Envy leads to terrible things

By

KerrianneLupin

Chapter One

Of course I'll help

DISCLAIMER – None of the characters in this story belong to me

AUTHOR NOTE – Just another random story from me, there's not much to say I just hope you enjoy this.

SUMMARY – Remus makes a rash promise to help James get Lily Evans as much as he physically can. But how far is Remus willing to go to help his friend and will it affect his new found relationship with Sirius?

            James Potter sighed looking round the red common room that belonged to members of the Gryffindor house. He was by himself at the moment, the flames of the fire had long died down to embers and though he knew that like the other students, he should retire to his comfortable red bed he found himself unable to do that. There were too many thoughts, thoughts that were depressing for him flying round his head for him to settle down and sleep, he'd only end up lying there the entire night staring up at the ceiling as if it would some how give him the answers he wanted.

            As much as he was shamed to admit it he already knew the reason for his problem. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. The two of them were his greatest friends and there was nothing James wouldn't have done for either or them. He would have happily sacrificed his life if they ever asked him to or the situation called upon it.

The problem was that recently the pair of them had gotten together and were beginning a relationship. It wasn't that James was angry with them getting together, or disgusted that the pair of them were gay or that they kissed with as much passion as a man and women did. James hadn't been brought up that way. He was actually extremely happy for the pair of them, they both deserved to be happy and now the pair of them were. It was more the fact he was envious of them. Sirius and Remus were now happy, they now belonged together and James was pretty sure they would be together for the rest of their lives. James on the other hand was alone.

            There were a few girls he cared about in the school, he had even dated some but the one he wanted to date the most, despised his very existence and nothing he did could change her mind, James had tried being nice and generous in front of her and show his better qualities but Lily Evans seemed blinded to them only focusing on his worse points. It was frankly depressing for him. Why could his two best friends find happiness why he himself wallowed in self-pity because the girl he wanted, wanted nothing more then for him to die.

            "James?" James jumped and looked up to be confronted by the worried amber eyes of Remus, he was dressed in a t-shirt and jeans and had just come in through the portrait entrance.

            "Remus" he said in shock "Why are you up? Where have you been?" he questioned, Remus walked into the room fully and sat opposite James giving him a long look, James gave him a quick look. Sirius was definitely a lucky boy; Remus was attractive to look at with his large amber eyes, blond hair and good features as well as that perfect mouth, there were many a student at their school who would happily date him. He now shrugged and spoke

            "I was in the library," he said indicating the large book he had thrown to the side of him as he sat down, James frowned

            "It's one in the morning Moony why would you be in the library this late?" he asked Remus gave a self-conscious smile

            "To be honest Prongs I forgot the time" he said "I went in there at 8 and then I found this book…" James laughed his hazel eyes twinkling behind his glasses

            "And don't tell me, you started reading it and then you got caught up in it all and you've only just realised the time" Remus nodded with a chuckle

            "How well you know me" he commented lightly "That was exactly what happened" he frowned slightly "And why are you up at this time Prongs?" he questioned "You're normally fast asleep by this time" James shrugged looking away from his friend and glancing at the dying fire

            "Well I had a lot on my mind and I couldn't sleep" Remus looked concerned

            "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked "I'm not tired and I'll be happy to help you" James sighed and searched the face looking at me, Remus face looked tired but the full moon was coming each would explain that, his eyes however backed up his claim they were sparkling with intelligence and were wide awake.

            "Firstly I want to say I am happy for you" he blurted out, Moony was always good at listening and perhaps the younger boy would have something that could help James get rid of his feeling of despair. Remus looked surprised at that and gave a confused smile

            "Thank you," he said hesitantly James continued

            "I'm happy for you and Sirius, you do make such a good couple with each other," A smile came to Remus's face and his eyes began glowing with an inner light, his love for Sirius clear on his face "But I'm jealous," there it was said, he watch the look of love leave Remus's face and instead a surprised look swiftly followed by a sympathetic look covered his face

            "James" he said softly but James cut across him

            "You're both so bloody happy with each other that I find it quite depressing, I mean I am happy for you I truly am and you both deserve each other so much but it reminds me so much on what I don't have and at what I'll never get at this rate"

            "James it's…" Remus tried again, however James was on a roll now and so he continued

            "I really like Lily Remmie" he confessed "Really like her and she treats me like scum, she won't even talk to me, won't even acknowledge that there might be a good side to me and it drives me mad" this time Remus didn't even try to say anything he just watched his friend "I hate feeling like this Remus, I hate it" his voice caught on the last word and he felt a tear go down his cheek but for once he didn't care it was just him and Remus and he had finally had enough "I hate this, hate feeling like this" he sobbed "I just want it to go away" it took only a minute for Remus to get over his shock, a second later he was sitting next to James and had pulled him in for a hug, James wrapped his arm around the slim waist and sobbed. Why was everything so hard?

            "I'm so sorry Jamie" Remus whispered softly "I didn't realise, I didn't see you suffer, can you forgive me?" he asked pulling his head back, James didn't look up though "I'll help you anyway I can, We'll make Lily see the truth I promise you" James finally looked up

            "Mean it?" he asked "You'll help me get Lily to notice me, to stop treating me like I mean nothing" Remus nodded his head

            "Both me and Sirius will help" James nodded, pushing himself away and rubbing his eyes roughly

            "Thanks Remus" he said roughly "Just don't tell Sirius about this ok?" he said, Remus nodded with a small smile

            "Sirius won't hear a thing from me" he promised "You're worn out, you should go to bed" James nodded and allowed Remus to bully him up the stairs, within minutes he was in bed, teeth cleaned, pyjamas on and was fast asleep. Remus bit his lip as he watched his friend sleep. Perhaps he shouldn't have made such a rash promise like that. A feeling of guilt swamped him this was his and Sirius fault and Remus was going to make it up to James if it was the last thing he did.

A/N – Poor James over tired and in love with someone who hates him, who could blame him for the tears he experienced. Please Review but no flames, thank you

NEXT CHAPTER – I'm bringing the great Sirius Black in and after another failed attempt with Lily, James decides what he's going to do! Intrigued? Then read the next chapter!