Chandler tried to back out of the door with the kiwi pie as a shield, but both Ross and Monica prevented him from escaping, so Chandler was forced to explain the whole story about leaving Ben on the bus.

The Geller siblings were naturally both mad about this, and Monica took a hard look at the baby, wondering if it was really Ben. Ross checked for some little birthmark that he knew about and confirmed that it was indeed Ben. "You're lucky you didn't bring back the wrong baby!" he threatened.

Chandler shrugged and mumbled, "You're lucky we didn't go with the coin toss."


Chandler realized that he hadn't mentioned that part. "Nothing."

They got the whole truth out of him, then Ross went to yell at Joey for his part in the business. "Taking Ben out to pick up hot chicks? Leaving him on a bus? Using a coin toss to choose between the babies?"

Joey sheepishly apologized and said he would never do it again.

"You're darn right! You're never going to babysit Ben again."

Joey said in his own defense, "But I've taken care of hundreds of kids. This never happened before. Just call any one of my seven sisters, or the ladies from the church in my old neighborhood in Queens."

Ross were still quite angry, but Ben was crying again because he didn't like Monica holding him, so Ross had to go back and comfort his son. Then Phoebe and Rachel arrived, and the Monica started to explain what had happened today.

Chandler took this opportunity to slip back to his apartment and lock the door. He sighed with relief.

Joey touched his shoulder and made him jump. "Sorry. You okay?"

Chandler turned around to him and nodded.

Joey said, "Thanks for saving me with the kiwi there."

"That's okay. I was gonna try to escape too, but I was too slow."

Joey hugged him to show his appreciation. "Hey, you wanna beer now?"

"Sure." He started to get one, but Joey stopped him and said he should go sit down and put his feet up.

"Relax. I'll get it for you."

Chandler smiled in surprise. "Okay." He went to sit down and turn on the TV, flipping through the channels to find something to watch until it it was time for *Baywatch*."

Joey filled a cooler with ice and several beers, then put it within reach of the couch. He opened one bottle and handed it to Chandler.

"Thanks, Joe."

"You're welcome. Hey, I'm gonna cook something for dinner. Do you want some spaghetti with meatballs?"

"Oh, you're gonna cook tonight? You don't wanna just order a pizza or something?"

"No, I'm trying to save some money, you know, and I don't want you to have to pay for me again."

"You know I don't mind--"


"Oh. Sorry." He remembered the whole fight about money. "Okay, spaghetti's fine with me."

"Okay." Joey went back to the kitchen and got out the necessary pots and ingredients.

Chandler asked, "When did you go shopping, Joe?"

"I didn't. This morning, before the whole baby thing, I went to my folks' house and told my mom that I was getting sick of the fast food junk, so she gave me some leftovers and stuff so I could enjoy some home cooking. I got these groceries, plus a lasagna in the freezer."

"Oh, cool!"


So Joey cooked dinner, and they ate at the foosball table. Chandler had to admit that a home cooked meal did taste great, and Joey got lots of marinara sauce all over his face. Chandler laughed and teased him about it before he wiped it off with a napkin.

Then *Baywatch* came on, and Chandler eagerly returned to the couch. "Joe, come on, hurry."

"I gotta wash these dishes first," he said from the kitchen.

"No, leave those! Come on."

Joey decided to just leave the pots and dishes soaking, then he joined Chandler on the couch.

"Good," Chandler put an arm around him.

Joey smiled and grabbed two more beers from the cooler. They watched TV and drank beer for a few relaxing hours until they were pretty sleepy.

Closing his eyes, Chandler leaned his head against Joey's shoulder and started to drift off. Joey smiled and tousled his hair fondly. Then he started to get up from the couch and put a pillow in place to support Chandler's head.

But all this shifting around woke up Chandler, who yawned and asked Joey where he was going.

"I gotta wash those dishes."

"No, stay!" Chandler pulled him back down on the couch. "What are you, a woman?"

Joey shook his head and chuckled. "Nope. What, you never had to wash the dishes before?"

Chandler answered, "Not when there was a maid or houseboy to do it. How come your seven sisters didn't do all that stuff for you?"

"Same reason why I know how to cook. My mom wouldn't let me grow up without learning how to take care of myself."

"Well, never mind about the dishes now. Maybe we can get Monica to do 'em tomorrow. She likes cleaning."

"But she'll probably still be mad at us about Ben."

"Oh, right," Chandler said.

Joey put his arm around Chandler again, and Chandler hugged him tight, seeming a little drunk. "You okay?"

Chandler sighed and put his head on Joey's shoulder again. "Thanks for dinner."

"You're welcome." Joey smiled, feeling good that he hadn't sponged off Chandler tonight. He had sponged off his mom, sure, but at least he didn't owe Chandler more money.

"Hey, remember today, when that lady thought we were gay?"

"Yeah. Sorry about that."

"And then," Chandler continued, "we pretended to be gay to that guy at Human Services."

"Yeah," Joey nodded and absently ran his fingers through Chandler's hair again.

"And then--then you kissed me again."


"You wanna... you wanna...?"

"What?" he turned to face Chandler.

Chandler grabbed his face with both hands and kissed him.

Joey blinked and was quite surprised. Chandler leaned closer and slid his tongue past Joey's lips. Joey liked that and he closed his eyes, running his fingers through Chandler's hair.

The roommates kept kissing and necking on the couch. They both tasted beer and marinara sauce on each other's breath, and they sank back against the cushions together. Joey sighed and tried to loosen Chandler's shirt, but he stopped and moaned as he felt Chandler starting to suck on his neck. "Chandler." Joey was very turned on, and he enjoyed everything that Chandler was doing to him.

After more groping and making out, they finally got off the couch and headed into the nearest bedroom, dropping clothes along the way.

Chandler was a little nervous because the last time he had sex, it was with Jade, who described their encounter as "eh" and "awkward and bumpy," but Joey was great at easing his anxiety. He curiously played with Chandler's third nipple and drove him wild with desire. Apparently, stuff did happen when you flicked it.

"R-r-remember what happened in your porno movie, Joe?" he spoke breathlessly. "Remember the, the typing test--oh!"

Joey did remember how the gang (minus Phoebe and plus Julie) had recently watched the porn movie in which he had played a copier repair man who watched people having sex on the copier. Chandler had called the beginning of the movie, "the craziest typing test I've ever seen."

"Oh, you want a job too, do ya?" Joey started to do what the woman had done to the man in the porn film, though it took some fumbling and practice for him to get the hang of it.

Chandler encouraged Joey with moans and caresses, and when his turn was over, Chandler returned the favor to Joey. So they spent a hot, sweaty, and wonderful night in each other's arms, and Chandler fell asleep thinking that it was not an "eh" night at all. Maybe he should stick to guys from now on. Maybe he should stick to Joey.

Joey kissed him again and still forgot all about washing those dishes.

The End

[P.S. Maybe Monica takes Chandler's suggestion about going to Stevie Fisher for a catering job, and after a while she falls in love with Stevie, or the Blowfish who gave her a hickey, or one of the lawyers in Stevie Fisher's firm. Then she gets married and has babies and is happy.]