(A/N: Hey all you Healer's Touch fans, this is just an...odd little story my friend and I wrote. It's meant to be kind of a parody/comedy/horror. I've always wanted to write a story where the characters get killed off...*ominous voice* one...by...one, so here's my chance! Please don't flame me for this, it was written purely for my own entertainment. ^_-

Marianne wishes for me to confirm that she contributed greatly to this project of ours, so I'll say it: Co-written by Kathleen [me, ladyqueenscove] and Marianne [pen name: Annimayo].

Enjoy the odd humor that I entail! I know it's way overexaggerated, but what ISN'T nowadays?

Adios!)

(A masked figure sits at a table, sharpening a butcher knife. He laughs. Evilly.)

(cue creepy music)

Masked figure: Oh, they thought they'd gotten rid of me...but they'll pay! Oh, they'll pay!

(lights flash)

(scene change to Kel, Neal, Tobe, and Loey, walking in hallway)

Kel: Hey, Neal, how're things going with Yuki?

Neal: Errm...they're okay, I guess...

Kel: Wow! Does that mean this is a shameless plot twist so that we'll end up *together*?

Neal: Guess so.

(silence)

Kel: Hmm. Okay.

(silence)

Kel: Wanna make out?

Neal: 'k!

Tobe: (walking behind them) (to Loey) Ugh. That kissin' stuff's plain awful. Who'd wanna do it? (Loey obviously lost in own thoughts) Hullo...Loey?

Loey: Tobe...I love you. Kiss me?

Tobe: Thought you'd never ask!

(enter Messenger)

Messenger: Um...er...excuse me?

(no response)

Messenger: ...Hello...?

(still nothing)

Messenger: HEY! STOP DOING IT LIKE BUNNIES FOR A SECOND AND LISTEN TO ME!

(everyone breaks apart, startled, and looks at him)

Messenger: THANK you. (whips out parchment) I bring you a message—a summons, if you will.

All: (exchange glances doubtfully and begin to whisper to one another)

Messenger: Ahem! (they look up) As I was SAYING, I bring a summons from King Jonathan. He is calling a meeting of his Royal Council, and he wants you four in attendance.

Kel: But...why? We're not ON the Council!

Messenger: Don't ask me, I'm just the messenger!

Kel: Hmm...

Messenger: Anyway...

Neal: So where IS this mysterious gathering?

Messenger: I was GETTING there! It's at...

Neal: ...Yes...?

Messenger: You're ruining my dramatic pause!

Neal: Oh. Sorry.

Messenger: The Council is to be held at....

THE CASTLE OF HORRORS!

(dun-dun-duuuuuun)

All: (gasp)

Kel: Wait...why are we gasping? We don't even know what THE CASTLE OF HORRORS (dun-dun-duuuuuun) is!

Neal: 'Cause it sounds better for dramatic effect.

Kel: Ah. I see.

Messenger: May I continue?

Neal: Yeah, sure.

Messenger: All right then. Meet at THE CASTLE OF HORRORS (dun-dun-duuuuun) immediately after the nine-o'-clock hour. DO NOT BE LATE.

All: Okay!

***IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE NINE-O'-CLOCK HOUR***

(Kel, Neal, Tobe, Loey, Cleon, Owen, Dom, Daine, Numair, George, Jon, Raoul, and Buri are all assembled in front of a huge metal door.)

Kel: (to no one in particular) Sure got dark and stormy all of a sudden, didn't it?

Alanna: So, what's the big idea, Jon? Why couldn't we have assembled in our normal meeting area?

Jon: (perplexed) What?! I thought the Council had summoned ME here!

(Alanna, George, and Jon contemplate this for a moment)

Alanna: Anyone else suddenly get the feeling we're in deep shi—

(door creaks ominously open)

All: (stare at doorway)

Numair: So, Daine, want to be the first?

Raoul: Yeah, Buri...you're brave! You go in!

Buri: HEY! Aren't you two supposed to be the big, strong guys around here?

Numair: (sheepish) Well...yeah...but what's six feet going to do against a VAMPIRE? Or...or...a GHOST?

Buri: (rolls eyes) (to Daine) We married wimps. You realize that now, don't you?

Daine: Unfortunately.

All: (stare in silence some more)

Neal: (backs up slightly until behind Dom and Kel)

Owen: (obviously exasperated) Honest to gods! You all are cowards. I'LL go in first.

(he walks in)

(the others timidly follow)

(door clangs shut behind them)

Neal: (bringing up rear) (looks at door) Well, THAT was predictable.

(suddenly, all candles blow out)

(voice-over sounds from ceiling)

Voice: Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls...welcome to...THE CASTLE OF HORRORS! (dun-dun-duuuuun)

Cleon: Gre-eat. It's going to be a long night.

(A/N: So....any guesses who's going to get killed off first? I know, I know! ^_^ Review! Even if it's a negative review! Review anyway!)