Author's Note: I saw a picture on a site where Kurt was in a dress in a Western setting. I think it was during the Cross Time Caper. Now why would Kurt be in a dress? Could it have something to do with his alternate version in that world? Hmmm...

And in case you're wondering, yes, the alternate version of Kurt is a transvestite.


Kurt was not a very happy woman. Frowning, she placed her hands on her hips and she looked around her dressing room, her tail swishing behind her in anger.

Someone had taken her favorite dress and wig!

Growling softly, she swore and decided to just pick something else to wear. After all, she needed to be out in her saloon and watch over those rough and rowdy cowboys again.

A woman's job was never done.

Calmly she looked through her other dresses until she finally found one to her liking. It was a lilac color with lots of ruffles and frills around the waist and down the rest of the dress with a long slit on the side to show her fishnets.

Taking out some soft cloth, she stuffed the front of her corset to give herself a nice breast size before she slipped on her dress, adjusting it slightly to hide the fact that she had been mistakenly born a man instead of the woman she knew she was underneath. Hiking up her dress, she slipped on black fishnets, adjusting it so that it didn't get tangled on the toe on the back of her feet.

The shoes were a bit difficult to work with. Biting her lower lip, Kurt took a deep breath and she started to try and squeeze her feet into her narrow shoes. It took a while, but she was finally able to put them on and she smiled as she stood in front of the mirror, her high heeled shoes sparkling in the lantern light.

"Now for my wig..." she whispered. She opened a closet and revealed a few mannequin heads with different kinds of hairstyle wigs on. All of them were blond and she sighed, looking at the spot where her favorite wig used to rest.

"I suppose I will have to ask Alistaire to make me another one just like it." She shrugged, choosing one that was all ready done up with fake sapphires and feathers in it. Carefully she put it on, adjusting it a bit and using bobby pins with sparkling glass jewels on them to keep it in place like real hair.

Digging through her jewelry box, she took out a pair of long earrings that were the only real diamonds that she owned.

Perfect. Now all she needed was to put on a little make-up and she was ready to take on those men out there who wanted to meet the owner of the saloon.

Her long claws were all ready painted a stunning crimson red, so she went to her lipstick, making her lips cherry red to match the rouge that she put on next. A little eyeliner to make them look more lush and her face more exotic and she was finished with everything.

"Ms. Wagner?" It was Meggan, knocking on the door nervously. Honestly, that girl needed to find herself a man to make her more relaxed! "Ms. Wagner, everyone wants to see you now! You have to start the show!"

"Coming [i]mein liebling![/i] You cannot rush perfection you know!" Kurt called, putting on a jeweled bracelet as a last minute touch up. She really hated her voice sometimes. She wanted it to be more womanly, but for some reason it always came out scratched, sounding like a man trying to imitate a woman's voice and failing.

When she said this to her girls, they never had the heart to tell her that she [i]was[/i] indeed a man trying to imitate a woman's voice.

Stepping out of the room, Kurt smiled and winked at Meggan, tilting her head to one side as she headed for the back of the stage where she could men shouting out for Ms. Wagner. Her girls were waiting in their can- can outfits, checking their bodices to make sure their cleavage was showing immensely for the men.

"Gather round! Gather round." Kurt said, clapping her hands and stepping in the middle of the group. "Now girls, I hear a lot of men out there tonight! And we all know what men want when they come to the Blue Heaven now don't we? They want to see us, so dance your best out there, [i]mein liebes![/i] I know that you will make me proud!"

Laughing the girls took their places and waited as Kurt slowly parted the curtains and stepped in front of them amid the wolf calls and howling that occurred as soon as the spotlight hit her.

Smiling, she gestured for the men to all calm down, her tail swaying side to side lazily.

"Now calm down, boys!" she said. "If you yell too loudly, you will scare away the girls! You don't want to do that now do you?" The men responded with loud shouts and applause.

"I thought so." She nodded. "Well then put your hands in your gold bags because these girls aren't coming out here for free! I give you; the Blue Heaven Girls!" stepping off the stage, Kurt had the curtains raised and the girls started to dance as the men started to howl and bang on the tables wildly.

Soon gold coins were thrown onto the stage, and Kurt smiled as she watched her girls skillfully pick them up, seducing the men all the while. Seeing that everything was all right with her girls, Kurt headed for the bar to serve out drinks and get one herself. She laughed and posed a few times along the way as a few men whistled at her and asked if she would show them a little more than just that slit on the side of her dress.

"You must use your imagination, [i]mein herr![/i]" she said to one old man, tapping him lightly on the tip of his nose. "Unless you can pay to see more later." She added, leaning forward and kissing him lightly on the lips. Winking, she left the astonished old man sitting there as she went behind the bar to help serve out drinks.

All was going well for her and her saloon; until Brian came in.

Narrowing her eyes, Kurt pursed her lips and placed her hands on her hips, looking over at Meggan defensively. She didn't like Brian, not at all. The bastard used to beat Meggan until Kurt had finally chased him away from her saloon and swore that she would kill him if he ever came in again.

Her tail slowly went under her dress to her ankle, where she always kept a tiny pistol there in case someone got a bit violent and needed to be taken care of in a hurry.

"What are you doing here?" she asked flatly, narrowing her eyes as Brian walked up. Sitting down on a stool he shrugged, putting down a bag of gold on the bar.

"A man can come in here if he's thirsty can't he?" he asked.

"Not if he beats one of my girls he can't!" Kurt snarled, narrowing her eyes. "Get out before I make you get out!"

"Why do you hate me so much?" Brian asked, cocking an eyebrow slightly. "You know you want me." Kurt drew her pistol, calmly pulling back the hammer.

"Get out, Brian." She warned. "I [i]will[/i] shoot you!" Shrugging, Brian got up, looking at Kurt with narrowed eyes.

"I'll get you one of these days, Ms. Wagner." He said. "When you're not looking I'll let everyone know what you are!"

"What I am is a very pissed off woman at the moment!" Kurt snarled. "Now get out!" Brian left, and the tension he had brought with him was gone. Sighing, Kurt put back her pistol and she smiled, turning to the next customer. ***
When the night was done, it was time to close up the saloon and start the second business Blue Heaven performed for the men of the town; prostitution. It was the girls who got most of the business of course, but there were a few men who specially requested to be with Ms. Wagner.

Now how could she deny her public what they wanted?

She had a few rules however when it came to what she did. She kept the lights down very low so that she could the fact that she was not as womanly as she wished to be. She only allowed a few positions to be performed, and she never let them take any longer than half an hour.

She never really looked at the men who paid to be with her, and she really should have sometimes.

That night, a friend of Brian's came in and he got all the proof he needed to help Brian to get back at Kurt for taking Meggan away from him. When the man was finished, he calmly took one of the spare keys to the back door of Kurt's room and he slipped it into his pocket as he paid for the trick. ***
The next night, Kurt was getting ready for another performance with the saloon when she heard someone opening the back door. She was too busy stuffing her corset however, and she figured that it was a friend since no one else had a key to her back door.

"Just sit down on the bed, [i]liebe![/i]" she said. "I will be done in a minute!" Brian grabbed her by the waist, spinning her around roughly, startling her badly.

"I think you're done now!" he said. "And everyone is going to see how much of a freak you are!"

"Let go of me!" Kurt cried, struggling with him wildly. Brian was holding her arms too tightly, and she couldn't stop him as he dragged her out of the room still in her corset.

"Hey everybody! Look what Ms. Wagner is!" Brian shouted. The men at the tables looked up and Brian tore off the top of Kurt's corset before he threw her to the ground in front of everyone.

The whole saloon fell silent as everyone stared at the man in the torn corset in surprise.

"I'm just worried about the men who paid to sleep with this thing!" Brian said before he left the saloon.

Hugging her chest, Kurt looked up and found everyone staring at her in horror. As tears started to sting her eyes, she turned and ran into her room, slamming the door shut and locking it. ***
She kept the saloon closed for a week, staying in her room the whole time. She finally allowed Meggan to reopen the saloon, but she refused to leave her room no matter what. Everyone tried to make her come out of her room, but she refused, staying on her bed, wrapped in her blanket and sobbing.

No one would ever want to see her again. They probably wanted to beat her for what she had done. She had revealed her secret to a few people in other towns, and they had all tried to kill her and drove her out of town. She really didn't want to move away from this town, and she knew that someone would try to kill her for this; most likely someone who she had slept with.

She really didn't want to let Meggan into her room, but the girl just wouldn't give up, so she consented finally, opening the door for her. Meggan sat down beside her, placing an arm around her shoulders.

"Ms. Wagner, you need to go out there." Meggan said. "You need to start the show." Kurt shook her head, sighing softly.

"I cannot, Meggan." She said. "I'll get shot if I do. Just open it for me all right?" Meggan shook her head, sighing softly at Kurt.

"You're the one who made this saloon, Ms. Wagner!" she said. "Only you can start the show!"


"I think you're giving those people out there too little credit!" Meggan said. "Just try one last time, Ms. Wagner! The rest of the girls want you to come back too!" Kurt looked away, her tail curling up slightly as she thought about it.

"Are you sure?" she asked. Meggan smiled, nodding a bit.

"I'm positive. Let me help you get ready!" Kurt reluctantly consented, and Meggan smiled and helped her get dressed.

She chose a long slender dress that was scarlet colored with gold etching on the middle and shoulders. She chose golden hoop earrings and she sat Kurt down to help her with her stockings and shoes. The wig she chose was down to Kurt's shoulders and she curled the ends up slightly, smiling as she placed one strand of hair in front of Kurt's eyes.

When she put on Kurt's make-up, she chose sky blue rouge and lipstick, applying it gently and less than Kurt always out on.

"You don't need any eyeliner." She said, smiling at her. "Your lashes and longer without them."

"I'm a little nervous about this." Kurt admitted, as she stood behind the curtain. Smiling, Meggan rested a hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"You'll do fine, Ms. Wagner." She whispered. "Trust me!" Nodding, Kurt gave her a final smile before she stepped onto the stage and into total silence. Looking around, she found herself looking at armed and dangerous looking cowboys, all of them just looking at her in silence.

Slowly, Kurt took a deep breath and she let it out slowly, smiling faintly as she assumed her old jaunty pose.

"What are you waiting for? Me to perform some back flips for you?" she asked. "Where is the applause! I'm not sure that the girls will want to come out if you boys don't clap for them! They can be very moody you know!" When no one did anything, she sighed, rubbing her hands together slowly.

"What is the matter?" she asked. "You liked my saloon before my secret was revealed? Don't you like my girls anymore? Or do you want to leave and not see our show? [i]Gott[/i], I think you all must be dead not to see the girls tonight!"

That got a few chuckles.

"Come on! You need to do better than that if you want to see them! Come on!" Her tail flicked to one side and she gritted her teeth, waiting for them to do something with her hands on her hips.

The applause slowly grew, and someone gave a loud and long wolf whistle.

"That is the spirit!" Kurt laughed. "Come on!"

"We missed ya, Missus Wagner!" someone shouted in the back, and the applause grew to its old fury of old. Laughing, Kurt clapped her hands and she raised the curtains, her girls walking up and starting to dance.

Everything was back to normal, and Kurt was finally able to find a town that she could stay in and be herself.