Okay, this originated when a friend and I were arguing over who is cooler, Legolas or the Twins. (It's obvious the Twins are cooler, but she refuses to believe it.) That provided the inspiriation for this fic-thing! Link and Gandalf are the commentators, as Twins and Legolas fangirls battle for the ultimate prize! Whee! It's the official sport of the new year!

Rating: G. Fun for all!

Disclaimer: I own the Matrix and LOTR. Sue me. /sarcasam

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Link: We're here live at a battle of epic porportions-

Gandalf: A battle so huge, nothing like it has ever before been seen on this earth-

Link: That's right, its.....

Both: FANGIL WARS!!!!!

Link: I'm Link, and this is my cohost, Gandalf. And we're coming to you live from the Matrix!

Gandalf: I thought this was Middle-Earth.

Link: I'll look into that, Gandalf. But today, we have a battle to deal with!

Gandalf: And today is going to be a battle like nothing before! It's the Twins fangirls duking it out with the Legolas fangirls!

Link: And they're competing for the ultimate prize: the chance to meet the object of their fangirlisim!

Gandalf: That's right, we've got Legolas and the Twins here with us!

Legolas: *waves*

Twins: *grin nervously*

Link: But don't try to get in here ahead of time, girls. This room's guarded by maximum security!

Twins: *sigh in relief*

Legolas: What's this "maximum security" anyway?

Neo: (pokes head in door) Me! I've got a potato launcher!

Legolas: Oh, that makes me feel so much better.

Gandalf: And here come the fangirls themselves! The Twins fangirls are showing their loyalty by going with the all-white look, something I rather fancy myself.

Link: But the Legolas fangirls are wearing laytex elf ears! This means business! What sort of advantage does this side have, Gandalf?

Gandalf: They have the obvous advantage of having three DVD's to throw, as opposed to the other side's measly one! This could get nasty.

Link: But, keep in mind that there are two Twins. If that doesn't double the ammount of fangirls on the other side, it will at least double the ammound of plushie's they'll be swinging!

Gandalf: And here they go!

Link: The Twins girls are going in full force, whacking the other side silly with their plushies!

Gandalf: They're demonstrating exeptional form out there, many members of the other side are already down for the count!

Link: But what's this? The Legolas fangirls are retreating-

Gandalf: No! They're backing up to begin the DVD slinging!

Link: And they have exeptional aim with those things, this is putting a serous dent in the other side-

Gandalf: Can the Twins fangirls hold out? It seems they're losing it-

Link: Wait! It seems they've distracted the other side with false news of an Orlando Bloom appearance! And they've used the time to start throwing some DVD's of their own! The Twins fangirls are back in business!

Legolas: Who is this Orlando Bloom character, anyway? Everyone keeps talking about him.

Twin 1: I bet he's some imaginary character who looks just like you.

Twin 2: Like, who are those two we're always hearing about?

Twin 1: Adrian and Neil Rayment.

Twin 2: Right.

Gandalf: Oh, it seems like both sides are out of DVD's, they're coming in for close combat now!

Link: The Twins girls retain excelent use of plushies, but it appears the other side has copies of the Lord of the Rings books and is using them to great advantage!

Gandalf: This is going to be close-

Link: What's happening in there? There's too much dust!

Gandalf: I can't see either!

Link:Wait, it's clearing-

Gandalf: And the winner is-

Link: NOBODY! IT'S A TIE! NEVER IN MY FOUR HOURS ON THE JOB HAVE I SEEN THE LIKES OF THIS!

Gandalf: You have just seen history in the making, folks!

Twins/Legolas: *huge sigh of relief*

Link: Uh-oh.

Gandalf/Twins/Legolas: What?

Link: It appears the fangirls are regaining conciousness! And they are running straight towards us! This is incredible, folks! Both teams seem to think they've won! And they are determined to claim their prize!

Legolas: MEEP! (hides under table)

Twins: (phase through the wall and run like heck)

Neo: I'll hold them off! (starts launching potatoes)

Link: Neo, are you okay?

Neo: I think so- (is trampled by hoardes of fangirls)

Fangirl: Where's Legolas? Let me at him!

Other fangirl: Twins! I know you're in there!

Gandalf: I'll hold them off! (starts twirling his staff dramatically) (He too is trampled)

Link: Oh crap. Um..... tune in next week, when the Aragon fangirls face off against the Neo fangirls, on the one and only FANGIRL WARS!!!!!! (is trampled)

(credits roll)

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So you like? Hate? Eat? Whatever? Please review!