Growing up Girl
by Jake (FarTooMasculine)
Warnings: This story contains things that may be offensive to those without an open mind. I wouldn't recommend it to those of a younger age, either, as it contains adult stuff. Please bear with me as I kick my writing ability out of proverbial hibernation. It's been a while. This story contains transsexual issues. A lot of them are based on my own experience, switched around to reflect what it's like for a female, born male.
Gundam Wing doesn't belong to me.
BIG, BIG NOTE: Sorry for the wait! I've moved in with my girlfriend recently, and don't have much time to write anymore. I'm starting to work out a pattern, though, so expect faster chapters now that I've gotten into the groove of things. )
Lunch with Heero's parents was, at best, an interesting experience that was none too enjoyable. Heero's mother was silent throughout, but his father was raucous. I learned that he worked in construction, oversaw the workload of over fifty men, and was generally the "big cheese" out at the site. That's his wording, not mine. I would never use the word "big cheese" to describe him. Big jerk, maybe.
Why he felt the need to share this information with me, I have no idea. From the time he started talking to the time he finally went to the kitchen, grabbed a beer, and walked back into the living room, I kept my head down, eyes focused solely on the exotic foods in front of me. Sometimes I would give a half-hearted nod when he would pointedly stare at me and ask, "You listening, honey?"
The fact that he called me honey disgusted me.
I found that I couldn't even look at him any more without feeling a blush of anger tinge my cheeks. I hated him. I hated what he'd done to Heero. I hated what he'd done to Emara. I hated the look on his face when he stared at me silently, when no one else seemed to be paying attention. I remembered that look from my time working the streets, and it was one that I never wanted to see again.
After lunch, Heero took me out back. There was a screened-in area with a swimming pool. The sun was shining brightly, not a cloud in the sky. Heero sat down in one of the plastic chairs. I sat on the edge of the pool and dipped my feet into the cool water. The pool pumps hummed quietly nearby. A lizard scampered past Heero's feet.
"What do you think of my family?" he finally asked me, sitting back in the chair. He was squinting slightly in the bright sun.
I wondered if I should tell him that his father made me uneasy. Then I thought better of it. Heero could possibly take offense to that. The man was, after all, his step-father. However lousy he was. "Your mother's very nice."
"Yeah. I guess so."
There was a moment's hesitation, and then, "Want to go swimming?"
The question caught me off guard. I didn't even own a bathing suit to wear. And even if I had owned one, I wouldn't have brought it with me. I didn't know they had a pool. "I don't have a bathing suit." I also couldn't swim very well.
"My mother probably has one you could borrow. You look about the same size."
"I think your mom's a little shorter than me." I pinched my thumb and forefinger together to emphasize my point.
"Could swim naked."
My mouth fell open and I stared at him, wide-eyed. It was only after flapping my mouth like a fish that I noticed the playful smirk on his face. My eyebrows lowered in mock anger. I splashed some of the pool water at him with my hand, hitting him with a few drops. "Pervert. I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you?"
He shrugged. "I wouldn't mind." He stood from his plastic lawn chair and headed back inside through the sliding glass doors. I heard him calling for his mother as I watched him walk further into the house and around a corner. I felt my cheeks heat up and my stomach clench up. Was he going to ask for a bathing suit? I didn't know if I was ready to let him see me in such form-fitting clothes. I knew I was lucky, though... I no longer had to hide my lower half, because I'd had surgery. I still wasn't completely comfortable with some parts of my body, though. I had a long torso, like most men, legs coming together a bit too high for a normal female. And my shoulders were still wider than they should have been. My hips weren't large and round. I guess being skinny had its down side. I never really paid attention to my legs, but they were probably more muscular than they should have been.
Heero returned moments later, a shred of black fabric in his hand. He went to where I was sitting at the pool and knelt down beside me. "Mom says you can borrow this." He put the bathing suit in my lap. "Says it'll probably fit. If it doesn't, we'll just go buy you one."
I nodded, numbly picking up the bathing suit before I stood and headed for the door. I wasn't really liking this idea. Heero told me that I could change in his room, so I padded silently down the hall and closed the door behind me, locking it. I unfolded the bathing suit from itself, staring at it. It was a conservative, silky thing—a plain black one-piece with some mesh-like fabric at the top, right above the breast of it. It also had no back; just a butt and a snap at the neck. I sighed and began to shed my clothes, reminding myself that I was doing this for Heero, so that Heero could go swimming and have some fun. That thought made it a little more easy for me.
Once I had the bathing suit on, I went into the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror. Boy, was that a mistake. I frowned at the sight that greeted me, feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. It had been a long, long time since I'd seen myself naked, and this was the closest thing I knew I would ever get to doing it again. My shoulders were wide and square, and my hips pissed me off. They looked like man hips. Even my arms, to my eyes, looked like man arms.
There was a knock at the door and I jumped, arms instinctively going up to cover myself. Heero was on the other side. "What's taking so long?"
"I... uh... I'm looking for a towel."
"I've already got some out here." I hesitantly opened the door and took a towel from Heero's hand, wrapping it around myself. I felt exposed. He stared at me strangely as I walked past.
We walked out to the pool again. Heero immediately divested himself of his t-shirt and sandals. I realized he had changed into his swim trunks, too. Without much hesitation, he did a near-running dive into the pool, not splashing much water. Well, at least someone knew what they were doing. I sat on the edge of the pool above the steps and slowly eased myself in, towel still around me.
Heero was staring at me, paddling his legs and arms to keep himself afloat in the deep end. "What are you waiting for?"
I frowned at him and tossed the towel aside, immediately dunking myself into the water, hoping it provided some cover. "I don't really know how to swim all that great." I watched his head fall under water, and then he was swimming towards me. I curled in on myself, knowing he had his eyes open. I shouldn't have felt so self-conscious, but I did. He stood up right in front of me, and I was forced to see with incredible clarity, his water-dripping chest and the sunlight shining on it. I frowned, knowing I was staring. He moved a hand out to my arm and I watched his chest flex with the motions, not caring that he was touching me when I was feeling so vulnerable. "Come on... you can hang onto my arm if you start to drown."
I glared at him, not really annoyed. "I'm not that bad!" I pushed away from him and started to swim around, happy that I was in the shallow side and the ground was right below me. I could stand up if things got difficult. Unfortunately, the only thing I knew how to do, really, was paddle like a dog. Heero watched me, smirking.
"What are you smirking about?"
"You look like a dog." I stood up and barked at him, literally, before diving under water. When my head was under, I could swim a little better. I opened my eyes to watch where I was going, and the chlorine stung them. Just as I was getting ready to go up for air, Heero grabbed on to one of my feet and pulled me back down. I punched him in the shoulder playfully and he let me go, allowing me to float to the surface.
He eventually came up right in front of me. I ducked the lower half of my face underwater and stared at him. We both flailed our arms and legs to stay afloat.
I grinned, lifted my head up, and spit water right in his face, laughing. He put a hand on top of my head and pushed me under. I came up sputtering and coughing.
And so the afternoon went by. We played around in the pool like children. I even climbed out once or twice and ran to the other end to get away from him. And I didn't even feel self-conscious. Once we were worn out, I ended up reclining on a big purple pool float. Heero had his arms crossed and resting at the foot of it, head nestled into them, eyes closed. We floated idly around the pool until Emara called us in to dinner.
We got out, wrapped ourselves in towels, and went to change into dry clothes. I was the last one out, my hair unbraided as I ran my fingers through the wet mass. Everyone was already sitting at the table. I could see the slightest smile on Heero's face. I sat down at the table, feeling a little embarrassed that I'd taken so long and made them wait.
Ritualistic habits like praying were not common in this house. As soon as I sat down, everyone started to dish out their food. It was more Japanese cuisine, except for Jack. He was eating a bowl of soup and a large sandwich and washing it down with a beer. I looked over at him. He looked drunk. I frowned and helped myself to some rice and some sort of beef entrée. "This looks wonderful, Ms. Yuy."
She smiled at me in thanks and I started to eat. Jack started talking again. "Did you two have fun in the pool out there?" Heero and I nodded mutely. "We had that put in when Jack Jr. was still a kid. Cost a lot of money." He was talking to me now. I stared at my food, but nodded again. "Jack Jr. didn't like it at first. Wouldn't set foot in it. Said it was because I paid for it, he didn't want it."
I glanced up at Heero. He was frowning. Couldn't say I blamed him.
"But apparently, our little Jackie got over that pretty fast."
After dinner, I helped Emara clear the table, but she refused help with washing the dishes, so I went back into Heero's room. I found him reclining on the bed, reading a magazine. Surprise, it was about motorcycles. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it. "Why is your step-father like that?"
"Like what?" he asked, without looking up.
"I mean, why does he seem like he's always trying to pick a fight with you?"
He put the magazine aside and sat up, rubbing his cheek in thought, seeming like he didn't want to look at me. "I guess he wants a rematch."
I raised an eyebrow. "Rematch?"
Heero sighed. "We used to get into fights all the time, and he always 'won,' I guess you could say. Then a few years ago, during summer vacation, we got into one and... I won. He's been pushing for more ever since, but I've just learned to keep my mouth shut. I don't want to fight him anymore."
I sighed, crossing the room to sit down on the bed in front of him. I put my hand on his ankle, pulling at his jeans and staring at his shoe. I didn't know what I wanted to say, maybe some words of comfort, but I couldn't think of anything. He covered my hand with his and I looked up at him. He didn't speak.
"So you beat up your own step-father?" There was a slight grin on my face. I already didn't like the man, and I'd never been one to really forgive and forget. He was a horrible man, and the idea of Heero beating the crap out of him rather appealed to me. "I would have liked to have seen that."
He smirked and lay back down on the bed. I crawled up beside him and hesitantly rested my head on his chest. He didn't protest, not that I really expected him to. We sat there in silence until, sometime later, I fell asleep.
When I awoke in the morning, the bedroom light was off, we were under the covers, and Heero's chest was bare. I nuzzled my face into his pectoral muscle, grinning sleepily. My fingers went to his side and poked him lightly, trying to tickle him awake. He cracked open an eye and looked down at me. "Good morning, sleeping handsome." He smirked. "Isn't today your mother's birthday?"
He nodded sleepily and yawned, rolling over to face me and wrapping an arm around my waist. I burrowed into the comforting embrace of his arms. "Do you have anything planned, or are you just going to give her a gift and hang around?"
"We're supposed to go to a movie tonight, if that counts for anything."
"Aw... no party? No cake and ice cream?"
"I think my mother's a little old for that."
I frowned, realizing that I hadn't even thought to buy his mother a gift for her birthday. Even if I had, I wouldn't have known what to get her. I didn't even know the woman before yesterday. "I didn't get your mother a present."
He sighed and squished his chest into my face, trying to silence me. "I put your name on the card. Go back to sleep."
I stared into my dark crevice of Heero's chest. I didn't think I could sleep. Eventually, I wormed out of his grip and stood up to stretch. I was still in the clothes from yesterday, but needed to change into some clean ones. I glanced back at Heero. He seemed to be sleeping. I decided to just change in the room, digging through my bag for a clean pair of shorts and a t-shirt. When I was undressed, getting ready to slide my shorts on, Heero rolled over and looked at me, smiling. Surprised, I tripped on the shorts and fell onto the floor. "Heero! Dammit, I thought you were asleep!"
He chuckled at me, sitting up. "With all that noise you were making, how could you think I was asleep?"
I tried to cover myself with the shorts. At least I was still wearing my underwear. "You know, you have all the common courtesy of a Neanderthal."
"Oh, please... we've been living together for at least a week now. I think I deserve to see you in your underwear."
I rolled my eyes and slid the shorts and shirt on while still sitting on the floor. Heero watched me the whole time. I felt like an ant under his magnifying glass. "You know, you stare like a vulture."
Satisfied that he wasn't going to get a free peep show, he rolled back over and pulled the blanket up to his neck. I grabbed his discarded motorcycle magazine and flipped through it, stretching out on my stomach on the floor. "How did you get so into motorcycles, anyway?"
Heero sighed, rolling back over. "I just got one when I was sixteen and fell in love. Simple as that."
I nodded. "I think I should get one. Are they expensive?"
"Not as expensive as cars." He stared down at me on the floor. Well, glared is the proper word, I suppose. "You're not going to let me go back to sleep, are you?"
I shook my head, smiling secretly at the magazine and a picture of a half-naked woman on top of a Harley Davidson. Heero checked his watch. I guess he realized it was late enough to drag himself out of bed. "Christ... just once, I'd like to sleep in late. Just once." I watched him slump his way over to his bag and grab another white t-shirt. This one was one I hadn't seen, though. It had a black outline of wings on the back, the design looking surprisingly similar to those on his helmets.
"I like your shirt."
He craned his neck around to try and see the design on the back. "Oh... yeah. It's kind of old. Need to get a new one."
"What's your fascination with wings?"
He shrugged, probably not wanting to explain it yet. I made a mental note to ask him at a later time. "I just like them, I guess. Want to go pick up some breakfast?"