Title: Cordelia's Diary Rating: Uhhh...PG? Spoilers: Seasons 1-3...and season 4 of Angel, but only if you read my disclaimer... Disclaimer: If I owned them, Cordy never would have gone into a coma, Buffy and Angel would still be together, and Spike would still be trying to kill them all. Either that or he'd be dust. (Sorry Spuffy lovers.)
I also don't own McDonald's. Duh. I'm vegetarian. (If I owned Micky D's they'd be selling Boca burgers. I only go there for ice cream, fries, and fruit/yogurt parfaits as it is anyway.) Timeline: Seasons 1-3...as of now, at least. Author's Note: Okay, call me weird, but the character of Cordy has always fascinated me. Sure, she could be irritating, but I think everyone shares at least one quality with Cordelia, and not all her qualities are bad. Oh well, read on...

(A/N: Okay, I lied. Just on more note: This first entry takes place during "Welcome to the Hellmouth".)

March 3, 1997

Dear Diary, As corny as that entry starter is, I can't seem to dump it. I mean, I've been keeping diaries since third grade. Not writing 'Dear Diary' at the top would be like breaking a time honored tradition.
Well anyway, today was pretty uneventful. Harmony got a wicked cute sweater on sale at the mall. She's been wanting it for ages, but she had to wait til it went on sale because she didn't want to blow all the money her parents gave her on one sweater, because what would she do without the matching shoes? (She and her parents obviously aren't as well off as Mom and Daddy and I am. Her mom says she might even have to get a JOB soon to help pay for college! A JOB! Harmony's trying to be discreet about all this, but it better not happen. Cordelia Chase hanging out a McDonald's cashier? Please.)
Oh, and this new girl Buffy came to school today. She seemed cool...until I caught her hanging out with Willow, Xander, and my 'stalker' Jesse. And she was there out of her OWN FREE WILL. But I was nice. I thought, Maybe she doesn't understand that the people in this school are dying to be in my group. But then she started asking about...OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO MENTION THE DEAD GUY!!!!!! Today when Aura opened her gym locker, a dead guy fell out! Oh my god, I can't believe that earlier in this entry I said that today was uneventful!!! But anyway, Buffy was all, "Did something bite him?" It was nasty. I was like, "Eww, morbid much?" So Buffy runs off, probably to get a glimpse of this dead body that fascinates her so. Eww. Just thinking about it makes me shudder. I don't get why Buffy was so interested in that body, though. It's really creepy. Plus, she doesn't seem Goth or anything at all. (A/N: No offense to any Gothic people out there...I know people who are kinda 'Goth' and they aren't all obsessed with death and corpses...)
Another weird thing about Buffy: I was at the Bronze tonight and she came at me with this sharp piece of wood. God, she has issues. Like, MAJOR issues. Who runs around trying to kill people with sharp sticks? Nutty people, I'll tell you that.

Oh, well. As long as I deny ever having invited her to join the group, my reputation should remain okay. And I'd better watch out for her...