::A/N::

Hello, all! This is a simple one-shot. It is insane, a little odd... And most likely very frightening. Short, sweet (ok, not really 'sweet') and entertaining! (sort of!)

It just came to me and I felt it could not be left unwritten.

And so, with out much further adue, here is...

dun-da-dah!!!

Lord Sesshomaru's Comfy Pants!!!

A Tale by Jaken. ('nough said)

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha in any fathomable, logic, or possible way. sigh My mind just plays tricks on me sometimes...

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My dear Lord Sesshomaru, I would follow him to the ends of the earth, and then some! I am his loyal follower till my humble end. He is my Lord and Rock.

Rin is evil, the spawn of Satan, I suspect, the way she's got my Master wrapped around her finger. Not that I'd say anything against M'Lord's word, for it is my law, but it must make one wonder what a fierce demon such as himself would do with a small human female!

Tis' all very troubling to me.

Sometimes I even feel as though he enjoys it when the wench of a little girl pummels me into the dirt, but no, he's my Lord, my Rock, my Master. He would not take joy in such things!

...Would he?

Tis' hard to read M'Lord, for he shows no emotion, as a true Demon Lord should. But the girl, she could quite possibly hinder all of it! She could quite possibly disgrace him! And yet, he keeps her around! He even saved that wench's life! If I did not care for my dearest Lord, I would retaliate! But he would not want that, so I act weak and give the child a laugh.

I do not like Rin. No, I most certainly do not.

But I'd much rather not talk about her anymore. For she is not what I set out to talk about at all!

I admire many a thing of my Dearest Lord, for he has been through much, and is, therefore, very wise indeed! His stature! His tail! His manly beauty! He is the most perfect person I shall ever hope to meet. His clothing are of the finest quality, strong and soft, though I am rarely able to touch the material my self, except when standing my ground respectfully behind him when a foe approaches him! (Much like that scum half brother of his, Inuyasha.)

But of all my Lord's apparel, I am most taken with his pants. They allow him to move swiftly and quietly, they are durable and strong, many a time I have wished for such a pair of pants! Ones just like his own, I could just see myself wearing them, feel the power they would give me! Oh and how comfortable they must be! I would give up almost anything, except my loyalty to my Lord, of course, for such a fine pair of pants!

Yes, I am quite taken with Lord Sesshomaru's comfy pants. Indeed I am.

Humph! Rin just came and bopped me on the head! "Silly Toad Man!" she laughed as I fell down. How could anyone not see that she is Satan's own spawn?!?

I am sure that if I had a pair of Lord Sesshomaru's pants, she would be intimidated by me! Minion Jaken would suddenly become a formidable foe to her! Yes!

Maybe someday I'll have such a pair of pants, and Lord Sesshomaru would take some notice of me! I very much so must admit that I am no sight for sore eyes, my humble garbs do not make me much to look at. But oh! There would be respect to be had for me if I dressed as well as my Dearest Lord! Yes indeed there would be!

My Lord is calling. Most likely to entertain the whelp, but I must stay true to my Dear Lord, he does need me, after all. Someday the whelp will be grown and gone and it shall just be I and my Dear Lord Sesshomaru alone once again. But until then, duty calls.

I must entertain the spawn of Satan. I do hope she doesn't kill me before she's grown. It would be a miserable death for a demon such as myself! Could you imagine? Death at the hands of a mere child? Ha! But my Lord would surely punish her if she were to kill me, of that I am sure! And then he would save me with his sword! And oh! The respect I would have after that! Maybe he would even give me garbs to resemble his own!

Well, one can dream.

But if I do not hurry to my Lord's call, I shall be punished!

-sigh-

Lord Sesshomaru's comfy pants are but a far of dream to me.

Jaken, Most Humble Servant to the Great Lord, Sesshomaru

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So, how did you all like that? Yes, Jaken is messed up. But hey, every show needs a Jaken... I guess...

But I did enjoy writing this, it is fun to degrade Jaken... And his obsession with Sesshomaru's pants...

(Even if that whole bit was fabricated by my humble self.)

I am just going to go ahead and apologize here for any of my grammatical errors... Heh, well, we can't all be as perfect as Jaken's 'Dearest Lord Sesshomaru', now can we?

Jaken, the 'Silly Toad Man', asks that you please review this most humble little one-shot. He says that his 'Dearest Lord Sesshomaru' would appericiate it!

Thank you!