"I Shall Believe"

Part One of Two

written by Sapphira

Short Story Based on the WB TV Series "Tarzan"

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Disclaimer: Don't own any of it… not the characters, the music, or the TV series in any form… I am making no profit off of this, or ANY of my other fanfics… I'm writing it purely for my own enjoyment, and hopefully for the enjoyment of some of the fellow fans.

Distribution: If you want it, you can have it… just drop me a line and tell me where it is going… ;)

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AN – Hey everybody! Remember me? Most of you will recognize me as the author of the Reflections series. One thing I want to make clear is that this story has nothing to do with that series. Not officially, anyway. (wink) "Reflections" is completed in its entirety, so now I'm moving on to continuations and AUs where I can finally call the shots. (wink)

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Summary – "When one chapter ends, another begins… A combined destiny unfolds as a restrained passion is finally unleashed."… Takes place the night following the trial…

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Part One, Chapter One

Jane knelt and turned the water off. Halting the flow pouring from the showerhead above her and plunging her bathroom into silence. Wringing the worst of the water out of her hair, she pulled the shower curtain back and stepped out onto the damp fuzzy matt.

Her head had been pounding most of the day, so even though it had abated some by the time she had entered her bathroom, she hadn't wanted it to start all over again by turning on the harsh lighting of the small enclosure. So, as an alternative, she had lit a couple of fragrant candles that Nikki had given her a while back as part of a birthday gift. Her, someone who had always been so cautious about having open flames in her apartment, couldn't even find it within herself to care about having balanced those unguarded candles on the edge of her small sink.

The last remnants of her headache had thankfully dissipated, but as relaxed as her mind had finally become, she didn't bother turning the main lights on in the bathroom. She pulled on her light weight blue terrycloth robe, and gently blew out the twin flames. Making her way out of the bathroom in the semi-darkness.

A soft golden glow emanated from one corner of her bedroom, where she had turned on a small glass lantern resting on an end table. Other than the faint aura of light peeking through her curtain from the surrounding city, it was the only light source in the room. But it was enough for her to be able to make it over to her dresser. Thunder rolled outside in accompaniment to the rain she could hear pounding against her window panes. The sound almost comforting in a strange way.

This had been a day to end all days. It had, in turns, been both nerve wracking and exhilarating. Frightening and joyous. It was not a day she ever cared to relive. But it had ended well. Richard Clayton had lost the first major battle. John was free of the murder charges that had plagued him, and by his cooperation earlier in court he had proven that he was not mentally unstable. The very fact that his uncle had tried to make it seem like he was, was just one of the little things that would help them in the custody hearing in another month. Him flat-lining while in his uncle's care would be another one.

But in the meantime, her and Kathleen would do whatever they had to, to prove that in that month's span of time that John had learned more under his aunt's care than he ever had in the six months with his uncle.

Jane was also going to have to figure out what awaited her back at the Precinct… but not tonight. Tonight marked the end to the events of the past few months, and she was more than willing to leave it at that. She was exhausted, both mentally and physically. This past week had been unbelievably stressful, and she didn't even want to guess at how many of those hours had been spent on absolutely no sleep… But at least it was over. For now.

For now she could breathe without the fear that the entire world wasn't going to come crashing down around her all at once. At least now she wouldn't have to endure how her heart had jumped every time the phone rang late at night, for fear that something had happened to John.

Picking up her comb, she began to comb through her mass of damp hair. Knowing that if she didn't, it would be a tangled mess come morning.

She watched herself in the mirror, as she ran the comb through the curling strands. The repetitive and simple action almost soothing. She studied her profile. Noticing the slight hollows under her eyes, and the slightly paler than normal contrast to her skin. But she also noticed other things. Things that she had never before noticed about herself… till she had seen John noticing them in her.

Blinking at her reflection in reaction to that thought, her hand stilled, and then finally dropped. Placing the comb back on the countertop. She braced both of her palms there against the smooth wooden edge, and looked closer at her image reflecting back to her. Thoughts filled her mind, primarily about John. Some about Michael. And then they were just about why it was because of John's attention that she finally saw things about herself, things that Michael's similar attraction hadn't pointed out before… And why that thought filled her with such a sense of guilt.

Dropping her head, she stared at the pattern in the wood beneath her palms till it began to blur slightly… and then she closed her eyes against the pressure she could feel just behind them. She wasn't going to cry. Not again. She had spent her last tears on the events of the past. Events that she couldn't change no matter how she may have wished she could.

Jane stayed like that for a moment, till the threat of tears had receded like some half forgotten dream. Only then did she let out the breath she had been holding in an audible sigh. Only then did she pick her head back up, opening her eyes to face her reflection in the mirror…

And met a pair of startlingly blue eyes the color of watered down sapphires in the mirror with her own dark ones.

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