stand up.
Not touching, of course. It was just manipulation of the air currents.
Lance handed Ash his dropped belongings. "Be careful, pretty little one. It is dangerous here."
He called me little one!
And he said I was pretty!
I'm pretty! I'm pretty! So there! I'm pretty!
He thinks I'm pretty!
The Dragon Master checked him over for injuries. Satisfied there were none, he took Ash to the kitchen and made him some lemonade.
Tangy and sweet and cool…
Ash looked at Dragonair happily. * I won!*
He drank all the lemonade.
After all, Lance-chan had made it just for him.
Dragonair simply blinked her large eyes in complete confusion, not understanding his hostility.
What was wrong with him?
To his happiness, Lance stayed with him the rest of the day.
He still didn't touch, but… at this moment in time, it was enough for Ash.
He smiled for the first time in days.
That night, when he was sure Lance was asleep, Ash began phase 2 of the plan. With Venusaur's help, they managed to get Lance into the same bed.
Ash cuddled up to the older boy happily and fell asleep.
He slept well for the first night in a week.
The next morning, Ash managed to wake up first and get Lance back to bed before the Dragon master realized what he had done.
Lance woke him up an hour later, and a day began normally enough. This pattern continued for a few weeks.
Lance simply assumed Ash had adjusted to the new degree of coldness, and was glad everything had worked out.
Thank you, Lugia…
Lugia, who could see everything, simply shook his head as he caught that thought.
Oh my Chosen, he's not as innocent as you think he is.
In fact, he is manipulating you and you can't even see it…
However, as the barrier of holding was eliminated, Ash found himself wanting more.
Now, how to achieve it…
Hmm… was kissing dangerous too?
Ash hadn't been able to try, but… maybe tonight.
He smiled as he ate his dinner.
Spaghetti was so yummy.
And the garlic bread was good too. He would have to remember to brush his teeth though.
Garlic wasn't sweet.
Ash liked sweetness, and Lance was so sweet…
Sweet like candy and ice and sugar…
He would make Lance want him back.
I love you, Lance-chan.
I want you, too…
So, if you don't want to play, I'll have to make you play with me…
Chapter 9: Web
That same night, Lance was tucking Ash into bed, when Ash asked him for the favor.
"Lance-chan… can you give me a kiss to keep the monsters away?"
Lance frowned, but then Ash started to tear up.
No, my little koibito, what are you doing to me?
I'll lose control and hurt you again.
But… I can't bear to see you cry…I cannot…
I will not hurt you…
I cannot hurt you…
Sighing, and vowing never to ever do it again, Lance brushed his lips softly against Ash's. "All right. No monsters tonight."
Ash smiled tearfully as he hugged Lance tightly. "Good night."
Gently, Lance untangled the boy's hands from his clothing, before he shut the light and left the room.
"Can't even control yourself for a second, can you, Dragon Master?" He said, glaring at his reflection with unmitigated hatred.
"Trying to hurt him again?" Lance snapped.
He slept in a different room that night. There was no point in tempting himself even farther.
Well, that put a wrench in Ash's plans.
Why didn't Lance want him?
He knew Lance loved him, the trainer had told him himself. But…
If Lance did love, why didn't he ever touch him anymore?
It really was time for drastic action.
Lance woke up to find Ash kissing him senseless, hands sliding everywhere they should not be going.
"Ash! What are you doing?!"
"So sweet…" Ash whispered, between kisses.
Lance pushed him away. "Ash, stop this."
"But… last time, you didn't mind…"
Lance stood up, his expression melting into anger. "That was an accident! It can never happen again!"
"Why?" Ash asked coyly, though unaware of his sudden shift in expression. "You don't like it?"
Lance twitched, breath hitching as Ash's hands brushed over a particularly sensitive spot. "Please, stop…"
"Don't you want me?"
Lance shook his head. "No. You are still a child, I cannot hurt you again. Perhaps, when you understand, you can come find me."
His eyes glowed bluely, Hypnosis taking affect.
Ash, startled, did not have time to react before sleep took its toll.
Lance dressed quickly, and was far from the Plateau by the time Ash woke up.
It was time to shatter the illusion. You couldn't stay a child forever.
"I could have kept him a child forever," Lance mused, as he stood overlooking the Whirl Islands, Lugia next to him. "But it would have been a lie."
You did the right thing, my Chosen.
"Are you sure? I thought you wanted to keep him as a child?"
True, but… it was not light he was shining. It was shadows: Only a warped reflection of light, in a false world.
I see… but why didn't you tell me?
Lugia chuckled. Would you have believed me?
I think so. Lance said. He sighed. * So now, we wait… *
Ash was shocked when he woke up.
"I thought he wanted me…"
Oh, he did. Lance's Dragonite said. You have no idea…
"But then why would he leave?"
To know that, you have to look to the past for the answers.
want to look in the past! It hurts too much!
But this hurts too…
Lance-chan, come back, please…
It was only a week later, when Ash realized Lance would not be returning.
It was the first real sign of emotion he had seen in who knows how long.
But it was a start, as the fog in his mind slowly started to lift, ever so slowly, forcing him to relive the pain in the back of his head.
It had to be done. There was no other choice.
His love for the other boy was strong enough to pull him out of the dream he had been living in.
A dream created and destroyed by the same person.
A tear rolled down his cheek. It was time to stop being a child and move on.
No one ever said it would be simple.
It was hard, so hard, not to cling to someone. It was so hard to walk the painful road to recovery alone.
But it had to be done.
He had to walk this path, or be alone forever…
Yes, I am ending the fic here. That way, you readers can decide if they got a happy ending or not.