Never Said Goodbye


A/N: This is my first fanfic, and it's CM mainly with some other couples but they aren't really significant to the story, yet anyway. This won't be humorous, so please don't remind me that it isn't. Enjoy.


Chapter One: Memories


I never complained really. There never seemed much point. They were always nice, good parents. They never showed a real dislike for me, and I'm sure that they loved me in their own way. But Ross was always the "special one." There'd been some problem when he was born, and they called him their "miracle boy." My most common bedtime story was the one entitled "Your Precious Brother's Survival At Birth." I knew that story off by heart by the time I was three years old.


And he never helped. He milked the fact that he was the favourite child. They never admitted that they loved Ross more than they loved me, but it was as obvious as anything. For his fifth birthday they took him to the zoo. For my fifth birthday they took me to my aunts house.


I never wanted to seem ungrateful. I turned to food for comfort. By my ninth birthday it was obvious to most that I had a problem. But not my parents. I once heard my dad's friend mentioning that I had put on a lot of weight recently. My dad's reply was "Really?"


It sounds silly. Most parents have a favourite. I never had a problem. I was well-looked after, I didn't have to cook my own meals or anything, I was never abused, and I was shown a lot of love. But I was jealous. My brother was a saint in their eyes, and I was just plain Monica. Short, fat, boring Monica.


Even at school, the teachers were not impressed by me. I was one of the cleverest in the class, but compared to my brother, who they would have taught two years or so before me, I was average. They had high expectations of me. I did my best, but I didn't get top marks. 75, 80% was nothing compared to my brothers 100%. They tried hard to hide their disappointment, but it was obvious that they wanted more.


Social-wise, I was lucky. Rachel Green was friends with me because of our parents, and she was one of the most popular girls in school, even when she was in the lowest grade. I made friends with her friends, and I was never lonely at school. People knew not to comment on my weight problem, because everyone knew that Rachel Green had friends in "high places". I never had problems at school.


I wish I could say I had a happy childhood. But the truth is, I was never 100% happy until I met Chandler. Chandler Bing... my husband. He helped me see that I could put my past childhood fears behind me, move on. He made me realise my parents didn't have to affect how I felt about myself. They, without realising it, had given me so little self-confidence, I was a shadow of what I could have been.


It all seems so dramatic, doesn't it? My childhood wasn't terrible. I survived. My parents didn't hate me. But still, I hated growing up being second best. I know how it feels to be forgotten about. When we have children, and I'm sure the word is when, and not if, I will make sure my love for them is equal, and that there is a lot of it. Love can be shared 50/50. Not 70/30.


We haven't spoken much in the past few years. I've had to distance myself from them, so that I can grow. We probably see each other two or three times a year. I've made amends with Ross. We hated each other as children. Now we're practically best friends. Life couldn't be much better.


People tell me that I should make amends with my parents too. They say that they weren't that bad really. But my childhood was miserable. A lot of people spend their adult years with not much contact with their parents. Not because they were horrible people. Just because they didn't get on. I think that's my problem. I just didn't get on with my parents. The contact we have is enough.


And I have more important things to worry about. Finally, Chandler and I have something to smile about, after months of agony, wondering if it would ever happen for us. I'm finally pregnant, with our own child. We wanted to adopt, but we felt it could never be the same as having your own child. And with the willpower we have, we overcame our problems and in six months, we will hopefully be parents. Maybe this will be the time when our family will come together again, over the birth of a new family member.


To be continued...?


Please review and tell me if you liked this. If people review with good comments, then I will definitely continue. Thanks ^^