Name: Courtney Kathrys

Title: Harry Potter


Summery: First in the "Be But Sworn My Love" series; Ginny depicts her feelings about Harry Potter as she has come to grips with them

Notes: The series is the prelude to the "We Were Only Two" series.

Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters are by JK Rowling. I only own the plot.

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There was a time in my life where I fancied myself in love with him. What self respecting witch my age didn't? He was the savior of the Wizarding World, and only slightly older than I, the perfect age for romance. And in all of my ten year old glory – I loved him.

I loved him well into my eleventh year. I was a completely different girl around him, all my brothers noticed. The first time he visited the Burrow, Ron made a comment about it to him, something about how I never shut-up usually. I burned in embarrassment for the rest of the day.

I could never be myself around him. It was hero worship all the time. But what else would you suspect? Here I am, the youngest in a family of seven, with half a dozen older brothers, and I have been raised my entire life to view this boy as the savior of the world as we know it. The Boy who Lived! The One who defeated the Dark Lord! And to top it all off, he was devilishly handsome – though he'd never admit that to anyone, since he doesn't believe it. But there's something about that windswept black hair and those emerald eyes which are for too knowing for his age – and that scar which gives him a wild roguish look, despite his glasses. He was, and still is, a hero in every sense of the word.

And I no longer indulge in such school girl fancies over him. I have grown past his innocuous grin, and accidental boyish charm. I have, though many have not. Those eyes are too knowing for my tastes, they have seen too much and have too much about me. Perhaps if he had saved someone else's life I might still be in infatuation.

Funny, isn't it? Your hero saves your life, rescues the damsel in distress and flies away with her into the night – and she falls out of love. The opposite of everything that you have ever been told. But it is because he saved my life, because I saw the hero in action, that I cannot love him now, nor will I ever in the future.

Don't you understand? I felt weak beside him, I felt that I had been judged and found lacking, That I needed to be rescued, that I needed to be carried away, that I could not take care of myself – a girl with six older brothers should not be caught in that predicament. And I was. And he got me out of it. And I can never forgive him for it.

I always imagined myself fighting beside him, riding into battle as his trusted second, someone he could entrust with his life. How could I be entrusted with the life of a man who saved mine? I am not a damsel in distress. I am the girl who stole all of her brothers brooms and taught herself to play Quidditch better than any of them, aside from Charlie, after they said it was 'too dangerous' for me. I am the girl who has come up with an extraordinary amount of pranks that have made Fred and George famous. And I am the only girl that he has ever had to rescue. How pathetic is that?

No one noticed when I stopped being in love with him. They just chose not to see. When Ron suggested I attend the Yule Ball with him, I blushed since I was embarrassed to be reminded of that lapse in judgment I incurred my first year. And I was so greatly relieved that I was promised to Neville. Ron still thinks that I will end up with him in the end, but he only wants that so his best mate can really be a brother, a Weasley. The two of them should move to Denmark and get a bloody marriage license themselves. I want no part of that.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate the boy. Quite the contrary, he is a wonderful fellow and we are good friends. But that is all we ever could be.

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