Cordelia's Diary, entry VIIII

Spoilers: Seasons 1-3.

Disclaimers: Joss owns all, yada yada, they're not mine, yada yada yada.

A/N: Updating for the first time in, oh...three months. Sorry about the lack of new chapters.

This chapter takes place around the events of "Prophecy Girl", including some explanation of what the Scoobies did at the Spring Fling. Just 'cause I've always wondered.

June 2, 1997

Actually, it's June third, seeing as it's one in the morning.

Well. Know I know why Buffy's a freak.

She's some kind of...superhero. A Slayer, I think Giles said.

And Giles! Giles is her Watcher. Whatever that is. As far as I can tell, he's kind of like a Slayer secretary: "Hi, Buffy, you're killing some demons at three o' clock and you're meeting with some vampires at six. Be sure to bring a stake. And I cancelled your eight-thirty apocalypse."

Wow. I just used demons, vampires, stake, and apocalypse in the same paragraph, and I'm not even being sarcastic.

I'm in shock.


So traumatized, in fact, that I didn't even mention the trauma until now.

I was sitting where Kevin and I used to park (Kevin died yesterday. I feel horrible--me and Willow found his body. The funeral is later this week) when all these vampires started coming after me. So I put the pedal to the metal and woh should I find, surrounded by even more of these things, but Willow and Miss Calendar. And at that moment, I didn't care that Willow was a freak and Miss Calendar failed me on that computer test last week. I wasn't about to let them die. So I stopped and they got in and we drove to the library. Apart from the life-threatening danger and everything, driving through the school was kind of cool. Except for the paint scratches on the car. Which are minor, I guess, compared to everything else that's happened.

Anyway, we run into the library and start barricading the door. And Giles is surprised, but not too surprised, which made everything even weirder. I thought he'd at least be like, "Oh, dear! Everything's gone to hell in a bloody handbasket!" or something British-sounding. Maybe a "Pip, pip, it's the end of the world!" Well, anyway, Giles and I are trying to keep the vampires and stuff out of the library and Willow and Miss Calendar are up with the bookshelves blocking the windows when all of a sudden they start screaming "Giles! GILES! GIIII-LLLES!" And Giles picks that moment to be all British and "bloody-hell-oh-dear" and gallant in the sense of "I must rescue my one true love and her student!" Because Giles obviously has the hots for Miss Calendar, in his own stuffy British way. You'd have to be a moron not to be able to tell, especially the way they were acting at the Spring Fling after. But I'm off topic.

So he leaves me there to fend for myself. And I'm wondering where Buffy is. 'Cause isn't she supposed to handle stuff like this? And then, all of a sudden, this THING just bursts into the library! No, not into the library, FROM the library. From the floor in the back! That whole time I was doing my book report on Uruguay, this thing was right underneath me! This ugly, terrifying, slimy, three-mouthed Venus-fly-trap looking THING!

After that, everything was just a blur. Fighting for you life does that to you,I guess. I never thought I'd say this, but poor Buffy. If fighting for your life makes your memories blurry, she must have the weirdest random recollections of stuff. The last clear memory she probably has is, like, her eighth birthday or something.

So, yeah, everything was a blur until this ugly deformed vampire guy comes CRASHING THROUGH THE SKYLIGHT! He lands on this broken piece of library table (or floor--at this point, I couldn't really tell) and just turned to dust and left this skelton behind. And I looked up and there's Buffy, a semi-fashion disaster--wet, stringy hair, a formerly-gorgeous-but-now-soaking-wet dress, muddy shoes. (I can let this go, though, on account of her just saving my life, along with the rest of the world, so...) And she looks down at the skeleton and kind of smiles. Then I see Xander over her shoulder and I just barely hear him go, "Buffy? Let's go." And who should come up behind her and put his arm over her sohulder than that SUPER HOT ANTI-OWEN GUY from the Bronze! No wonder he's always hanging around her! I thought that maybe this meant he wasn't taken after all, he was just her sort-of co-worker or something, but judging by the way they were slow-dancing at the Bronze, I'd say they're a couple. But we'll see.

So a few minutes later, Buffy, Xander, and the Hot Guy come in, and Xander says that Buffy DIED! (No wonder her hair was so awful.) And then somebody said we should leave the library because it was freaking them out, and Buffy called the vampire skeleton a freak (ha ha--takes one to know one, I guess) and we all left for the Spring Fling.

When we got there, people gave us--and me--funny looks. Us because most of us were all bruised (Giles in particular had this really nasty-looking bruise on his cheek--looks like somebody clocked him good), me because I actually showed up with these losers. And I wasn't wearing a designer dress! But they all had to deal, because I am May Queen. So there.

So Buffy and the guy--whose name is Angel, I think, danced, and Giles and Miss Calender sort of gave each other awkward looks and sat on a couch near the little finger sandwiches, and Willow ate practically everything in sight (I have to say I joined her in this--fighting for your life apparently makes you really hungry in addition to blurring your memories. It'll be a miracle if we both don't gain at least three pounds.) and Xander "treated" us all to his trademark freakish dance moves. It would be kind of cute, if he wasn't so nerdy.

And I actually had fun. I hung out with Harmony and everybody most of the time, and that was okay, but I actually had more fun talking to Willow, even though we talk about 99 less than I talked with Harmony. She (Willow, not Harmony) was the one who filled in the blanks about Buffy being the Slayer and Giles being her Watcher. She also said that the ugly vampire guy was called the Master and he's been trying to get free and kill us all for a long time. That's what that whole thing with the "deformed gangs" was about when Buffy first moved here. There was this guy, Luke (this ugly guy who actually tried to kill me) who was a "vessel" or something, and if he killed enough people, it would be like a get out of jail free card for the Master. She told me about the Anointed One (some Big Cheese in the vampire community) and about the demons and stuff they faced this year. And I asked her how long she'd known and she said, "Ever ince one of them tried to kill me, right after Buffy moved here. She saved my life." And I asked how clse she'd been to being killed and she said, "Really close. I was lucky to get away." And she looked kind of sad and I asked her what her problem was and she told me that the vampires killed Jesse.

And then I realized that Jesse hadn't been hanging around me anymore, not since that night with the gang--vampires. I never noticed until now, and it makes me feel bad. He's been dead for months, and I never knew. I actually gave Willow this weird little pat on the shoulder, to help make her feel better. I think it did because she smiled and said, "Thanks, Cordelia" and I told her not to think it would become a regular thing, us talking like we were friends. And she smiled this knowing kind of smile and said, "Okay." Huh.

Well, it's late and my hand is killing me and I'm exhausted. I've got finals this week, so I'd better be catching up on my sleep, even though I doubt I'll be doing much sleeping tonight. Goodnight.


June 9, 1997

Well, school is officially OUT FOR SUMMER!

I can't wait I can't wait I can't wait!

Mom and Dad promised that we're going to St. Croix this year! And, as an end-of-school present, they got me a palomino! Yay! That's ten horses, even. I named him Keanu. I'll miss him this summer, but I'm GOING TO ST. CROIX!


June 10, 1997

I'm basking in the no-school-ness. I went to the mall today (all by myself--it's a beginning-of-summer tradition for me to swimsuit shopping on my own, even though I bought most of my swimsuits in March) and saw Willow and Xander. I actually smiled at them and Willow said, "Hi, Cordelia." Xander, of course, just kind of glared my way and muttered something about Daddy's credit card. Willow ignored him and told me that they're burying the bones of the Master tomorrow and asked if I would come to help make the ritaul stronger. I gave her a thanks-but-no-thanks remark and started walking away. Then I remembered Buffy saving the world and everything and I figured I owed them one. So as they were walking away, I called "Willow!" (In public and everything!) She turned around and looked at me. I think she knew what I was gonna say. She nodded at me and I asked, "What time?" (You should have seen the look of shock on Xander's face.)

So tomorrow night, at a quarter to midnight, I'm meeting Willow, Xander, Giles, and Miss Calendar in the graveyard for some post-bad-guy-death chanting. Willow mentioned wearing robes. Joy. At least no one will be able to tell who I am. (Not that anyone that knows me--besides these people--would be walking around the cemetery at night. But you can never be too careful.)


Wow, a super-long update! Go me!